falling apart...sorry for some what of a diary entry

morganlmw

So my sister is labor...I want so badly to be a great sister and be as great of aunt to this baby as I am all her other.
However I am in bed blubbering like baby. I just don't know how I am supposed to it. I'm falling apart. In a few days I will be expected to hold it. Everyone will be asking about the baby. I just don't have it in me to fake happiness.
Noone in my family gets what I am going through. My sister keeps accidentally having babies she cannot afford.
I feel like every time I see this baby (we are a close family I see them several times a week) I am just going to be reminded of this painful time in my life
My DH had to leave for work...so basically I am just all alone and feeling like a terrible person because I can't be happy for her.
PS...This also means our Thanksgiving and Shopping plans also re destroyed. I have no where to take my daughter for the holiday while DH works.
I keep praying for peace in my heart but I am not sure I have it in me.

mamababyrn

Big hugs. My SIL (who happens to be one of my childhood best friends) is pregnant and I know she is going to announce to extended family this week. I try to be happy for her, but I'm so sad for me. I'm sorry you are having to deal with this.

Reagan1010

I'm so sorry! ( ( Hugs ) ) I hope you are feeling a little better today! I know it's so hard!

morganlmw

Thanks ladies...things have been crazy. My niece was born yesterday but my sister experienced major complications. She couldn't deliver the placenta and had to have a dnc on it. But it didn't work, so basically they had to do a c section on just the placenta.
Today her blood pressure sky rocketed and they had to put her on seizure meds!
Baby Jaida is doing great...but very small

ambmama

So sorry- hugs! You are an amazing woman and I know you will love this new addition to the family. It will be hard, you will cry, but you are an amazing sister and a fantastic aunt and you will be there for them both. Maybe it won't be easy, but you will do it! Lots of love - I'm in the midst of an emotional baby drama with family so I get it!

wreckitsmommy

So hard to be happy about baby news when it's just so hard for you. My first son was IVF and we've yet to use protection and he's 2! Nothing yet! We went back to our RE already but IVF is just too unaffordable with both my husband and I in school and my son's school tuition.