random thought....

MKateG

So being really bored has drove me to lurking TB lately... But is it just me or do ALL other boards that aren't specifically for IFers a little more.... I don't know how to put this but very quick to place judgment/be snarky over very minute things? (Example: a lady seeking encouragement after symptoms disappeared in first tri who had history of losses- they pretty much made fun of her!) That's one thing I really had to get used to after I ventured out of my cozy IF boards! Its a completely different world out there!

Don't get me wrong I've gotten tons of support from my BMB and multiples board.... but you ladies have a special place in my heart ;;) just wanted to let you all know how much I appreciate you!

kmc84

Nope-not just you! There can be a lot of snark around the bump. I never was comfortable with my BMB (disclaimer-I never even tried this time around).

I like the cloth diapering board-they are snarky, but it's in good humor. Sometimes it gets a little nasty, but generally it seems deserved!

Grateful&Thankful

I've noticed this too. It's like some people are 10 yrs old & try to come up with the snarkiest, wittiest answer just so they can receive "kudos" from other posters. It's like some sick competition. 

MKateG

hbanana18 said:

I agree some of the IF boards are more sensitive, but that poster is in my BMB and I'm on 1st tri often and she has been notorious for treating other members like google. I think people that recognized her name got annoyed because she's often posting FAQs and not utilizing the search bar. When she is kindly directed to a similar link or thread, she has given the other members attitude. This is just what I have personally seen.

Oh! I guess as a lurker I wouldn't have known that lol. I understand frustration with some things like that.

MKateG

@hbanana18‌ yea I didn't join my BMB until well into my sec tri (I didn't even lurk outside IF and PAIF until just before then). I am pretty active on my BMB since I'm not working anymore and can't do much as far as house chores go, it keeps me busy. It took me a while to warm up to posting much over there. But I do enjoy it now.
I guess I just feel bad for some of the posters I come upon while lurking lol

rella22

omg I said the same thing a few months ago! I intro'd on first tri and it was like *crickets* and then I read through and saw all these crazy nasty responses to people! I felt bad!!!

Saintelizabeth

We're all a little more supportive because we've all been there for one another during the ups and downs on the IF and TTTC boards. I'm definitely grateful to have you PAIF ladies to go to when I'm being irrational or have a dumb question

AMShark

I haven't noticed much snark on the multiples board - but I guess I haven't lurked there much recently.
My BMB can be a bit much for me at times. I think I just don't share the same sense if humor as some of the more prevalent posters there. Sometimes, it feels like it's hard to find any real content in the threads, between the bickering, and same tired old gifs.
But, I want to get into my BMB - so, I'm gonna keep trying. Maybe I'm just opening all of the wrong threads.

gsancho

Yeah, I knew the 3T and IF boards were much tamer, but I didn't realize how much so until I went to the BMBs.  I still enjoy my BMB - I've learned a lot and some of the snark is entertaining.  But I do agree some people get way more worked up than it's worth, even if the OP is an idiot. I think some people forget what it's like to be brand new and ignorant to forum etiquette.  Overtime, you get an idea of what threads will have more attitude in them and just ignore them.  

[Deleted User]

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gsancho

JimBobCooter said:

There is definitely a different, gentler tone on the IF boards, but I do love my BMB.  There is for sure snark but none of it is mean spirited.  The group that the more delicate flowers have decided are "mean" are actually incredibly wonderful, supportive people who will bend over backwards to lift you up when you need it. The posts that bug me most aren't the snarky one, but the ones from people who have never even posted but then come in and do a huge "I hate you all" post and demand everything change to meet their needs.  Why bother with that?   And we had someone have a serious meltdown all over the place a few hours ago that kind of stopped everything for an hour.  But seriously my BMB is awesome.  And actually very tame compared to others.

ETA:  And I'll admit I was nervous to intro on my BMB since I'm older and wasn't sure how that would be received by the younger crowd.  It's never been an issue at all though.

Oh yes, I definitely agree with that.  Or the ones who only pipe up to be a white knight, only to later say something awful.  All of that combined with people getting worked up with snarkiness can be a bit much.  

But like I said, it's still worth it to hang out a bit.  I'd much rather deal with snarkiness than people blowing smoke up my ass or hundreds of posts where I'm asked to guess the sex of someone's baby.

MKateG

@AMShark‌ the multiples board is great, I haven't seen anything on there like that :-) I'm not super active over there. I do like to read the threads from the MoM, they always have great advice!

starlightgator

@MKateG I agree that the BMB board is absolutely awful. They are children and honestly remind me of the comments I overhear on the lower school playground. I tried to do an intro and get involved, but I just can't handle reading the awful comments made for the sole purpose of getting more attention for themselves. It's so sad that once you get comfortable over here, and try to meet other ladies in your EDD, you get "slapped down." Very disappointing. But, I suppose it's just a pleasant reminder to appreciate the kind ladies on this board even more.

dp21

I just do this board, lol.  I'm scared to leave haha 

mrs.willie

I was thinking the same thing. I lurk over on the BMB's every so often to see what's going on and I say WTF every time. People can't post anything on there without the same group of posters who have to write something negative or be of absolutely no help. Are you that miserable IRL too?

southernyankeegirl

My BMB seems to be the exception but overall it's pretty supportive and tame. Even UO and FFFC aren't big fights typically.

I have to say, I think 3T has gotten a bit more snarky and exclusive in the 8 months since I left (it's been HOW long????). I am not sure that's a good thing. I have had a few girls I keep in touch with who are still struggling say they don't feel as "at home" there anymore. That's kinda sad for me.

gsancho

southernyankeegirl said:

My BMB seems to be the exception but overall it's pretty supportive and tame. Even UO and FFFC aren't big fights typically. I have to say, I think 3T has gotten a bit more snarky and exclusive in the 8 months since I left (it's been HOW long????). I am not sure that's a good thing. I have had a few girls I keep in touch with who are still struggling say they don't feel as "at home" there anymore. That's kinda sad for me.

I'm glad I'm not the only grad who noticed that!  I've also had some ladies tell me they don't like being on there as much anymore, which sucks.  Some like it snarky, I guess, and some don't...

AMShark

I *thought* I liked some snark on a board - It turns out, I only like snark in moderation.  

I find constant snark more tiresome than repetitive questions - or at least just as tiresome.

Regan1976

I've never been comfortable in my BMB at all. A certain group seem to think that when you want everyone to calm down when everyone's gotten all worked up you are defending someone when all you really want is some peace. I enjoy a good snark or well placed gif but to just tell people that they are free to leave if you don't like how they run a board or are treating people is just a bit rude. Not everyone has the same amount of common sense or sense of humor. I don't know about you but sometimes goggle scares the crap out of me and this would seem to be a good place to get someone who knows to help you out some. But no one searches all of the threads first. Yes, there are trolls but you don't have to become one yourself to deal with them. I still lurk there because there are some good threads that give some great information but I am very very careful about who I talk to now. I am so glad I have PAIF board. 

daydreamernyc

I agree. It's hard to see all the snarky-ness. I think the size of the group is a major factor in this as well. It's hard to get to know everyone but I'm sure once you do, the snarky-ness will melt away and not be so apparent.

Personally, I've been a bit preoccupied with understanding my condition and my options for having a healthy baby that that has factored into my participation as well. 

I really enjoy the support and compassion the IF boards provide. Maybe it also really is just something about the mix of people. with IF, we have all experienced disappointment first hand so we know how important support is for others when they are experiencing it.

MKateG

A little snark in certain places don't bother me and are sometimes entertaining, it just seems to escalate fast in certain boards! & Most of the gifs on my bmb are really funny. My bmb is pretty tame. It seems to come and go in spells. I like to lurk just to pass time but when there is excessive arguing/snark it gets tiresome and annoying quick!

rella22

gsancho said:

southernyankeegirl said:

My BMB seems to be the exception but overall it's pretty supportive and tame. Even UO and FFFC aren't big fights typically.

I have to say, I think 3T has gotten a bit more snarky and exclusive in the 8 months since I left (it's been HOW long????). I am not sure that's a good thing. I have had a few girls I keep in touch with who are still struggling say they don't feel as "at home" there anymore. That's kinda sad for me.

I'm glad I'm not the only grad who noticed that!  I've also had some ladies tell me they don't like being on there as much anymore, which sucks.  Some like it snarky, I guess, and some don't...

I also noticed 3T getting a bit more snarky! And not as welcoming as it was when I joined almost a year ago! I think learning forum etiquette is tough! Especially since all the boards are SO different! I'm just grateful when I was on 3T that it was welcoming and I fit in...just like here! Haven't quite gotten that feeling elsewhere!

Momarazzi007

I came from 2if which from what I understand From others was pretty rough for some people, but I never saw an issue, but bmb? Yeah I saw what you mean, that is why I stick around here. Ladies who know where we have been and what a celebration this is. I feel all the ladies here know what it means to be worried about symptoms, lack of symptoms, anything- and we are going to support each other! This is how it should be.

Canuck13

Grateful&Thankful said:

I've noticed this too. It's like some people are 10 yrs old & try to come up with the snarkiest, wittiest answer just so they can receive "kudos" from other posters. It's like some sick competition. 

This is exactly how I feel too...it's like kids needing attention from their peers (I'm a teacher)! Usually I can just ignore it, but sometimes it REALLY annoys me and I want to speak up and say, "give this person a break and either answer (their dumb question) or ignore it". I don't quite get why people have to jump all over someone. I have to admit that I have been looking on the Baby Names forum, just for ideas, and the 'regulars' are pretty awful there too...I kinda said as much yesterday on a post and of course got a few bitchy responses...lol oh well....

turquoisequeen

I feel like my BMB is overloaded with this lately. Someone makes a dumb post or doesn't pay attention to a sticky post that is meant for their question or announcement and instead of 1 or 2 people responding to their mistake, hundreds of people comment back and forth trying to be witty/snarky and it just clogs up the board.

I really hope it calms down soon. Thank goodness for PAIF!