I'm looking for support and guidance and understand from women (and dads) who have been through this heartbreaking time.
On Monday we were looking at our ultrasound and saw our sweet baby moving all around- the face and hands and everything. But we were also then told that our little one has a 1 in 250,000 condition called hydranencephaly, where half of her brain is not formed and she would not survive after birth. We have decided to let her go to heaven on Tuesday instead of letting her live for a few moments after birth. It is such a hard decision- and sometimes I feel I would rather meet her for those few seconds, but then I think of our baby suffering and know we've made the right decision.
So, I'm waiting. My husband had to go back to work today so I am home, very alone, as we just moved across the country, waiting for next week. My doctor keeps telling me that I have to be very okay with this decision or else we shouldn't do it. How can I ever be okay with this? I'm not sure what to even do with myself. My doctor sent me home with some sleep meds and I wish I could just sleep until this is over and I feel better. But, will it ever be easier?
Thanks for any guidance you can share with me