Anatomy Scan "Etiquette"

jlc8efa

I am scheduled to have my anatomy scan on next Tuesday.  DH and I do not want to know the sex.  We have mentioned this to our OB and we will mention is to our ultrasound technician.  However, I feel like it is going to be the second thing that pops out of my mouth with every healthcare worker I encounter from then until deliver (I assume that is would be recorded in the file).  Is it rude to keep reminding everyone and does anyone have "tips" on how to keep it a surprise (I have heard stories of workers using sex specific pronouns and giving it away by accident)?

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schnitz9

My tech asked me before we even started.  She said if we didn't want to know there would be a note in my chart for future appts.  If we chose not to know she would turn the screen and check that area.  She said they have to document if the baby is a healthy male or female in the chart but don't have to tell us.  We chose to know so it is not an issue.  

ashiscute

We were asked if we wanted to know and said no. The tech said they don't even look at that area since it's not necessary. It was not in our chart and no one knew. I didn't have to worry once.

sschwege

Definitely tell the tech when you get there, but I wouldn't worry about future appointments, unless you are having another u/s.  I'm not sure if it was documented in my chart, but it never came up with my other two.  Come to think of it, it might not have been in my chart because I remember a couple of my MWs taking guesses as to what they thought I was having, just for fun.  I'm sure they wouldn't have said a word if they actually knew!  

tinyjoys

We were asked at the start of our anatomy scan if we wanted to know. We had already known at that point for a few weeks, so they just double checked and confirmed. 

Whitfry

Our tech asked us before she went and scanned that area. However if we hadn't wanted to know, I'd have made it clear at the beginning of the scan just to be safe.

la79al

With DD1, I was at an appointment after our u/s and was referring to the baby as 'he'.  The doctor was like 'you do realize since you didn't find out, it could be a girl, right' and I said yes.  But I didn't know if it was in my chart or if the doctor was just making a point so I still walked away not knowing.  I think the doctors, etc all just refer to babies in general as him or her so it has nothing necessarily to do with what it actually is.  (And I always refer to them as 'it' and I always catch grief for that)

CivilMommy

I was team green for #1 - had over a dozen ultrasounds - the tech's never looked there (nothing important for them to worry about medically there...they jump from bladder down to femur pretty fast).  baby's sex was a total surprise.  I DID remind them at every scan that the sex was a surprise and there was never an issue.

The u/s report did NOT include the sex - so my OB never knew either.

I am team green again for #3 - not anticipating any problems.

I assume that they will use the pronoun "he" more often in general so I don't get hung up on that word choice.  Most times they use "baby".  #1 was a girl...so even though they may have said "he" it was just general reference to the baby and not the sex.

taahira

At all my visits before I could even say anything I've been ask if I know the sex, or want to know the sex. I feel tech and doctors are quite sensitive about this topic, knowing many parents like to wait. Although I don't think there is any harm in mentioning it at any of your appointments just in case.

jobotrobot

I told my tech that we didn't want to know and asked if it's recorded anywhere even if we chose not to know. She said they don't indicate it anywhere. When we had the A/S, she also said that even if we wanted to know, she couldn't tell us because the baby had its head in my cervix and nothing was showing. So at this point, no one knows and since I'm not having another scan, don't think anyone will.

amandamarie2

Just had my A/S today. After the tech had done all the important measurements, she asked if there was anything else we'd like to see which I take it would have been my opportunity to find out the sex if I wanted to.

lianeski

we knew the sex prior to our a/s, but the tech asked at the start if we wanted to know or not. i know of one person who didn't want to know the sex and they never had it mentioned at a following appt, but then due to family circumstances she changed her mind at 39 weeks.  they ended up having to do an u/s because it wasn't noted in her chart anywhere.  so i would say, just check with your ob to make sure it isn't in your file where someone could accidentally reveal it to you.

LuvLoveXo

With DS I said it repeatedly and right away with each appointment and scan. I was very adamant and also apologetic for being so repetitive and they all understood. Ask about your office's charting system. Apparently r my office whenever someone accesses my file a big red bar appears saying we don't want to know. They don't put the sex in the chart but it is on the genetic testing report and of course the ultrasound techs could have a human error and slip with a pronoun. Wishing you the best of luck with NOT finding out and for your delivery.

Bostonchelle

Definitely tell the tech, although I'm sure they will ask anyhow. My doctors office does not keep a record of the sex from the a/s so it was never an issue (they don't care). I have known the sex since 11 weeks (genetic testing) and at no point has anyone said "he" referring to the baby. Your doc will likely always refer to it as "baby" or the like. Best of luck with your scan!

suzysurparis

I love that in French "bébé" is a masculine noun, so it's always "il" and there's no give-aways. My doctor did ask at my last scan if we wanted to know the sex (even though it was too early to be sure) and I said yes. I've heard a lot of stories about delivery room reveals, so you can continue to insist that you dont want to know and you shouldnt feel too guilty about it, just be nice when you remind them.

jlc8efa

Thank you everyone for your responses.  I am excited for Tuesday to see baby again and (hopefully) know everything is going well!