OPP Tuesdays!

theholmanherd

OPP= other people's pregnancies. It includes babies and children. You've been warned, now have at it!

dancerspose

Oh man, I've been holding this in since Saturday, which was pretty much the worst day...

Started off going with DH to visit his best friend whose GF had a baby two weeks ago (an unplanned pregnancy)...cute newborn...fun...DH's friend "jokingly" saying we're next and need to get on this baby thing...cue trying not to cry.

Then, we had lunch with good friends we hadn't seen in forever because they moved away.  They have two kids (6 and 19 months).  I had to put up with the husband asking when we're having kids, how many, and, again, try not to burst into tears.  When I finally get a few minutes alone with my girlfriend (in the bathroom of course) I clue her in to what's been going on.  Now here's the kicker, she then tells me that her husband had a vasectomy a few weeks ago because they thought they were done, but she just took a test the day before and is pregnant again.  Another unplanned pregnancy, with a couple who had gone to great lengths to not have another baby...how freakin unfair is all this!!!!

I seriously felt like the whole world was just mocking me all day.  I got home and pretty much burst into tears for the next hour with DH looking on hopelessly not knowing what to do.  But seriously, could life be any more unfair? Ugh, I hate this.

Ok, rant over.

dancerspose

Thanks @triathlete23‌ .  And I actually think she got knocked up right before the vasectomy by what she was saying because of course they weren't using birth control even though they were "done."  I shouldn't be surprised.  There first son was unplanned and she didn't know for almost 3 months that she was pregnant.  At the time when I asked her what birth control they had been using she said none, even though they didn't want a child at the time.  I was shocked them so I shouldn't have been this time...

scheyanne

@shafwilson oh man that is a HORRID day!! My heart goes out to you My BFF had a scare after her husband's vasectomy a few months ago (they have 3 kids already) and when she called me all freaked out I could barely hold it together.

My 18 year old cousin just told the family that his 17 year old GF is 4 months along, my grandfather who is partially senile responded with "well I guess we will take any grandchildren we can get at this point" as the entire family has been waiting on me and DH to produce! So yeah, the holidays should be REAL fun  %-(

SND1231

@shafwilson that is so rough. Hugs to you!

My OPP is an impending announcment I just keep waiting to hear. My cousin, who is more like my sister, has two children (3 and 1) from two different dads and is now married to a great guy. He has been wanting kids for forever (He thought the 1 year old was his) and she told me they were going to start trying a few months ago. I just know the announcement that she is KU for a third time is coming and I have been avoiding seeing her because of it. I am so terrible.

dominicandreamer

I'm sorry you've had so many in your face comments @Shafwilson.  I hope your friend was at least a little understanding when she told you her news.  

This week's is thanks to my mom.  We were texting back and forth about Thanksgiving with her husbands family and the conversation went like this:

Mom: A little nervous all of us are together.

         Son & DIL and their kids, Daughter & SIL and their kids will all be there.

         We're leaving early though because DIL has to work.

Me: Okay we'll see you at 6:00 then?

Mom: FYI, DIL is pregnant.

         I don't know where that came from.

Me: Yeah neither do I.

Way to blindside me mom.  

Edited because: holy moly @Scheyanne!  I'm so sorry.  That was not cool, even if he is a little senile.  

BunnyBerry

@shafwilson I am so sorry!

@dominicandreamer Oh my. Good luck, I hope you have some kid-free fun on Thanksgiving!

@scheyenne Oh my goodness, I can't believe what your grandfather said. Hopefully he just doesn't know you have IF?

scheyanne

@bunnyberry Yeah, he's been told that we are trying and having a hard time, but like I mentioned he is getting a bit senile so I chalk it up (trying to stay positive) to that. 

Oh man do I hear you ladies with the shower thing. I avoid them like the plague at this point, luckily for me most of my close GF's know what's going on with us so they understand. In fact the last shower that was thrown in our group of friends the host insisted there be alcohol involved for "anyone who needs a little lubrication" haha. I feel like at least wine should be mandatory to sit through those things! 

dancerspose

@lemonliz I'm with you on showers, so strange and awkward...it's one of the nice things about  my religion that we don't do baby showers.  There are a lot of superstitions around pregnancy and childbirth and Jewish families (many of them at least) just don't have baby showers.  If I'm ever given the chance I definitely intend to follow that tradition.

typo31

@lemonliz I absolutely agree re: showers. I am staunchly against having one for myself - I could not stand to be the center of attention at a party if I thought that even one person there was dreading it/hurt by it/couldn't wait for it to be over. I would be mortified. As soon as I get that BFP, we're going to start saving lots of coin to purchase all our own stuff!  

@scheyanne - I'm sorry to hear about hurtful comments from someone with mild dementia (which, by the by, I encourage everyone to use instead of "senile." It keeps the focus on the fact that this is a disease for which we need to find a cure, not a natural part of aging). I counsel families on managing behaviors and symptoms of dementia patients, and these types of scenarios are just plain crummy.  Words hurt, even when you can't get angry at the intent. 

BunnyBerry

I'm in the minority here...I have loved showers since I was little. I love throwing them too, even as an IFer, it's like a chance to indulge my obsession with everything baby-related. And a part of me feels like it's putting out some kind of good karma so someone will throw me an amazing baby shower (I am totally excited to have one...I've waited long enough and missed out on so much due to IF, can't wait until it's my time!). I also luuurve shower games.

sunshine412

My best friend and I have followed similar paths most of our lives. She doesn't know how long we've been TTC. Back in July she was telling me that she finally convinced her H to start trying. Wouldn't you know, they were successful their first month. Part of me was expecting it, but the other part was so upset when they told us.

DH doesn't get why I can't just be happy for our friends. He doesn't understand why it hurts so much to be around her. I purposely try to avoid having to be alone with her, for fear that I'll have to talk about her pregnancy. I feel like a terrible friend who can't even bring myself to ask her casual questions about it. Now that most of our friends have a baby or one on the way, it's all they talk about and I feel so left out.

theholmanherd

I think for once I'm glad I won't be around friends and family for the holidays. I really can't handle insensitive comments or seeing other people's kids.

cbnola71

Hugs to yall for OPP! 

Best friend had a pregnancy SCARE last night. Yes a "scare." God, what I wouldn't do for a fucking scare! 

My work wife is literally about to give birth on her patients. She is due Thanksgiving day.... and we started trying at the same time. One of those people who got pregnant the first month off BC. Love and hate her at the same time. 

eener817

Oh my gosh, some of these situations sound so miserable. I am so sorry for all of you ladies in these terrible situations.

Ok, so I have 2 and they are COMPLETELY irrational, so don't judge me please.

1 - Thanksgiving with my side of the fam on Thursday and I am completely terrified that my cousin, who is the same age as me and married just as long, will be announcing. We are not close, so I have no idea if they are even trying, but I am seriously losing sleep over the possibility.

2 - I am an avid reader and a Jodi Picoult fan. Her newest book, Leaving Time, is somewhat of a possible murder mystery but is about an animal behaviorist who focuses on elephants. This may be a spoiler if you are planning on reading, so stop now if you are....... The WHOLE FREAKING thing is about being a mother (both human and elephant). I am getting miserable reading it, but I am too far in to stop. Ugh.

Radiantly

My friend at work due April told me that I'm invited to her shower in March. I acted happy but I don't know if I'll want to go. Obvi. Last time I said yes to a shower i got AF that day and cancelled and the other chick was totally a bitch about it. Not supportive at all.

This friend at work knows all the details about my trial TTC because she tried for a year herself. So I have been asking her details about being pregnant an being a friend to her. I like her and don't think she's insensitive at all. But a shower drop is hard to think about. I think they are boring unless you are pregnant too. Maybe still boring I don't know. If it's an excuse for friends to get together that's great. But If it's all strangers it's hella boring.

I am also Jewish which doesn't do showers. Due to superstitions. I think I will wait to find out the sex too so a shower would just be a lot of yellow green and awkwardness. Would love a nice lunch with girls though. Just wouldn't call it a shower.

Edited for clarity

MissK23

This weekend I had the....honor....of throwing my cousin a "gender reveal" party.

I spent 5 hours pretending to give a damn about her baby's gender...hell if I ever get KU I will be happy to have a baby and swear to NEVER ask someone dealing with IF to throw me a f-ing gender reveal party!

stace2524

@MissK23‌ that is horrible! If people want to have a gender reveal then so be it, but throw the damn party yourself!

@cinzink‌ wait in the car with the baby?!? That was quite insensitive of your brother. Sorry for CD1, drink all the wine you need to get through the weekend. Also, is that an Aussie in your pic?!?

@firstarabesque‌ her response was complete passive aggressive bs. She is obviously very selfish so just ignore it and move on.

MissK23

@murrt I had the same thing happen to me....like exactly! They got married the same weekend we did and bam the congrats are all OVER my FB!!

MissK23

@stace2524 right?? It's so hard cause it's not like I can really say no without it being an issue...family can really be insensitive sometimes!

stace2524

@cinzink I have 2 blue merle aussies too!!! Mine are minis and their names are Abby and Lucy