NBR: WWYD?

ifwisheswerefishes

So I wrote a book. And it's coming out on December 1st, and as such, it's the big talk of the family right now. Except that I got a call from my parents expressing "intense concern" (my mother was crying) regarding the fact that my book has swearing in it, and as such, they can't recommend it to the family at Thanksgiving. My mother was borderline asking me to not even mention the book at Thanksgiving and to shut down all conversations regarding it, but my dad talked her out of that. 

But I'm feeling a little...embarrassed and upset. Of course my parents don't dictate what I do, but I don't like knowing that they're ashamed of something I've done on this level of BIG. 

I don't know...does anyone have any advice? At all? Because I need SOMETHING here! 

RWPhoenix

First Congrats on publishing a book! That has been a long time dream of mine, glad to offer a big online hug to a fellow writer!
Second, I am sorry your mom is acting this way. She should be proud and bragging to the family and friends about having a 'famous' writer in the family. It's sad that she is offended by swearing. Curious, how much swearing is there? Like every other word or just some, not that it should matter. Families especially moms can be offended sometimes by the silliest things. I hope that your mother gets over it and gives you praise on your accomplishment.
As for what to do, I would feel out the tension of the room or wait until your mom is out of earshot to mention the book. Be proud of what you did and don't let her get you down. Good luck!

winterbaby1210

You wrote a book?! How amazing is that!! Congratulations!!! What an accomplishment!  

My advice, bring it up to the family!  Shout it from the rooftops lady!  But maybe out of respect for your parents, mention to people there is some off color language that was necessary to express your ideas fully or something.  

I'm sorry your parents reacted so strongly.  Maybe talk to them again before thanksgiving and explain you're super proud of the book and you're sorry they're embarrassed by it but you hope they can be more supportive of the accomplishments you've had in your ADULT life.

Good luck and congratulations again!

ifwisheswerefishes

They're mostly concerned about "what it implies" and "an audience that knows me being shocked that I would stoop to such a level." We're a religious (Christian) family. I used "fuck" about four different times, and other "lesser" words about fifteen to twenty times. 

I did just get off the phone with my dad who is "proud but concerned for my morality." So...I just have to get through Thanksgiving and pretty much make them realize that this is reality. People swear. And I wrote a damn BOOK, for eff's sake!

Chasity08

Lady....shout that shit as loud as you can. You are a freakin ROCKSTAR for publishing a book! And they should all be rocking out with you! They're adults. They'll get over a few F-bombs Don't let anyone bring you down, and don't worry about what they think. I know that's easier said than done, but there will always be people against something you've done, no matter what it is. Family or not. So just focus on the great thing that you have done, and be proud of it.

Congrats again! What an accomplishment!

ifwisheswerefishes

Theusualmischief said:

First of all, what book!>??!?!?  What's it about?!?!  Can we get advanced copies so we can promote them for you?

I agree with PP.  You wrote a DAMN book!  You're parents should be FUCKING proud of you and your accomplishment.  Unfortunately however I have dealt with people that sound to be similar to your parents, and frankly nothing will deter them.  If you're in the mood to keep the peace keep the book talk to a minimum or only out of her earshot.  And frankly, if she doesn't want to recommend it she doesn't have to, doesn't mean you can't talk about it!  

You can actually pre-order the Kindle copy on Amazon. The paperback you can order on December 1st...wasn't wanting to make this even MORE AW-y so I didn't include the links. That's up to ya'll.

My BIG thing is that I am SO FUCKING PROUD of myself. I've wanted to write a book for literally twenty years. And I finally did it. And now it's coming down to swearing? Which...really? Jesus swore! *headdesk*

My mom did finally relent and say that "it's your artistic expression," but still she's apalled and "can't recommend it to friends and family with that as the choice," and "can you re-write it without the swearing and re-release it? you can do that, right?" 

AHHH!

hullabalou

Congratulations! That is huge. I agree with mentioning a disclaimer that there is strong language in parts if you have other family that would be offended.

ifwisheswerefishes

cookiesandwine said:

Congrats on such an awesome accomplishment!  If your comfortable sharing, I'd love to check it out!!

As to your parents, I can't even imagine how frustrating that must be for you. You can't force your parents to recommend it, but they can't force you to not talk about it either. I absolutely would bring it up to your extended family! Just add a disclaimer that it's rated PG13 and they can decide for themselves if they want to read it.

That disclaimer is actually a great idea. You know what you're getting into when you go see a movie, so why not a book? That is...really genius, actually.

Mackalack

Like others have said, this is such a huge accomplishment!!  Writing a book is amazing and a feat most can't do!  Way to go!!!  

Second... I'm sorry she's up in arms over cursing.  Of all the things to be upset about, swearing shouldn't be one of them.  You're an adult, and you can say and write whatever you'd like.  Poo poo to her for raining on your parade!  Be proud of what you've accomplished - try hard not to let her bring you down!

foreverMorgan

I'm, apparently, in the minority as I don't curse and most people I associate with do so sparingly, at least in my presence. That, however, would never prevent me from being proud of someone I know becoming a Published author - that's an amazing achievement! And it has never prevented me from reading books or watching tv or movies.

Congratulations on your book! Don't let your parents put a damper on your celebration. Inthink you should absolutely talk about your book and let the potential readers decide if a few curse words is really that big of a deal.

ifwisheswerefishes

BunkinMama said:

So what's the book about?

Faeries. The book is about Faeries. And I am learning to not be embarrassed when people ask that question because J.K. Rowling had to say she wrote about wizards. 

Mackalack

Do not be embarassed!! Faeries are awesome!  

ifwisheswerefishes

Mackalack said:

Do not be embarassed!! Faeries are awesome!  

They are! And I wrote a lot of my own lore (like, I do world-designing, like Tolkien, because just writing a book isn't mental enough), so they're basically my Fae babies. 

MisSmartyPants

Wow. That is so cool!! Talk about the book all you want. So what it has swear words in it...lit is way too big of an accomplishment not to talk about it!!

ifwisheswerefishes

3timemom said:

That is totally awesome! I think your parents will come around. I agree you could just tell people you used a little language you wouldn't normally do but a lot of people do that kind of thing when they write. Congrats!! I think your book should be on the book club list. Just saying.

There's a book club? 

intensivepurposes

I'm all choked up on your behalf because I'm interpreting your mom's actions as blatant nonsupport because I have issues. MOMMY ISSUES.

Congratulations on your incredible accomplishment.  I will totally buy your book, even the swear parts.

ecgal87

Congratulations!!! I'd be tooting my own horn everywhere if I had a book coming out.

At least they are still proud of you even if they are overreacting. My parents are super conservative (they're pentecostal) and I imagine would react this way if I was in your situation. I would do as others have said and be up front about the cursing when you tell your family. But no matter what anyone says, you are an adult and do not have to explain why you used those words. I reiterate my age to my parents all the time when they question my decisions.

indiejavamama3

I ditto everything that's been said.. I'd be bragging up a storm Congrats!!!

JennyJensing

If they think Christians don't cuss, send them to my family's Christmas party! Big Irish Catholic Fam
Sorry hun-they will get over it.

RWPhoenix

I will buy your book! PM info.

lifeisgood27

That is awesome that you not only wrote a book, but it was published. I'm sorry you're family doesn't understand. It's fan fiction, and faeries are magical, and stories about them are hugely mystical and will inflict inagination on the masses, which is seriously lacking these days. I would love to read it! Reading is an escape for a lot of people.
It sounds like your morality is just fine because most people swear these days and dont accomplish a published book.
Any pointers for creative writers?
Also, I would tell people at Thanksgiving because you are proud of it. And it's a huge accomplishment. Let your parents know that you will add a disclaimer for colorful language, but that you want to share your accomplishment with your family.

Edit: I never answered the question

ifwisheswerefishes

I'm basically leaning on the fact that I've made a lot of sales and that people are happy for me, even if my parents aren't...really able to get on the bandwagon fully. 

And they bought a copy. So basically, they're confusing. I even offered to take a black marker to the swear words in their copy. They passed. 

geoffandjen728

You wrote a book! That's amazing! Congratulations! Big news all around during this season of life. Would love to know the title!

ifwisheswerefishes

geoffandjen728 said:

You wrote a book! That's amazing! Congratulations! Big news all around during this season of life. Would love to know the title!

The title is Portals of Water and Wine. I don't know why I didn't just say that in the first place :P

DeliciousFishes

Congratulations! That is an awesome accomplishment. 

They are super-overreacting and I agree with other posts. Shout this from the rooftops!

lifeisgood27

That sounds so intriguing! So happy for you! Good luck with sales!

foodie12rn

First off, huge congratulations! That is amazing. We may have a famous writer on our BMB. Celebrity status!

I'm sorry your mom is not 100% supportive of your accomplishment. That can be a slap in the face. I would totally bring it up to the family. You should be proud of yourself!

...off to google your book!

ifwisheswerefishes

You guys are the best. I was really unsure if you guys were gonna lambaste me and say I was being an AW. The support means the world.  

GraceWordie

First off congratulations! I have been working on a book for some time and can't imagine how accomplished you must feel!!! I didn't read everyone's responses but seriously you need to be proud! I say bring it up and maybe mention there being a bit of profanity but surely everyone must understand that 30 ish cuss words hardly equals smut. The books these days are more and more perverse to say the least. I'm sure your family will quickly move on once the initial "shock" Goes away. What's the name of your book?! Sorry if you already answered this. So excited for you and I hope you get to
Celebrate to the fullest!

ifwisheswerefishes

@GraceWordie, it's called Portals of Water and Wine. I can PM you all the links if you would like. 

(also. girl, keep writing! It's worth it!)