February 2014 Moms

I'm dreading Thanksgiving with fighting family- anybody else in this boat?

jpoindahousejpoindahouse member
edited November 2014 in February 2014 Moms

As I've mentioned on here many, many (many) times before, my in laws are nuts. Currently their other son (my BIL), their other daughter in law and their other daughter in law's parents are fighting with them over some pretty awful remarks they made. The situation is very acrimonious and people are barely speaking. Still, everybody is getting together for Thanksgiving. We have all selected a seafood restaurant for Thanksgiving dinner because nobody wants to step foot in anybody else's house. BIL claims that everyone will behave because it is a public place, but just last Mother's Day (my first Mother's Day) they got into a screaming fight in the middle of a swanky Mother's Day brunch.

Anyway, I'm obligated to go because I promised DH. I really want to support DH's desire to be with his family, but I'm not sure how much longer I can do this. Especially given the fact that we now have a child who I really don't want growing up with this sort of conflict.

Anybody else in this boat or a similar boat? Suggestions are always welcome.

P.S. I hate that I come on here and always whine about the in laws, but this is just getting so all consuming and painful at this point.

Re: I'm dreading Thanksgiving with fighting family- anybody else in this boat?

  • +1 to what Shellbell said. I'm sorry you have to deal with this. I really don't understand why feuding families would willingly spend time together...sounds like a recipe for disaster!

    Good luck, mama. 
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  • Codypup said:
    +1 to what Shellbell said. I'm sorry you have to deal with this. I really don't understand why feuding families would willingly spend time together...sounds like a recipe for disaster!

    Good luck, mama. 
    Yeah. I have no idea. I mean I think they still love each other so I get why they want to spend the Holidays together, but you would think that they would go to family therapy and work their issues out so that their time together could actually be semi-enjoyable? Part of me thinks they may get off on the fighting...Anyway, thanks for the support
  • ((Hugs)) It is tough to face this, especially around the holidays. I agree with Shellbell's advice. 
    Lilypie - (qptF)


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  • We always go to my inlaw's for Thanksgiving and don't even attempt to get together with my side of the family. One because it always feels tense, my mom is awkward to be around and her and DH have nothing in coming so it's just weird. So because of that, she think DH doesn't like her or any of my family, so that's always fun. Even when I've attempted to get together with them, my mom can never give me a time and it's a huge hassle try to work around their schedule (I want to be there when my niece will be, her mom and dad (my brother) are split up so it's hard to figure out when she'll show up)
    My SIL seems to hate life sometimes and makes people miserable. She picks and chooses when to correct her kids and then when she does correct them, it's when they're doing the smallest thing wrong and she flips out. Fun times. My MIL gets the kids all riled up and loud and then wonders why they act like lunatics. Then SIL steps in and freaks out on them and that's about the point I'm ready to leave haha
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  • Thanks guys. Sounds like a lot of people have passive aggressive awkward thanksgivings, but nobody is going to have the Jerry Springer style smackdown my clan may have. I guess that I win the dysfunctional family award. Weeee!!! LOL

    Anyway, I'm going to talk to DH about exiting if it gets too much. Truthfully, our LO doesn't appear phased by fighting (the few times he has encountered it), but it can't be good for him and I want to set a precedent that this is not ok to do in front of the child

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