so this was weird...

alli2672

I had a knock on my door while I was making dinner tonight, and it was one of my son's "friends" from preschool and his mom.  This child is in first grade now, so we haven't seen them in about a year and a half, and weren't really friends to begin with (I don't know the mom's first name or anything).  Anyway, she asks how I am, how DS1 is doing, and oohs and awws over my new baby.  I asked if they wanted to stay for dinner, and she said that she couldn't, but could her son stay?  She would be back in an hour.  She was going to do some shopping.  He played really well with my kids, ate most of his dinner, and she was back in about 1.5 hours.  I am not really complaining.  It's just weird. 
Also, there isn't really anywhere to shop around here after 5pm on a Sunday night, so I have no idea where she really went or why she chose me to babysit her child. 

ASmallWonder

That is one of the oddest damn things I've ever heard. 

[Deleted User]

What the hell?

iverske9

Yeah that is really strange!

Mustardseed2007

How did she know where you live? Even if she went to your house for a birthday party or something a year ago....it makes me wonder if she planned to go to your house or if she was in the area for whatever she was doing and she realized she was near you.

Maybe you're being punked.

RachelandEduardo

That is super weird...

Mustardseed2007

^^Seriously, my mind keeps going to drugs also.

VitaLuna

What?? Super odd. Who does that? Maybe she was about to lose her sh*t and didn't know where to take him? Or... booty call? So weird.

NADA-H

this is beyond strange

CarrieB.

VitaLuna said:

What?? Super odd. Who does that? Maybe she was about to lose her sh*t and didn't know where to take him? Or... booty call? So weird.

Well if she was about to lose it and needed a break for an hour, I guess that's really great you could help out. Maybe she has no friends or family in the area?

What a weird thing to happen!

djm31012

Yes but even still, wouldnt a normal person be like hey, i know this is super out of the blue but i really need someone to watch him for an hour and I cant find anyone to do it and im in a bind? This is very strange!

alli2672

Mustardseed2007 said:

How did she know where you live? Even if she went to your house for a birthday party or something a year ago....it makes me wonder if she planned to go to your house or if she was in the area for whatever she was doing and she realized she was near you.

Yeah.  This may be it.  She was at our house for a birthday party about a year and a half ago.  So that's how she knows where I live.  

She texted about midnight last night and said that her son had a good time visiting with his friend, and he had been wanting to play with him for a while. 

Maybe she really didn't know how to get ahold of me, so she just came over.  And once she was there, it felt awkward, so she made up the excuse about shopping and left her son for a playdate?  I don't know.  It still seems like there is something else going on. 

I told her that they were both welcome anytime.  I hope everything is going okay with them.  He is a super-cute kid. 

alli2672

 

beaubecca said:

I would not be ok with that! You're a better person than I am. Did youat least have her contact # and everything? So strange!

No.  I didn't really think about it until she was out the door.  It was sort of in the back of my mind the entire time he was there that his mom might not be coming back. 

It was very strange. 

I am also starting to think (judging by her texts) that she has a bit of a learning disability and wasn't able to problem solve the situation very well. 

rubber_chicken

I feel like, 20-30 years ago, this kind of thing was very normal.  Kids were always getting dropped off at our house, even kids we didn't particularly know well. And I remember having "playdates" at random kids houses as well.

But it's not really like that anymore, and it is kind of weird that she didn't just come out and say "I know this is really random but can you watch my kid for an hour because i have an emergency". 

But hey, way to be part of the village.  I think life would be much easier if us parents leaned on each other more and didn't try to go it alone all the time.

2chatter

Some people just don't read social cues at all and don't know how to handle things.  A friend and I once hosted a playdate for a new neighbor.  It began at 10 AM.  We thought, couple hours, then we can feed the kids and do naps.  She stayed for lunch.  We dropped hints.  I finally went home later afternoon.  She stayed for dinner.  My friend's youngest fell asleep on the couch.  She finally said "you need to go home now" around 8 PM.  The mom of three had NO CLUE.  She was there the whole time.  We literally never spoke again. 

I wonder if you will continue to hear from this mom.

MommaP12

Are they poor?  My mind immediately went to her not being able to feed her child for some reason so trying to get a dinner for him.  

Mustardseed2007

I agree that it was really cool of you to have the kid stay. Who knows why-she could be really socially awkward, or she could be in some kind of weird/dangerous/in-need situation, so I just think it show how nice of a person you are!

*sparky*

I agree with @enigmaticdrscully.  It is obviously too late now but she may think it is now ok to just show up and drop her kid off with you.  I agree it was a very awkward situation and I am not sure what I would have done in the moment, but if she stops by again I would give her your number and suggest she call next time she wants to schedule some time for the kids to play.

It is really weird that she just showed up and that she left her child at your house when she barely knows you.

mcgeeva

Why on earth would she think it was okay to drop her kid off especially to someone she hasn't seen in that period of time. Unless it was an emergency I don't get it. But I can tell you if it was me..that would NEVER HAPPEN again. I have no family around me and still unless it was an emergency I would never leave my kid at someone's home. Anyone for that matter. 

SunAndRain

Why not just call her and basically say that the kids had fun playing together and her child was delightful.  However, would it be OK with her if future play dates were planned in the future?  I've found that my normal is often not another parent's normal.  And while I, too, would classify her behavior as odd at best, maybe there is a way to make this a positive experience for everyone in the future.

And I agree with PP: you were far more gracious than I would probably have been!

SunAndRain

Also, maybe if you approach her like that then she will offer up an explanation.  Inquiring minds want to know!

alli2672

SunAndRain said:

Why not just call her and basically say that the kids had fun playing together and her child was delightful.  However, would it be OK with her if future play dates were planned in the future?  I've found that my normal is often not another parent's normal.  And while I, too, would classify her behavior as odd at best, maybe there is a way to make this a positive experience for everyone in the future.

And I agree with PP: you were far more gracious than I would probably have been!

  I did respond to her text.  I was actually a little more blunt, and told her that I was very surprised to see her, and she scared me when she started banging on my door after dark, and now that she has my number, she needs to text if she is going to come over. 

She said that she could tell from the look on my face that I was surprised.   

I will keep you updated if I ever figure out what it was all about   

(and I am not that nice, really.) 

bumpuser10331514

I'm concerned in a hundred different ways, but tend to give the mom the benefit of the doubt (which usually results in me being very wrong about people). My biggest concern is that she would drop her son off somewhere with someone he (apparently) hardly knows. That could be traumatizing for the kid as well as knowing whatever he knows about where his mom went. I would see them again and talk to the son to make sure he's ok.

potbellypig

Such a strange situation for sure. Concerning, yes. A little rude, yes. Probably not something you want to have occur on a regular basis. Maybe ask her what the deal was?

On the other hand - she may not have a lot of social supports and may have had a situation that required immediate attention without children present (I'm thinking - fight with partner/spouse that needs to be talked out without kids in the room, ER visit for embarrassing reason (STD flare up, possible pregnancy, etc), therapy visit...

Cambury108

I don't go here but was lurking your board. I just wanted to chime in. I had a similar experience happen to me when my son was around 7 so about 2 years ago.

Backstory: This little boy lived in our school district but not our neighborhood. The boys played at school and were good friends there. He attended 1 birthday party and then never came over again. 

About 8 months after the birthday party, it was summer and school had just got out so like the end of May/start of June. It was about 5pm and they just showed up at my door. Mom was like "oh my DS was talking about your DS and we just dropped by" I invited them in and after about 10 mins she said she had to go but the boys were having a good time playing could her son stay? I didn't know what to say so I said yes because I was kind of taken aback by the whole thing. 

Dinner time came so I fed him, the whole time he was eating I was terrified I would give him something he had an allergy to. It was a total of about 2.5 hours he was at my house. Sweetest little boy EVER! During that time he told me how his house was "black" they had no lights. That sometimes his tummy hurt because the fridge was empty. When she came back we exchanged phone numbers and I told her that I was concerned because of what he had shared. Long story short the dad had left them and she was doing her best but was obviously falling short. I still to this day do not know where she went for those 2.5 hours. But I did contact our local child support services about the situation. My son still goes to school with the little boy. They have not played together since. I think the mom was embarrassed that her son told me, or maybe she was mad I called help for him? 

So reading your story made me sad, because it sounds like maybe he needs help and is just not as outspoken as the little boy in my situation. I hope its not the case. 

I just felt the need to share and let you know that weird things have happened to us as well.OP no matter if you think your nice or not it was a nice thing you did and you could have potentially filled an otherwise empty belly that night.