AW: T&Ps...would you be upset??

cabinchick

So I told my hubby I didn't want anyone else to know our news just yet - Some people came over last night and I specifically asked him not to spill the beans, to which he agreed.

To further complicate things, this is our first, we were not supposed to be able to get pregnant. We had an early dating U/S (and before I get blasted for requesting that, it was an insurance issue - and doc agreed with our concerns), which did not go well. The sac is measuring a week early so it is either an earlier pregnancy (unlikely because I was using OPKs and know when I ovulated), or a non-viable pregnancy - 6w2d no cardiac activity no fetal pole.

Because of that news, I especially didn't want people to know, especially the "friends of friends" that were over last night! Well, DH gets wasted (fine, no issues with that), and then makes a big huge production when asked why we are moving off the property. He loudly proclaims what an awful house the barn is for children, and points out that I'm not drinking. It was a bonfire, and no one picked that up until he said it. I was mortified, and so very angry. We barely know these people, and the rest of the night I got to hear how horrible pregnancy and children are. Maybe I'm overly sensitive with everything right now - but I woke up still angry hopefully ya'll don't think I'm a terrible wife now, but do I have the right to be upset?

foodie12rn

I would be absolutely pissed at him. It sounds like the friends you were hanging out with are incredibly immature. I certainly wouldn't make a habit of spending time with them.

As for your u/s, I'm sorry you're stuck in limbo. Hopefully it was just early. Even though you were using OPKs, it's possible you had more than one surge. Did you temp as well? The only way you can know for sure when you O'd is confirmation with temp rise. Try to take care of yourself. I hope this next week goes by fast. What is your next step? Will you go back for a f/u?

cabinchick

They were friends of our neighbors - nice enough people, just DRUNK.

As for the u/s, I'm trying so hard not to be negative. I'm not sure what the next step is...besides this limbo I'm also in insurance limbo we switch plans Dec. 1st, and until then I'm only covered in another state so it's quite a hassel. On top of that, the OB I called put me with a PCP (flat out lied to me), so my insurance denied the visit and ultrasound claims from last week! I guess I'll stick it out until Dec, and get a local OB on my new plan (and confirm if the deductible resets in jan...because then I'll wait till jan) I have no spotting, and all normal symptoms from what other ladies post. I guess I'll adopt a watch and wait attitude!

ChristyM87

Not to excuse your husband, but OPKs aren't the most reliable way of predicting ovulation. They can detect after ovulation has already occurred, so unless you were also temping I would assume that they may not be accurate.

Here's hoping that your next ultrasound goes better

Emeraldeyed315

ChristyM87 said:

Not to excuse your husband, but OPKs aren't the most reliable way of predicting ovulation. They can detect after ovulation has already occurred, so unless you were also temping I would assume that they may not be accurate.

Here's hoping that your next ultrasound goes better

What she said. The only way I can tell for sure I O is temping. Opk are always wrong for me.

cabinchick

DH thinks he's fine because those people "don't matter". Don't think I'll be getting an apology we had a long talk because there are specific friends I don't want to know, particularly people who have told me other couples' news before it was made public. He better not do it again!

As for the OPKs that makes me feel better - the fertility doc I saw literally YELLED at me when I told him I'd used them a few times, but didn't think they were that accurate to justify the cost. He screamed and pitched a fit that they were the most accurate way to conceive and we're more than 95% accurate. So I can add that to the list of reasons I want to punch him in the face

OctoberStars

Errsbear11 said:

DH thinks he's fine because those people "don't matter". Don't think I'll be getting an apology we had a long talk because there are specific friends I don't want to know, particularly people who have told me other couples' news before it was made public. He better not do it again! As for the OPKs that makes me feel better - the fertility doc I saw literally YELLED at me when I told him I'd used them a few times, but didn't think they were that accurate to justify the cost. He screamed and pitched a fit that they were the most accurate way to conceive and we're more than 95% accurate. So I can add that to the list of reasons I want to punch him in the face

Um, that's horrible.  I'd be pissed.  Also, FX that everything catches up and your embryo is fine, but if a mc were to happen, it's the people who "don't matter" that make the most awkward conversations for why you aren't pregnant anymore.  I'm really not looking forward to our General Contractor finding out that I'm not hugely pregnant next time he sees us.  He told us he'd be done with our HVAC in January (this was back in July) and we told him that it couldn't drag on since I was due in March.  Well, I'm not going to look very pregnant come January and I sincerely hope I don't have to explain to this guy what happened.

Good luck!  I hope you husband stops acting like an ass when he's drunk!  Maybe he should get on The Bump so has a group to talk to about this stuff I know I'd be going crazy without all you ladies to vent to since I'm not telling a soul for a while.