~ Loss Check-In ~

CherryPicked

Hi ladies, I hope you have been kind to yourselves this week.  I'm so sorry that I am posting this a few days late!  I went out of town and forgot to post it ahead of time!  

Welcome to the check-in! I am sorry to have to welcome new loss moms this week but am so glad that you have found us. I hope we can bring each other some much needed comfort and support. Please feel free to join in when you are ready and share as much or as little as you wish. Also, if you have any questions you would like answered, just ask! Any lurkers out there please don't be shy, we would like to be able to support you too. 

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? 

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? 

QOTW: What are your Thanksgiving plans?  Will it be a difficult day for you?  If so, what will help you through the day?

mrslucid

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?
I went back to a counselor I had seen in the past which was really helpful.  We also did a 5K walk on Saturday.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?
Just trying to get through the end of the year.  With Thanksgiving, Christmas coming up, my first without Ava and also her birthday next month I don't know how I'll handle it all.

QOTW: What are your Thanksgiving plans?  Will it be a difficult day for you?  If so, what will help you through the day?
We are going to my sister-in-laws for the long weekend.  We are doing the Turkey Trot walk Thanksgiving morning and going to see Mockingjay with them later that day. We are doing a non-traditional dinner,

CC1017

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? 

I went to see a therapist that specializes in pregnancy loss. Her doctoral research focused on the impact of difficult births and pregnancy loss on a woman's self image, so I'm hoping she will be able to help guide me through this process. 

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? 

 Everything is still so raw, I'm just taking it one day at a time. I haven't really thought about goals or plans. 

QOTW: What are your Thanksgiving plans? Will it be a difficult day for you? If so, what will help you through the day?

We are having dinner at home. We had planned a small gathering with just our parents, so I'm hoping it won't be too bad. 

I do have a question for you ladies. Right now I'm stressing over something silly - my christmas cards. Should I sign my daughter's name? Should I honor her in some way on the card? What do you do?

 eta: fixed my formatting

CherryPicked

@CC1017 At support group last week we talked a little about Christmas cards. Whatever you think is best will be perfect but an idea that I thought was nice was to add something about a charity where donations can be made in your child's name. That way their name is still on there if you don't feel right signing their name on it directly. Just an idea!

lexusolsen

Sometimes we sign ds' name, sometimes we don't. If we don't, we sign it "The last name family" so that we feel he is included. We will do a picture card with dd and our "Ben" Bear. I don't think we will sign individual names.

Littleowl913

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? 

I went to see the high risk doctor in my group for a what happened and what do we need to do to move forward with TTC again meeting. He urged me to see a therapist (especially since I plan on TTC again) and gave me a card of a woman who specialized in pregnancy loss. He convinced me to go but I haven't picked up the phone yet.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? Making the appointment with the therapist.

QOTW: What are your Thanksgiving plans?  Will it be a difficult day for you?  If so, what will help you through the day? Thanksgiving is at my parents house. My aunt and uncle are visiting from overseas and this is the first time I've seen them since my losses. I'm sure they'll want to sit down and talk about all that has happened. While I don't mind talking about everything, I'd rather not be a sobby mess at Thanksgiving.

shandorfml2

****siggy warning

Just wanted to give everyone (((hugs)) and let you know I will be thinking of you and all our angels on Thanksgiving.

CherryPicked

@mrslucid - Lots of hugs being sent your way.  It is my first holiday season without my daughter too and I don't know how to survive it.  

@flutterfly88 - It's great that you are journaling!  Writing about my daughter and my grief has been so helpful and healing for me.  Grief is hard work and I'm glad to hear that you have found a good way to process your feelings.  I hope that easing back into work continues to go well.  ((hugs))

@Tthgirl - The initial ornaments sound lovely.  What a great way to include the twins in your traditions.

@Littleowl913 - That's great that there is a therapist in your area who specializes in pregnancy loss.  I hope that you find it helpful.

@Happyin14 - I can relate to finding it hard to be grateful.  I am grateful for my daughter but in so much pain without her.  

@shandorfml2 - Thank you for the hugs!  I definitely need them this week.

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? 

I went to support group and made plans to meet another loss mom for dinner.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? 

My next goal is to set up Caroline's tree.  We bought a small Christmas tree and plan on putting all of her ornaments on it.  We plan on doing this for Caroline every year on Thanksgiving.

QOTW: What are your Thanksgiving plans?  Will it be a difficult day for you?  If so, what will help you through the day? 

Me and DH are going to Cracker Barrel for dinner and spending the day at home.  My heart already aches to not have Caroline with us for Thanksgiving so it will definitely be a difficult day.

stefuge

@CC1017‌ - signing cards and such is so hard, and seems like such a small thing, but it is still painful. We usually don't list Colton's name, but instead I draw a small heart after listing all of out names (got this idea from a mom on here, actually, although I can't remember who suggested it). I know that this represents Colton, and that way I still feel he is included, and many of our close friends and family know that that represents him as well, and it works for us. I think, like most things, this is a personal decision and you have to go with whatever works for you.

Last year for Christmas cards (our first Christmas without Colton) I decided I didn't want to do the normal cards, and instead just sent a simple card to close friends and family with a photo of our family and a special "remembering Colton this Christmas" photo that I ordered from Carly Marie's website. This year I am planning to do more traditional cards and I do think we will include our Colton bear in our family photo this year.