How long did it take your LO to adjust to daycare?

laurenlalap

LO starts daycare next month and I'm feeling sick about it. I'm back to work F/T and I'm worried he's going to be miserable and scared all day. He has very bad stranger anxiety. He only likes DH and myself. Even if someone else looks at him or says Hi to him he melts. He cries hysterically and inconsolably. 

There are 3 teachers in his class and 9 other kids, ranging from 3 months - 18 months. I'm really worried about his adjustment, especially since we see my parents ALL the time and he is still not used to them. It takes him a GOOD hour to warm up to them, and  that's with me or DH there. If we leave him with my parents he just cries the whole time.

shakinros

I'm on mobile so can't see siggies. How old is he?

laurenlalap

shakinros said:

I'm on mobile so can't see siggies. How old is he?

He'll be a year when he goes back

shakinros

Ok well it may take awhile. Several weeks at least for him to stop crying at dropoff. Know that he'll probably stop crying shortly after you leave - it's not like it's going on all day. Remember that the daycare teachers are professionals. They've dealt with this before and can handle helping him figure out the new situation.

My kid started daycare at 4 mos old and never cried at dropoff ever (she was used to it by the time she knew what was going on, I guess). We moved at 18mos and switched DC providers. That was tough on both of us because she cried at dropoff for 5-6 weeks. She's fine now. Loves it, talks about her teacher and friends, and seems disappointed when I say "no school today!"

74dragonfly

My son just started at age 11 months. I eased him into it by bringing him a few hour's and wworking up to full day. This helped a lot. Maybe try that.

NADA-H

my baby started DC at 2 months and she was very young, just about to start telling people apart (she'd cry when a complete stranger holds her if she isn't comfortable but was fine with me, my DH, my mom, and my mom's FT maid)

it took her about 3-4 days to adjust, she wasn't crying or fussing but she wasn't napping well and not eating very well due to the change and then 3-4 days in she was eating all her BF that I'd send and taking 3, 1 hour naps and was very excited and happy while there (I'd check on her)

I think the older it gets the harder it is but your child will adjust faster than you think he will, I think it's harder on us moms than it is on kids. You can try working up to a full day as other PPs suggested but I wouldn't make the transition very long just so that your kid gets used to this being the new routine 

emberlee3

DD was about 11 months when she started daycare.  She had really bad stranger anxiety and was only ok with me, DH, or the nanny.  If grandparents tried to watch her, she screamed the entire time and refused to eat/drink bottles.  I knew daycare was going to be hard.  She took a week or two to adjust.  Her teacher was the bomb.  She basically held DD all day, even for naps (which, of course, lasted for only moments).  DD refused bottles at first.  Her teacher called me to ask for ideas.  I suggested she sing DD's favorite song while feeding her.  That helped.  After about 2 weeks, she had adjusted and LOVED daycare.

MickeyM04

It may take awhile at that age.  Honestly I think the younger they start DC the better, because at 3 months, my DD did not know what was going on, and did not care.  And now at almost 7 months, this is her normal and we have no issues.  Same when DS started at his first DC at 3 months.  That being said, DS had a nanny for awhile and then we had to start sending him again just shy of 2.  It took a good 5 weeks before we had a drop off without crying, and another couple weeks on top of that before we went a whole week without tears.  Your LO is a bit younger, so I would probably give it a good 2-3 weeks.  But definitely don't worry if it takes longer.  It took us almost 2 months before DS was happy to be there every day.  Even after 5 weeks, he literally had one drop off without crying, and then went back to crying again the following day.

And the first thing he said to me when I woke up this morning, was:  "I go to school today?  I see friends today?"

vvvvvfee

agree with PPs that it might be a bit of an adjustment at this age. DS was fine when he started at DC at 12 weeks, but we had to switch him at 15 months, and it took several weeks for him to feel comfortable there. if possible, can you send your LO for half days for several days in order to ease into it? also agree that they will only be crying for a few minutes after you leave. when DS switched at 15 months, we left extra time so we could stay there with him for 10 minutes or so for comfort before we had to leave. the DCPs were great about trying to engage him with something to do to distract him so we could leave more easily.

GL!

momofcatan

DD started at 11 months. She was exactly like that you are describing, except she was not a fan of even DH. Hated strangers, cried when left with grandparents even though she saw them weekly. Even with all that, she cried at drop off for only 2 weeks (after 1 week DH could hear her stop crying before he even left). I think it helped that she was the "baby" at DC and the main teacher was happy to hold her as much as she wanted and create a bond with her until she was ready to go explore on her own.