I need to talk..do I believe in things meant (or not meant) to be? — The Bump
Infertility Veterans

I need to talk..do I believe in things meant (or not meant) to be?

Recap: after 4 Ivfs without success and still unexplained, it was advised by the RE I trust most to try DE. For those of you who 'know' me, I've had a really hard time making this decision. It came down to money unfortunately. We cannot afford more Ivfs with OE and then move to DE if no success. I've been slowing wading in the waters of DE. Browsing the donor sites, gathering info, doing consults with DE agencies. From the first website I was ever browsing (almost a year ago now!), there was a young lady I kept going back to. I met with her agency today and mentioned that she was my fave so far. She's a 5 time donor with 4/5 success rate as well as a child of her own. I was told if I chose her that this would have to be her last donation (max. Of 6 times allowed). Well, the donor agency got in touch with her today and she says she'd love to donate, but she's getting married and moving on feb 1. She would do a January ER, which means she needs to be on bcps by Monday. My head is spinning. Is this meant to be and giving me the much needed push I need to move forward? Is this a sign that it wasn't meant to be and I should keep looking and thinking? I don't even believe in signs but I don't know what to do! DH is also on the fence about 'rushing' ..but is it rushing if it's been a year now? Help me think this through!
Me: 37, DH: 38: ttc 7 years, dx: unknown
10/11: after 2 years, saw a RE, FSH 5.4
11/11: BFP! (surprise after thyroid & normal hsg),
12/11: missed m/c after 7 week u/s, 1/12: D&C
6/12 IUI#1-IUI #3: clomid = BFP!, C/P
IVF #1(10/12) FSH 5.4, AFC: 16 long Lupron, 5R/5M/4F, all 4 made it to 5dt, 1 blast/1-8 cell transferred=BFN
IVF #2(12/12)AFC 21, MD lupron, 4R/4M/3F, 5dt of 1 blast and 2-8cell. BFN.
IVF#3(4/13) Natural start antagon protocol, 12R,11F. one PGS normal at day 6 transfer. BFN.
IVF#4 (11/13) C.CRM (ODW.U normal 8/13 Still no Diagnosis) EPP/antagonist. ER 13R/7M/6F. Only 1 made it to freeze. Abnormal. Looking into options of DE, Fresh vs frozen.
10/14 new local RE to look into what's next. CD3 FSH 4.7, AMH 0.9. Met with DE agencies and exploring options for feb/march 2015.
Surprise natural bfp (4 days before donor is signed). Beta #1 at 9dpo: 51.8, 2nd beta: 195 (25 hours doubling) @11dpo. 3rd beta (12/15): 516 (35 hrs doubling) 4th beta(12/17): 895 (58 hours doubling) 5th beta(12/19): 2120. U/S at 5w0d(12/22): one gestational sac with yolk sac. U/S #2 (6w0d)12/29. One little bean measuring 6w0d with HR 124. 3rd u/s(1/4)7w0d: baby measuring 7w2d. HR 134. 3/30: A/S at MFM went great except for low lying placenta. Verifi results are normal! Team Blue! Please send any positive thoughts our way! EDD:8/24/2015
Baby Will born 8/18. He's perfect.
ronniesgirl1981

Re: I need to talk..do I believe in things meant (or not meant) to be?

  • Wow this is a tough call. I personally know I'm a rusher and know I'd do it. But if you haven't 100% committed to DE maybe you shouldn't rush and have regrets....but then what if you do decide DE and miss the donor you really like.....ok I'm talking in circles with you. Such a big decision!

     


    imageimageimageimage

     
     

    *******siggy/ticker warning***** 

     Me(31). DH (31)

    DH SA normal count and motility, 1% morphology
    Me .72 AMH, Fragile X premutation carrier
    IVF #1 (6/12/13) BFN

    IVF #2 (8/16/13) BFN

    FET 10/4/13 Chemical

    IVF #3 MC 5 weeks 5 days

    IVF #4 DE 11/7 BFP, edd 7/28/15

    All Welcome

    BabyFruit Ticker

    J&D2007
  • zazu13zazu13 member
    250 Answers 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary
    edited November 2014
    **saif** hope you don't mind if I weigh in

    I personally do believe in things meant to be, but that aside it seems like proceeding tentatively by having her get on BC would be an option. Unless there's unrefundable money at stake or something you could always change your mind if you had second thoughts later. It wouldnt be fair to waste her time if you were truly wishy washy but you sound like you know what you want to do. If you've repeatedly gone back to this donor, there's probably a reason. Good luck deciding. I hope the right choice becomes clear to you!

    Age: 35 TTC since 2005, MFI & DOR 

    IVF #1 Sep '11 - canceled poor response

     IVF #2 Nov '11  8R/8M/4F 3dt x2 - chemical

    IVF #3 April '12  11R/6M/4F 3dt x2 - m/c

    FET #1 Aug 2012  3dt x2 - BFN

    **new RE**

     IVF #4 Jan '13 BFN 11R/6M/6F 5dt x2 - BFN

     IVF #5 July '13 16R/10M/10F 5dt x2 + 1 frostie

    9dp5dt Beta 1 = 344!! 16dp5dt. Beta 2 = 4822 7wk u/s= 2 heartbeats!

    Twin girls! 3/6/14

     

    J&D2007
  • Lol @sorrellam! That cracked me up! But that's what my thoughts are like for sure! And thanks Zazu for your input. There is a pretty big deposit that'd be at stake. I really wouldn't want to put her in limbo by thinking on it more. I need to firmly decide!
    Me: 37, DH: 38: ttc 7 years, dx: unknown
    10/11: after 2 years, saw a RE, FSH 5.4
    11/11: BFP! (surprise after thyroid & normal hsg),
    12/11: missed m/c after 7 week u/s, 1/12: D&C
    6/12 IUI#1-IUI #3: clomid = BFP!, C/P
    IVF #1(10/12) FSH 5.4, AFC: 16 long Lupron, 5R/5M/4F, all 4 made it to 5dt, 1 blast/1-8 cell transferred=BFN
    IVF #2(12/12)AFC 21, MD lupron, 4R/4M/3F, 5dt of 1 blast and 2-8cell. BFN.
    IVF#3(4/13) Natural start antagon protocol, 12R,11F. one PGS normal at day 6 transfer. BFN.
    IVF#4 (11/13) C.CRM (ODW.U normal 8/13 Still no Diagnosis) EPP/antagonist. ER 13R/7M/6F. Only 1 made it to freeze. Abnormal. Looking into options of DE, Fresh vs frozen.
    10/14 new local RE to look into what's next. CD3 FSH 4.7, AMH 0.9. Met with DE agencies and exploring options for feb/march 2015.
    Surprise natural bfp (4 days before donor is signed). Beta #1 at 9dpo: 51.8, 2nd beta: 195 (25 hours doubling) @11dpo. 3rd beta (12/15): 516 (35 hrs doubling) 4th beta(12/17): 895 (58 hours doubling) 5th beta(12/19): 2120. U/S at 5w0d(12/22): one gestational sac with yolk sac. U/S #2 (6w0d)12/29. One little bean measuring 6w0d with HR 124. 3rd u/s(1/4)7w0d: baby measuring 7w2d. HR 134. 3/30: A/S at MFM went great except for low lying placenta. Verifi results are normal! Team Blue! Please send any positive thoughts our way! EDD:8/24/2015
    Baby Will born 8/18. He's perfect.
  • I would go ahead with her. One of my biggest regrets for ivf 2 was that we didn't get the donor we wanted and things were a disaster. It seems you are going down the de road and this makes your decision for sure.
    6 m/c
    Anovulatory cycles, increased Synthroid Diagnosed Sep 2010
    Natural cycle Dec 2010 BFP M/C 6 1/2 Weeks, D&E Jan 2011
    1 Clomid/Ovidrel BFN May 2011
    Natural cycle Aug 2011 BFP M/C 4 Weeks
    1 IUI Sept 2011 BFP M/c 7 weeks
    Provera Dec 2011 BFP M/C 3 Weeks
    DQ ALPHA HLA MATCH, High NK Cells Diagnosed Dec 2011
    IVF March 2012 BFP m/c 4weeks 5 days (IL, Prednisone)
    IVF#2w/DS July 2012 MEGA FAILURE BFN (IL, Dexamethasone)
    Diagnosed No real HLA Match, DQ Beta Triad, High TNF, Low NK Cells
    Oct 2012 Natural Cycle m/c 4wks (Lovenox, Prednisone) 
    Went to Beer Center- high tnf, low lad, implantation failure
    Nov/Dec 2012 LIT Treatment
    Dec 12 Humira
    Jan 2013 BFP
    Humira,LIT,Prednisone, Lovenox, IVIG, Baby Aspirin
    Miracle Born August 2013 Premature

    Yours doesn't have to be a sad story



    image
    image


    Lilypie - (ugiy)


    J&D2007
  • My gut says go for it. She is a way proven donor and you keep coming back to her. I, too, feel like if we make the leap to DE, I will need a push. This is a push. You could have a baby by this time next year.
    Me: 34 | He: 40
    TTC since 08/2012
    DX: DOR




    J&D2007
  • Another thought is this- if you got pregnant using this donors eggs I don't think you'd be disappointed, whenever I finally get a baby I'm not going to look at it and be sad it doesn't have me genetics, I'm going to be psyched to finally have my baby. IF you think you would feel this way too I say go for the donor!!

     


    imageimageimageimage

     
     

    *******siggy/ticker warning***** 

     Me(31). DH (31)

    DH SA normal count and motility, 1% morphology
    Me .72 AMH, Fragile X premutation carrier
    IVF #1 (6/12/13) BFN

    IVF #2 (8/16/13) BFN

    FET 10/4/13 Chemical

    IVF #3 MC 5 weeks 5 days

    IVF #4 DE 11/7 BFP, edd 7/28/15

    All Welcome

    BabyFruit Ticker

    ronniesgirl1981
  • PAIF response

     

     

    Go with your gut. Always! For our last IVF, there was nothing saying we should go for it. DH lost his job a month before we were supposed to start stims and we really needed the money in our savings. However, our guts said to just go for it. I'm so glad we did.

    If you've been going back to the same person for a year, thinking this is the one, your heart is trying to lead you in the right direction! Sometimes, we spend too much time listening to our brain's logic and we miss what our hearts are saying we really should be doing. I say go for it! I'll bet if there wasn't a time limit on her, you'd just keep going back to her and thinking about it, right? This could be the push you need to finally make your decision!!

    BabyFruit Ticker

     ttc #2 since 2004 Me (35): Stage 3 Endo, DH (34): High DNA Frag

    IVF/ICSI #2: April 2014: BFP!!!!!!

    ET of 2 great quality embryos. + BFP on 9dp5dt. Beta #1 (10dp5dt): 257, Beta #2 (14dp5dt): 1561,

    Beta #3 (21dp5d5): 8,172. Wow. It seems this is actually working. Shocked beyond belief.

    1st u/s @6w5d: Baby A hb 124, Baby B hb 127 (Both measuring perfectly!)

    Lost baby A. Praying that baby B stays healthy. Baby B hb 175 at 11 weeks

    It's a GIRL!!!

    imageimageimage

     

     

    My Blog

    zazu13
  • chills... trust your gut! Go, go, go!!!
    **SIGGY WARNING**

    Me: 32 DH: 35  TTC#1 since March 2012
    Dx: Poor Embryo Quality, Arcuate Uterus, Poor Uterine Blood Flow, Mild Endo, 
           Protein S Deficiency, Sjorgen's Syndrome 

    IUI #1-5: BFN
    Laparoscopy & Hysteroscopy: minimal endo, partial septoplasty
    IVF #1: 10R/6M/6F ~ Day 3 ET = BFN
    IVF #2: 14R/9M/5F ~ transfer canceled ~ all embryos arrested at 1-2 cell stage
    IVF #3: 9R/5M/5F ~ 1 frosty!
    IVF #4 (FET #1): BFN

    IVF #5 (DE IVF #1 with Dr. KK protocol): Currently PREGNANT!!!!!!
    Synthroid + Prednisone + Metformin + Baby Aspirin + Supplements Galore = 15+ pills a day
    Lupron + Lovenox + Delestrogen + IVIG + B/W = 2-5 pokes a day
    19R, 17M, 17F - transferred two Grade A blasts 11/16, four frosties!!!
    Beta #1 11/24 (13dpo/8dp5dt) = 367 ~ Beta #2 11/26 (15dpo/10dp5dt) = 709
    Beta #3 11/29 (18dpo/13dp5dt) = 1,997 ~ Beta #4 12/1 (20dpo/15dp5dt) = 3,403

    imageimageimage

    My Blog: Running and Dreaming for Two ~ All are Welcome!
  • edited November 2014
    *****PAIF

    Count me in the "Go For It" camp. Her stats are solid & something has always drawn you to her profile. I wish you the best of luck with whatever you choose.

    Me & DH (33), 3 Furbabies, TTC since October 2011
    Day 3 #’s (Dec 2012) FSH 9, AMH .77, LH 2.4, E2 31, AFC 9 

    DX: Me-DOR + No Tubes, DH-Fine

    Ectopic 2007; lost tube/2nd tube removed Dec 2011 (hydro)

    April 2012=IVF#1- EPP Antag+ICSI, 2R,0F (BFN), Now dx’d with DOR.

    June-July 2012=IVF#2- MDL+ICSI&AH, 8R,4M,3F (BFP 9dp3dt) Beta#1 at 11dp3dt=36, Beta#2 at 15dp3dt=156, Beta#3 at 19dp3dt=671, dx'd with SCH, no growth-m/c at 7wks/Lap Dec 2012 to remove small fibroid.

    Feb 2013=IVF#3-MDL, 2/1=baseline, started 10 units mdl, AFC-7, 2/3 start gonal f, self cxld cycle b/c of low e2.

    April 2013=IVF#3.5-(with new RE)AG/ANT Conv + ICSI. 4/10-4/23 bcp's, 4/20-4/27 lupron, 4/28-ganirelix until end of stimming, 5/2-600 gonal f, 5/4-add 1/2 vial menopur, 5/13-ER (9R,1M,1F), 5/17-ET, 1 beautiful 8 cell (please be my sticky baby!!!!) 5/28-BFFN.

    Oct 2013=IVF#4-LLP+ICSI &AH, 10/14 (6R, 2M, 2F), 10/17-ET, 1 seven cell & a six cell, BFP at 9dp3dt, 1st beta=56, 2nd beta=52, CP.

    Jan 2014=IVF #5-LLP, Cxld after 6 days of stims due to fast response and lead follicle. 

    March 2014=IVF 5.5-LLP, Lupron 3/10, BL 3/18, 11 days of stims, Trigger 3/29, ER 3/31. 7R, 2M, 2F. ET 4/3. Txfd one 5 cell & one 9 cell. BFP on hpt from 7dp3dt & on. Praise be to God. Beta #1 at 11dp3dt=106, #2 at 13dp3dt=239. First u/s 4/28, measuring on track & heartbeat seen. 5/5-2nd u/s, measuring on track with strong heartbeat. 5/12- 3rd u/s & released from RE. Grow baby grow, we love you! Baby G&T is a BOY! Born 12/2014 via c/s! 8lbs, 8oz & 21 inches.


     *******Ticker Warning**********

     


    Lilypie First Birthday tickers

     


    "God's Delay is not God's Denial"
  • Against popular advice, I told the agency that I didn't want to rush and to let this donor go. Two reasons: first, she is moving to CA. Which means a second cycle with her if we were successful and wanted a sibling would be very difficult if not impossible. And, second, I think I am so drawn to her profile because she is very beautiful and exotic looking (what I WISHED I looked like not WHAT I look like). When the final decision came and I ignored her picture, the profile wasn't perfect for us. I don't know that there will be a 'perfect' in the end, so I hope we didn't screw up. Thank you all so much for the advice. I appreciate your responses.
    Me: 37, DH: 38: ttc 7 years, dx: unknown
    10/11: after 2 years, saw a RE, FSH 5.4
    11/11: BFP! (surprise after thyroid & normal hsg),
    12/11: missed m/c after 7 week u/s, 1/12: D&C
    6/12 IUI#1-IUI #3: clomid = BFP!, C/P
    IVF #1(10/12) FSH 5.4, AFC: 16 long Lupron, 5R/5M/4F, all 4 made it to 5dt, 1 blast/1-8 cell transferred=BFN
    IVF #2(12/12)AFC 21, MD lupron, 4R/4M/3F, 5dt of 1 blast and 2-8cell. BFN.
    IVF#3(4/13) Natural start antagon protocol, 12R,11F. one PGS normal at day 6 transfer. BFN.
    IVF#4 (11/13) C.CRM (ODW.U normal 8/13 Still no Diagnosis) EPP/antagonist. ER 13R/7M/6F. Only 1 made it to freeze. Abnormal. Looking into options of DE, Fresh vs frozen.
    10/14 new local RE to look into what's next. CD3 FSH 4.7, AMH 0.9. Met with DE agencies and exploring options for feb/march 2015.
    Surprise natural bfp (4 days before donor is signed). Beta #1 at 9dpo: 51.8, 2nd beta: 195 (25 hours doubling) @11dpo. 3rd beta (12/15): 516 (35 hrs doubling) 4th beta(12/17): 895 (58 hours doubling) 5th beta(12/19): 2120. U/S at 5w0d(12/22): one gestational sac with yolk sac. U/S #2 (6w0d)12/29. One little bean measuring 6w0d with HR 124. 3rd u/s(1/4)7w0d: baby measuring 7w2d. HR 134. 3/30: A/S at MFM went great except for low lying placenta. Verifi results are normal! Team Blue! Please send any positive thoughts our way! EDD:8/24/2015
    Baby Will born 8/18. He's perfect.
    ronniesgirl1981zazu13chucktgirl
  • @J&;D2007 It sounds like you went with your gut. Whenever you do that you cannot be wrong.
    Me: 34 | He: 40
    TTC since 08/2012
    DX: DOR




    J&D2007
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards