Sleep "training" for twins

sasky

I know, it's a loaded topic. Any recommendations on books or techniques I should look into for multiples? I'm having trouble wrapping my mind around the logistics with 2 babies in one room. Maybe because I'm so damn tired!

pillowass

We used Ferber, started between 5-6 months, kept them in the same room, and relied on the baby monitor in making our determination of when/whether to go in their room. We found that they really could sleep through each other's crying. The hard part was that the fact that going into soothe one would cause the other to wake up and then we'd start all over again. In the end we let them cry way more than we would have if there had been only one, but the important thing is that it worked and it only took a few weeks and they sleep beautifully now. Definitely worth it since I was becoming an angry monster from all the sleep deprivation! Good luck. 

kefttsc

We are reading 12 hours by 12 weeks and they have a lot of information addressing twins. I'm only 28 weeks, so haven't tried anything yet, but j consider all the information I can get to be great. We want to gather all the techniques we can at this point and then we will see what works for us and our two.

mylittleladies1229

I listened to these webinars when my girls were small: 

You can learn the basics of sleep and there is one that is made for multiples sleep.  I took sleep very seriously and my girls have always been really great nappers and sleep well at night.  We have bumps here and there, but overall I can't complain.  (They are 2 years old now).

twinmom1121

I read "healthy sleep habits, happy twins" and there were a few different methods in there to try instead of just cry it out. I am still having issues with my twins at 12 months with sleeping but I think I was just not consistent enough when we were sleep training. We didn't start until about 6 months.

PGwithNo3

Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Twins. I made a huge deal about the morning and was very subdued and quiet at night.  My twins didn't STTN until 5 months.  But, they are great sleepers still (5 y/o).  bedtime is still 6:30pm (on no nap days), 7pm on nap days (they are few & far between).  My son sleeps until 7am and my daughter is an early bird and rises when I shower (5:30).

TREDgirl

We started ours at around 5 months as well. Changing up their feeding schedule during the day was the key to working for us. It ensured they took enough calories in during the waking hours so they truly weren't waking during the night for food. 

It took 2 weeks of off and on crying during the night but being consistent really is important. Now they are 13 months and unless something is going on (teething, sickness, constipation) they sleep for 12 hours straight. And through each others fussiness. 

Good luck! 

zazu13

I separated mine for sleep training (one in the spare bedroom in a pack n play.) They were 5.5 months. It took 3 nights with stepped soothing. They slept separate for about 2 months (both were still waking to eat until about 7 months) and we have just recently started putting them back together. They usually sleep 12 hours. Since their naps are not always in sync I often still separate for naps.

sasky

12 hours OMG! I can't even imagine. Mine are consistently up every 3 hours. If we get 4 it's a miracle. Last night they slept from 12-4 and it was so refreshing!

Consistency is definitely my downfall, especially when I'm so tired. But I'm going to try my best! We're also just starting solid foods, so I'm hoping that helps some.

Another issue is that our 4-year-old is in the next room over, so I'm worried that all the crying will wake him. But hopefully that would only be temporary, and it's for the best in the long run. I'm going to pick up that book, thanks guys.

BeesKnees181

Our girls didn't start to STTN until they were around 4 months.  Before that they started to sleep 4 hour stretches once they were able to drink 4 ounces.  It seemed that 4 ounce mark made a huge difference in their sleep pattern.  At 5 months, we put them in their separate cribs in their shared bedroom.  Before that they were in separate RNP's.  Our pedi suggested starting to put them down drowsy but not asleep at 4 months, as well.  She said to let them fuss or cry for 10-15 minutes and only go in to give them their pacifier.  I was not ready for that transition at 4 months.  But by 5 months, they were starting to fall asleep on their own and soon after we were letting them fuss for that 10-15 minute stretch.  We started a bedtime routine early on (2 months) and have stuck with it (bath/wipe down, fresh pajamas, cuddles, bottle, then bed).  That makes a difference; the girls know that after bath time they get a bottle and then it is time for bed. 

Our 6 month routine -

We do dinner (rice cereal and veggie) at about 5:30/6 p.m., play time, (depending on how their two naps went during the day they may need a 30-45 minute nap after eating), baths at 7 p.m. followed by a bottle and in bed no later than 8:30 p.m.  I prefer them to be in bed by 8 p.m.  We do the 2,3,4 nap schedule, but we try to never put them to bed before 7 p.m.  They sleep until 7-7:30 a.m.; sometimes they will get up at 5 a.m. and then go back to sleep after a diaper change and bottle.  (They also take a morning and afternoon nap.)

BeesKnees181

P.S.  One will sleep while the other fusses; they are used to each other's noises.

legaleagles

Mine are 6.5 months. They are in the same room at night (usually separated for naps). They put themselves to sleep at night, but can't self soothe when they wake up in the MOTN and they are still waking each other up - one of my boys has the shrillest, loudest cry, nobody can sleep through it. Right now we're weaning MOTN feeds. We are down to 1 3oz bottle - going down to 2 oz tomorrow night for a few days, then 1 next week and hopefully eliminate the bottle/feed very soon and then work on the self soothing. We're doing a combo of ferber (following his night weaning advice) and healthy sleep habits happy twins and will do some CIO. We're sending our toddler to my mom's for the first few nights so her sleep isn't interrupted.

We didn't Sleep train my daughter and she was 18 months old before she consistently STTN - that's not going to work. I'm hoping to have them STTN within the next few weeks.

Crawfish88

We ended up hiring a newborn care specialist, my husband thought I was crazy, but then agreed is was the best $$ spent! You can probably find some tips online from these specialists on their site. We kept them in the same room, we would actually let them nap together in one crib, then sleep in separate cribs at night. You'd be shocked how they can sleep through the other crying. I think they got used to all the crying being in the NICU. Also, do you have white noise for naptime and sleeping? It really helps soothe them, sometimes the louder the better! We've kept them on a tight schedule together, and made sure to stick to it. Then naptime, feedings and sleep just worked like clockwork. 

Jill R

*edited by mod*

steidla

Another for Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Twins.
My goal was to get them to sleep through "my" night, so 11-6 or so. I woke and fed them at 10/10:30pm for a long time, but it was worth it (always kept it dark & quiet). When I wanted them to start STTN, I started always trying the paci when they woke up in the middle of the night. If they took it, great. If not, I fed them. After a little while of this, they made it through. One first (~3 mos), then the other a couple of weeks after. Once I knew they were fine to go all night without eating, we let them cry it out, gradually, and we knew they were just crying for their pacis.

LaurenSara518

We sleep trained our boys (who shared our tiny NYC apt with us) when they hit 12lbs at our pediatrician's reco. They were only 10 weeks old. She is a twin mama too, and I am SOOOOOO glad I listened to her- my boys are now 2 and have been going 12 hours a night ever since. 3 nights of hard core CIO (it sucked) followed by 2 years of bliss- it's not for everyone, but it worked for us and my boys are healthy, happy and very loved. And I am well rested and happy too

LittleLady77

We did sleep training at 5.5-6 months. There are various techniques and strategies that range from CIO to no-cry methods.  The more intense the method you choose the faster and more efficient it is so it's up to you where you land on the topic.  Here is an article that outlines the most popular avenues: https://sleeplady.com/baby-sleep/sleep-training-methods-demystified/ 

Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Twins and Ferber were the books I read.  If can grab both I would do that but if I had to pick one I would recommend Ferber.  Understanding the science behind sleep was extremely helpful for me and that book is chalked full of it. 

My kids totally sleep though each other crying. 

auntjessy

@Sasky - How's everything going with the sleep training?  

For me, my goal wasn't to get them to SSTN, that's been happening naturally as they needed less calories less frequently.  It was just to get them to have healthy sleep habits and sleep associations so they could go to sleep when it was time without 2 hours of crying.  We did the Ferber method in Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Twins and it worked in 2 days.  We're at 7 months adjusted and for awhile they've been going in 6 hour stretches, then progressively longer.  My little girl has had 3 days this week where she's STTN - 13 hours straight - 6:30pm - 7:30am.  I think STTN will happen when it happens.  In the meantime, request Starbucks gift cards for Christmas.  

The best thing about sleep training has been easy naptimes.  I lay them down, tell them to have a good nap, give them their "Wubbies" and leave the room.  5 minutes tops, they're both asleep.  I DID separate them and put my son in a guest room.  

Let me just say, the crying is hard in sleep training - but it's even harder on them to not be able to go to sleep when they're tired.  The #1 thing for me was recognizing sleep cues and laying them down before they were overtired.  That book was a Godsend.  

JAck5209

This post is making me depressed. My girls are 9 months adjusted and never sleep through the night. One girl always wakes up at 2am and 5am to eat. We've gone through CIO so many times. She'll drop the 2am feeding for a day or two and start right back up again. She's so stubborn! We've increased their day time intake and are growing perfectly. I think she's just set in her ways. Sigh, maybe she'll STTN before college.

CaliCarly77

We did 12 hours by 12 weeks and it worked. (we started a bit late, as the book suggests, because the girls were small, so we had them sttn by 14 weeks) We adjusted it from 4 bottles to 5 bottles a day at 8, 11, 2, 5 and 8 and that worked best for us. I also swear by healthy sleep habits, happy twins, and I REALLY LOVE The Sleep Lady's good night sleep tight - there are hints and schedules through to now (almost 1) and beyond, while I felt like the 12 hours book kind of just dropped me off and then didn't tell me what to do next. I am still using the Sleep Lady's book for meal schedules and nap tips. 

We have the happiest babies, we never did any "cry it out" and they sleep 12 hours a night, and haven't had any regression and they are almost 1 now. I don't tell this to anyone in person or else I would be murdered. I am always so offended when people say "oh you have twins you must be so tired and sleep deprived" 

My best advice is to stick to a plan and make sure everyone else is on the same plan - especially in the middle of the night when it might be easier to give in than to stick to a plan. I also can't stress enough how the day routine/schedule REALLY DID make the night routine fall into place - WOW! 

kgs0505

Sorry if some of this is obvious, I am out of date here as I haven't been a regular in ages...

My best recommendation (and I read nothing...) - 

Make sure there is a definite bedtime routine.  The night time routine helps them associate that's it's time to sleep.  We did bottle, bath (every other night), pjs, teeth, and book.

If they are sharing a room, as mine did, I find that a lot of twin moms tends to rush into the room as soon as someone starts crying, assuming that they will wake the other baby.  I found this not to be true.  I would be more likely to wake the second baby if I went in there to console baby 1. So, I started to give the crying baby 10 minutes, unless it was a hysterical type crying, before going in.  9 times out of 10, it would be fine, the baby would go back to sleep, and that would be the end of it.   

Also, keep everything as dark as possible.  Be all business, not too much talking, or they will get too stimulated and think it's okay to play.

Good luck exhausted mama!  Hopefully one of the techniques will work for you.