AW: Can I get some opinions? Anyone's Dh using Viagra? Experiences please?

PinkCamino

Dh had a follow up with his GP today about blood in his urine. It's been an ongoing issue for about a year and today he was finally told that things are fine. So, that's amazing and I'm so so relieved.

A couple of hours before the appointment he asked me to go with him because he wanted to discuss his performance anxiety with his doc and wanted me to be there. For those of you who don't know, my Dh struggled with FW and it's been getting progressively worse since our last loss this past July.

So first, the doc knew nothing and I mean nothing about fertility. I asked him if he felt that EOD or ED sex was better and he told me to aim for CD8-CD20 to cover my basis. I know this is total bullshit so I didn't even bother saying anything.

But, most importantly we discussed Dhs issue and he gave him a bunch of free Viagra samples with a script to renew whenever we want.

So, does anyone have experience with this? If the issue is totally psychological will something like Viagra even help?

I've been doing some googling and it seems that viagra is only effective if the man is aroused so I'm struggling to understand how it's going to work out for us if arousal is the issue in the first place.

PinkCamino

mlal78 said:

Did you run out of the special "vitamins" I sent you? :P

I have absolutely no experience with it, I would just be concerned with difficulties ejaculating  on it.  Isn't it supposed to keep a long erection?

This is a really really good question. I have no idea.

The pills are 100 mg so I think we may cut them in 4. I've been reading reviews and some say that 25mg is enough.

Can I just share a review I found because well it's hilarious..

User Rating:

8.0

For Erectile Dysfunction: At 96 I use it when my wife will let me, if you know what I mean! I my age I will only buy 10 pills at a time. Don't want to leave any behind when I go! Works better before a meal or early in the morning. Have had headaches and loss of vision but I'm on my last lap any how.

buggirl72

(((Hugs))) love, I'm sorry the two of you are still struggling with this. I have no experience but is there any way he can get in to see a urologist? Or do you think your RE/MFM might have some insight?

My only other thought is since it appears that it might be psychologically related, maybe knowing he is taking something to help will help, KWIM?

EIsieMae

I have no experience with viagra, but I'm glad everything is okay with your husband:)

And that review was effing hilarious!

LizBlue

PC- we are struggling with this exact same problem. And, I literally had the thought yesterday about Viagra and wondering if it would help. I also wonder if it would help because my H's issue seems to be anxiety related and not physical. No answers here, but plenty of commiseration. I'll let you know if we go down that road and you do the same, ok? Good luck friend.

Rachaeleigh

I don't have any experience but I am glad that your husband is ok. I'm sorry that you guys are struggling with this

nikiswimr

Ok so we had the same thing happen to us on our first cycle of Clomid. It had happened to us every once in a while in the past but we always attributed it to a few too many drinks. But our first medicated cycle DH really stressed out and things spiraled from there. We ended up missing our FW and I wasn't thrilled because Clomid is not exactly low risk (which definitely didn't help things). It turned into such a mess that he just hit this complete standstill. It was all psychological because he still would wake up with a normal erection. He finally saw his MD and got a prescription for Viagra. The next Clomid cycle he had no issues. I never asked but looked at the bottle and he took a couple of pills but no more. I think maybe just having it and knowing it worked helped him psychologically? The bottle is still sitting half full in our cupboard. No issues since but we're hopefully about to start medicated cycles again, so who knows.

bookwormfnp

It will work but he needs to believe it will work. I am a FNP and have seen this happen before. It has really helped in experience I have seen.

bookwormfnp

Sorry about this very stressful time. I know that this is rough for him but you as well.

ctk181

My H also really struggles with performance anxiety. We tried Viagra for a few months a while ago when he got some samples. They definitely helped him a lot. He was able to get and maintain an erection and no trouble with ejaculating. So for us it is great. Unfortunately he never went back for an actual prescription though so now we're struggling with the performance issues again. It's extra bad now too because we have very little time together to HIO cuz of our work schedules. I just talked to him about going back to the doctor. We actually had to scrap this whole cycle because he felt too much pressure and we only have like 30 minutes a day together this week. So bottom line, for us it worked. Not sure how it affects fertility though. I'm going to have my H ask his doc. GL to you two! I really hope it helps. I know how frustrating this issue is. Feel free to PM me if you have any other questions about it.
ETA: typos

PinkCamino

Thanks for all the opinions and advice ladies! We're going to try, at this point if it makes him feel better about the situation I guess it can't hurt right.

@Eurydicenypmph his doctor requested a follow up in January. He was reluctant to prescribe anti-anxiety meds because one of their major side-effects is reduced libido.

MrsPhD83

@PinkCamino, ((hugs)) I'm so sorry that you're going through this. I read this and your "no BBT" post too and wanted to offer some thoughts. MH has had performance anxiety a couple of times in the past when I got a positive OPK and I'm like "SEX RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I was a little shocked the first time this presented itself because he had told me he wanted to know everything about my cycle too. We took a TTA cycle last month (and I still did BBT and OPKs so I could chart) and this performance issue never once came up. So now I know it really was a "sex on demand" thing and not a charting thing. So, it may be even more important to not have scheduled sex, as opposed to not charting. Or, at least let him think that it's not scheduled...you could catch him more spontaneously, spice things up, etc during your FW without him knowing. Also, I agree with PP that therapy may be beneficial in this situation. If you think things have gotten worse since your last loss, then perhaps he is still grieving and this is how it is manifesting. MH had *horrible* anxiety following our loss and thought about going to therapy. The clouds parted for him and he never went, but it may be something to consider if the anxiety is lingering. ((hugs)) again. I hope the Viagra is helpful!

BookishMomma

Sorry you and your H are going through this, PC. The stress of loss and TTC affects all of us in different ways. I agree with @EurydiceNymph that it may be worth looking into treating any underlying anxiety or depression. While it's true that many antidepressants lower sex drive, there are some that are better than others on that issue (Welbutrin, I believe is one with less sexual side effects). 

((Hugs)) 

megrae12

I dont have much in the way of advice, but I wanted to offer ((Hugs)). I know it has be frustrating. Also, I am glad that your H is fine otherwise. 

rmpar29

PC, first I'm so sorry that you and DH are going through this.  When my DH was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and put on meds he was having issues maintaining an erection.  His psychiatrist said that he could prescribe Viagra, but it might hurt his ability to ejaculate.  We haven't tried it, so I can't tell you if it would help or not.  I know that there are some anxiety meds that won't hurt your DH's performance that might be worth trying if the Viagra doesn't help.  Big ((((HUGS)))) hon!