Thinking about TTC again but discouraged by family

illicks9860

I am 9 months Postpartum come December 7th this year and my husband and I are thinking of trying for another LO sometime this winter. However, my family, specifically Grandma, can be pushy and quick to give an opinion, openly telling me not to TTC. They say things like "you're not ready" or they make faces or don't say anything at all...and they even say things like "you better be on birth control", treating me like a child when I am clearly not! I think I'm doing the best i can at being a mother and i LOVE it so much I want another one soon and I don't know how to get their judge-y comments/faces out of my head when i think of having another (honestly if it weren't for them i'd pry be pregnant by now i want another one so much).

Anyways...It is really frustrating because i'm letting their feelings dictate my life choices in a way and getting in the way of building my hubby and I's family. Did anyone else have issues with this? How did you deal? ALSO, if i do get pregnant this winter how do i bypass their judge-y vibes and then not get mad later after i deliver the new baby and they act as if they'd been happy about it all along (this is what they did with my first baby i should mention...grrrr)

Help. Thanks 

illicks9860

Thank you for your encouragement...really it means the world! 

pugsandwine

Have they told you why they don't want you to? Or are they just being jerks?

illicks9860

I think it is because they would like to see me go back to school and major in something else (I graduated from college last December and I'm content with my degree I have and don't really have any intentions to go back). Also I think LO's Grandma is just having a hard time letting go of me as her daughter and wants me to do things "her way"...once a mother always a mother kind of thing

pugsandwine

Tell them they got their chance to do their lives, give you your chance to live yours. 

Helenahhandbasket

Don't discuss any future TTC plans with anyone. 

If they bring it up, simply say your family planning will only be discussed between your husband and yourself.

jennypolkadots

I would explore your family's reasons and just hear them out. I'm not saying to let them dissuade you from ttc, but if there are many people close to you that think it is not the best idea there is probably at least some truth to it. 

If you and your husband have a stable marriage and can afford a second child, more power to you. If you provide for your child and have thought through the implications of having 2 under 2, I can't imagine why anyone would be anything but excited for you. I wouldn't openly discuss your plans to ttc if you know they are against it for no good reason. Adding to your family isn't a group discussion, it's for you and your husband to decide if it isn't going to affect anyone else. 

4N6s

I wouldn't ask for their opinion or even talk about the issue. It had nothing to do with them!
Good luck!

sandrabrooke

If you can afford another child, I'd say go for it. 

That being said, sometimes if there is a lot of pressure, there might be some truth to it.  Otherwise if people are just trying to impose their lives on you, you have to ignore them. 

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