NBR: I need to vent! Work related. (long)

niknak1208

Good morning ladies. I need a safe place to vent before I explode at someone!  I ticked off right now that I literally just want to pack my stuff and walk out and never come back.  So I've been here almost 2 years.  I do work comp/FMLA/ADA... I've done this type of work for over 10 years now. I was initially hired just to do work comp and 'safety' which was never clearly defined and has never been defined since I've been here.  About 6 months in, the person who did all the FMLA stuff quit to go work somewhere else.  So guess who got dumped on?  ALL of the LOA stuff got dumped on my desk without any explanation..  no talk about my wages.. no talk about whether or not I even wanted it.  I was too new and too nervous about saying no so I reluctantly took it and I think that was my goof up. I should have negotiated wages right then and there!  But I didn't. Right before that person left, we got a new time keeping system that I literally had 2 hours of training on when everyone else has months of training.  So here I am with all of this crap to do. My desk looks like a tornado hit it every single day. I manage time cards for an organization for approx 4000 people.. we have hundreds of LOA's every single month.  I manage ALL of the workers comp injuries.  I handle ALL of the ADA procedures myself. I sit on 4 safety committees that I have to report to and attend meetings for every single month!  

I used to have a clerical assistant that would send my letters out.. do some data entry for me.. all the admin stuff that I don't have time to do. Well we had another team member quit last summer and our assistant had to take on all of that person's stuff so I had to take back all the clerical stuff myself.  I am extremely stressed out.  My work load is huge and I never have time to get everything done. I rarely take a lunch.  I can't even remember that last time I took more than 20-30 minutes at lunch time .. let alone actually left the office.  I'm here every single day.  I'm here until 5 which is more than I can say for most! 

I also have this co-worker who is a problem child and if someone doesn't talk me back off the ledge.. I might actually throw down!  I am SOOOOO irritated with this person.  She walks around here and does whatever she wants.. whenever she wants to.  She has the leaders all in her back pocket because she kisses their ass 24/7.. brings them donuts on payday..  brings them treats.. like them only.. ALL the time.  Buys them lunch.. I mean seriously brown noser here and they just eat it right up.  So whatever she says to them.. is like golden.  She claims to work soooo many hours at home..  which is a flat out lie. She basically takes her computer home.. logs on and makes it LOOK like she's working all these hours from home.  She leaves whenever she wants. Takes long lunches. I also suspect she's been accepting gifts from venders which is a big no no.  They let her take off without PTO..  she calls in unexpectedly and they don't mark her for an attendance point even though EVERYONE else gets marked.  it's obnoxious. 

Anyways so our manager is out this week and this problem child wasn't here yesterday but popped in during the early morning and apparently went to our director and told her that i never answer the main line.. which is total bs because I do.. but my phone is extremely busy and I don't always have an opportunity to grab that main line because I'm already on the phone. So this leader sends me a shitty email telling me to answer the line.  I was SO pissed.  But this is the stuff she does all the time. So this girl comes to me this mornign and says hey theres 31 messages on the line. I said well I don't have the password so i couldn't check the voice mails and i wasn't here all day yesterday.. I left for a dentist appt.. and i didn' tknow you weren't going to be here until mid morning yesterday! 

I mean seriously. I'm going to go ape shit crazy on someone!  They also gave this person a 16% increase just because she told them that she was offered another position?! Seriously? We all got 1%!!!  We used to have to take shifts at our front desk and the stupid leader would come to me alllll the time asking me to 'cover her shift' and then I'd find out that that she was just out to lunch.  I went to our mgr and said um never again will I be covering ANYONE"s front desk shift because they are out to lunch.. that is BS and I will not do it.  

So I've taken ALL of this to my manager.  She will literally sit there and complain about it with me.. apologize up and down but she does NOTHING!  I took it to our freakin' VP and he did NOTHING.  All he did was sit there and appease me which just made me more angry! 

Obviously, I'm 12 weeks pregnant so I don't want to change jobs NOW but I am so beside myself.  This started out as disappointment and now it's digust and anger! 

Any thoughts?  How can I remain calm and get through this without losing it!? 

Lm92599

Hang in there. Deep breaths.

Hopefully things work out in your favor. Good luck

KirstenAlecia

oh man. This sounds horrible. I wish I had some advice but workplace crap like this is hard. I had major issues at work with someone once and let me tell you....they would not do anything. Its highly stressful for sure. Hugs and I really hope something gives. What is it about the higher ups letting that one person get away with murder???

NeonNoon

Sorry about your situation.  Personnel problems can make going to the office really miserable.

Have you thought about what you want out of this specifically?  E.g.  a raise, less work, an apology etc.  I would focus on one or two things and make specific demands of your manager/VP.  They may have misinterpreted your complaints as a vent rather than as you wanting something.  Be persistent in the medium-long run, but patient in the short term.

I had a pretty nasty situation with a co-worker a long time ago.  I got through it by spending lots of time in the break room (our desks were right next to each other in an open plan space), taking walks, and by leaning on friends and family for a few weeks (calls and emails for relief).  Yes, work suffered, but it's not like the management didn't know about the problems.

Good luck

topaz7777

Well if you are nursing or not, say that you are, take long pump breaks.  Read a book. 

I had a hateful woman I worked with.  Decided I'd pump till my daughter was 2.

Maybe I'm just mad for you and thinking passive agressively.  lol.  I wonder if your co-worker is related to someone there...

niknak1208

Thanks Ladies.  Initially, I asked for more money because quite frankly I feel I deserve it. I absorbed an entire position and they did nothing.  But I was told that because that person made less than I make.. they would not increase my wage.  I told them that I did not agree and that I am doing TWO jobs and I should be compensated as such. It's not like I'm expecting a 40k raise. I'm a reasonable person.  I'm expecting a reasonable increase. I think I deserved at least 3% which I don't think is asking for much! 

Secondly, I asked that they address the unfairness with this particular co-worker.  Initially, I treaded lightly because my manager does seem to be close to this person sometimes so I was gentle at first.  After being gentle two.. three times.. I just got ticked off.  I emailed the manager and said when you have a minute.. I would like to discuss something with you that is really bothering me.  So we sat down and talked about it and I bluntly said.. hey is anyone going to anything about this person?  I told her that I'm getting calls all the time that this person is not returning calls or emails but yet this person can call off without attendance points.. take 'comp' time which we are technically NOT supposed to do in this organization.. like it is literally noted in our policy!  Leave early.. take 2 hour lunches etc etc.  it's ridiculous.  I said I am really angry about this and I usually don't care what others are doing been when I feel that I'm being treated unfairly.. then I care.  When I'm getting an attendance point because I had to leave early to pick up my 2 yr old child who had a fever at daycare..  and she's not getting a point when she leaves early to take her dog to the vet unexpectedly.. yeah that ticks me off!  That is not fair! 

Basically it boils down to the fact that my manager has NO backbone what so ever.  She does not want to stand up to our director because she doesn't have a great relationship with her in the first place and no one wants the rath of this person because she can be a nasty person. I get that.. but I told her the last time.. look I need you to understand that I'm taking this to you because I directly report to you and I feel that I should give you an opportunity to correct it but if nothing happens.. I will take this above you.  I mean I am just done.  I'm sick of it.  

And let me just note that this crap has been happening since I got here. It's funny because you know how you meet someone and you think.. hmm.. I'm either going to love you or hate you!  I could tell that she was going to be an issue. I just knew it by her behavior and I have had to go to leadership about her SEVERAL times.  

Ugh.  Thank you for letting me vent ladies. You have no idea how much I needed it.  I bought myself a yummy white hot chocolate yesterday morning and streamed Christmas music all day trying to brighten my mood and I was still mad. lol 

marijaa333

I'm sorry to hear all this - it sounds super stressful (...if a white hot chocolate can't fix it, it's gotta be bad!!!)

I would separate the two issues: the slacker colleague and your workload and try to address them individually.

Complaining about someone who is sucking up to management never gets one anywhere. Ignoring them, not helping them, but not bad-mouthing them is the only way to go; in other words, take the high road, but protect yourself from their slacking to the extent possible. I have one of these in my office; hardly competent but also a peddler of treats, sappy cards and compliments to our manager. She has now learned not to ask for my help as I just won't volunteer any of my skills to her projects. Thankfully I'm known as a hyper-collaborative person with everyone else on the team, so I can afford to do this with her, otherwise I'd risk being labeled uncooperative or something.

Above all, my advice on the brown-noser is: don't let her get to you! She's not worth it.

On the second, workload issue, I think you have a very strong case; if a salary increase isn't possible, could you ask for another person to be hired, even a junior or an intern?

In the long term, I think looking for another place of employment is your best bet. Forcing a good personal fit with management is basically impossible, and yet it's so important to have respect for the people above (and below!) you.  I'm in a similar boat and am looking.

niknak1208

"@"marijaa333 Thank You! Recently, this is the conclusion I've succumbed to also. Regarding the slacker, I stopped saying anything because it got me no where. I never really complained about her 'slacking' necessarily.  I only complained about the unfairness in regards to attendance points, working front desk shifts etc. I was fearful of becoming labeled a complainer and I'm not.  Now, I just don't give her the time of day. I say good morning and I'm cordial but I just keep walking and I go into my office and work all day.  I just really wears on me sometimes. Especially when our manager will come in my office.. close my door.. and complain about the same person and the same issues but then there's no action.  I always feel like saying.. perhaps you need to find someone else to vent to because you aren't sending a very good message by listening and apologizing to my complaints.. complaining about the same thing.. and then not doing anything about it! I just hate the bad attitude it gives me. I'm a genuinely happy person almost all the time and I hate that she's making me so mad! 

Regarding the workload, what I was thinking about doing is creating a checklist of sorts that really detailed and outlined the work I do because frankly I'm not sure they even realize!  We just hired a new front desk person who's here at least temporarily and I was thinking about asking them if she could do some of these clerical tasks for me. Prepare my mail. Enter work comp claims. The things I truly don't have time for that just about anyone could do!  

Thank You ALL for listening. I truly appreciate you all taking the time to read my crazy long posts! 

marijaa333

I think it's a good sign that your manager confides in you. That means others are aware and thinking about the issue and her brown-nosing isn't quite yielding the results it should be. I would just hear her out, take some satisfaction in the fact the slacker is making quite the name for herself (not in a good way) and perhaps just ask "hmmm, so what can be done about this problem?" then let your manager think about solutions.  I wouldn't jump on the manager since it sounds like it's out of her control, at least to some extent.

And that sounds like a great idea, to ask if the new front desk person can help out! I hope they say yes!

Good luck. I hope you enjoy the next white hot chocolate in total, stress-free bliss! 

MrsJCool

Wow, this sounds terrible.  If I was in your shoes, I would start looking but keep it VERY confidential.  There's nothing wrong with changing employers when you're pregnant - you DON'T need to disclose that info up front.  Otherwise, if you stick it out you're definitely going to need some coping mechanisms to avoid getting overly stressed.....