Very frustrated

ktibbits1

This is mostly a vent as I'm pretty upset right now.
I had twins on 10/22 and they each spent about a week in the NICU so I began EPing with some attempts at breastfeeding here and there. I had been pumping anywhere from 5-11oz at a time and was happy that I was able to provide breast milk for my babies however they could get it. They've been home for a couple weeks now and I met with an LC last Tuesday to try to make breastfeeding work. My son has a pretty severe lip tie and slight tongue tie that would need to be addressed before he'd be able to bf successfully and my daughter has some success using a nipple shield (although she may have a bit of a tongue tie too), however she rarely latches on to even allow for a feeding. Saturday I dealt with a blocked duct in my right breast, and since then my output has been 1.5-4oz at a pumping session, which isn't enough to keep up with their feedings. I'm trying fenugreek, mothers milk tea, lecithin to prevent more blocked ducts, and I'm pumping every 2-3 hours. I'm afraid that after today I may have to use formula and I'm just so frustrated and upset. Nothing has been easy about this and I never imagined it would be so hard as it's supposed to be the most natural thing we do right? I feel like such a failure and what makes it worse is feeling like I'm failing them

jenn43

Hugs Mama!  It may not feel like it, but you are doing great!  Whatever you end up doing to feed your babies will be the right thing for your family.  Breastfeeding is hard work, and I can't even imagine trying to do it with twins.  You've given them breastmilk during their first days, and that is fantastic.  And if they end up having formula, that's okay too.  It's great nutritious food, and if it means a mama who's not as stressed, then it's good for the whole family.  Hang in there!

flcl

You sound like you are working really hard and you ARE doing awesome.  I remember feeling like a failure, having to supplement formula that first week while we were still in the hospital and LO still had his tongue tie.  I was scared that introducing formula would be the end of BF.  Once we had LO's tongue tie fixed, BF was a lot easier for him.  (I still dealt with challenges but we figured it out eventually.)  Point is, @casey78 is right... this isn't the end.  It's ok that you feel like BF is hard... it is tough, especially in the early stages.  Hang in there and best of luck!

ktibbits1

Thanks ladies, that makes me feel much better! You're right, it doesn't have to be all or nothing, I hadn't thought of it that way

sunnyplaces

Hang in there and keep doing what you're doing! Things shift rapidly so if you decide to add some formula now, you may be in a different place next week. Adding formula doesn't need to mean an end to bfing. You are doing an amazing job!

Bonnesetter27

You are growing your babies and that is what is important. My DD just had a tongue tie fixed this week. She is 10 weeks old. My supply is great since I worked so hard to get it up but now I can't get her to latch even with a shield. If you intend on continuing bfing (and in my opinion it is easier than eping) I would look into getting the tongue tie fixed soon. That way you don't have to worry about nipple preference on top of everything else. You are doing great though.