Cycle length question

runner76

I am feeling a little optimistic. or trying to anyway.. I think I may be O a little later and maybe that is why we aren't succeeding.. I am wondering how you calculate cycle length though if it never the same.. some months I am 28 day. last month I was 31. I'm looking back at my cycles and it looks as though I may start my window but not actually O til a little later than I thought based on cycle length.. 

MySallyGirl

The first part of your cycle before you ovulate can vary widely. The second part of your cycle should be relatively the same every month. So your total cycle length can and does vary from month to month for many women and does not have to be a set 28 days. That's where temping, keeping track of mucus, opks, whatever you want to use can help you know when you're going to or have ovulated. Fertility friend.com or the book taking charge of your fertility might help if you need to read up and learn more

katie0919

You need to temp, use OPK's, etc. Cycle lengths are ALWAYS different, it's your luteal phase that shouldn't vary much. I highly suggest reading Taking Charge of Your Fertility, download Fertility Friend (it's the ONLY app I would use) and read, do the tutorials, etc. Education is key.

Just FYI, you post here A LOT - it makes you appear a bit obsessive. First you're freaking out that you haven't gotten pregnant after 3 months, then you're freaking out because your cycle started and now you're feeling "optimistic" all the sudden. You just seem to bounce all over the place, and I don't see you supporting anyone else.  And you really don't need to start a thread every time you have these thoughts.

I generally hate this kind of "advice" but try to relax. I just can't have much empathy for a grown woman who knows nothing about her cycle, yet complains she's not pregnant after 3 months. Try TTC for a year with two miscarriages. Not trying to one-up you or compete....but just sayin'. If you want to get pregnant, you need to know how your cycles work. Stop borrowing trouble and talking about RE's when you aren't even close to that yet....the stress and worry isn't going to help you at all - it will make you bonkers.

lcwed

If you start temping this cycle, it will tell you exactly when you ovulate and how long you LP is.  Then you will know exactly when to expect AF.

Davie813

I second (or third) the temping.  I disagree that it's too soon to be thinking about an RE, however.  Hopefully learning more about your cycle will do the trick and it will be a non-issue, but I knew when I started TTC #2 that I would need 6 months documented trying with my OB to get an insurance referral for one, so I worked with her toward that from the beginning.  At our age we don't really have time to waste.

I see that you actually have been responding to others' posts and offering more support.  Keep it up.  Unfortunately a lot of people use us as a substitute for Google, which starts to wear. 

Just breathe, and hang in there.

flyliceandcoffee

Being relatively new to this whole process as well, I can understand how overwhelming it can be. You've gotten a lot of really good advice, in both this thread and others you have posted previously. You do have to be willing to do some work on your own though. While we can't force you to start temping and charting and keeping track of stuff, we also can't help answer a lot of your questions if you don't because while there are "general" ideas, each person is going to be different and what their cycle is like may not be what your cycle is.

katie0919

Davie813 said:

I second (or third) the temping.  I disagree that it's too soon to be thinking about an RE, however.  Hopefully learning more about your cycle will do the trick and it will be a non-issue, but I knew when I started TTC #2 that I would need 6 months documented trying with my OB to get an insurance referral for one, so I worked with her toward that from the beginning.  At our age we don't really have time to waste.

I see that you actually have been responding to others' posts and offering more support.  Keep it up.  Unfortunately a lot of people use us as a substitute for Google, which starts to wear. 

Just breathe, and hang in there.

It's not too soon to be thinking about an RE if you have been temping, and have documented good timing for 6 months. I'm just saying, there is NO POINT to borrowing trouble. Having IF is something I would never wish upon anyone and it's not a fun "club" to be in. 

I get it, I started going to an RE in July, a month before I turned 35...but that's because I KNEW something was wrong. I had spotting starting and 3-4 DPO and it continued until my period - and all of this started after my chemical pregnancy and never corrected. My luteal phase was getting shorter and shorter and I was ovulating later and later in my cycle. These are things you know when you've been charting and know what your cycles are like. If she has no idea about her cycles and she went to her OB right now, they would tell her to keep trying. 

If she doesn't know when she is fertile and isn't having sex on the correct days, that is no reason to seek out an RE. No, we aren't getting any younger, but she has zero reason to believe something is wrong with her.

Davie813

katie0919 said:

Davie813 said:

I second (or third) the temping.  I disagree that it's too soon to be thinking about an RE, however.  Hopefully learning more about your cycle will do the trick and it will be a non-issue, but I knew when I started TTC #2 that I would need 6 months documented trying with my OB to get an insurance referral for one, so I worked with her toward that from the beginning.  At our age we don't really have time to waste.

I see that you actually have been responding to others' posts and offering more support.  Keep it up.  Unfortunately a lot of people use us as a substitute for Google, which starts to wear. 

Just breathe, and hang in there.

It's not too soon to be thinking about an RE if you have been temping, and have documented good timing for 6 months. I'm just saying, there is NO POINT to borrowing trouble. Having IF is something I would never wish upon anyone and it's not a fun "club" to be in. 

I get it, I started going to an RE in July, a month before I turned 35...but that's because I KNEW something was wrong. I had spotting starting and 3-4 DPO and it continued until my period - and all of this started after my chemical pregnancy and never corrected. My luteal phase was getting shorter and shorter and I was ovulating later and later in my cycle. These are things you know when you've been charting and know what your cycles are like. If she has no idea about her cycles and she went to her OB right now, they would tell her to keep trying. 

If she doesn't know when she is fertile and isn't having sex on the correct days, that is no reason to seek out an RE. No, we aren't getting any younger, but she has zero reason to believe something is wrong with her.

I see what you're saying, and agree that the first thing anyone TTC needs to do is verify that the timing is right. 

I'm still really glad that I personally started laying the groundwork for RE referral immediately, even though I had no symptoms and there was no reason to assume anything was wrong with me, either (DD was a breeze to conceive, and I honestly thought this one would be, too).  I was temping from the beginning, but I learned about my highish FSH early in the process, which gave both me and the doctor some direction.

It turns out that there is something wrong with me (spoiler alert: age), and even though I got started with an RE as soon as humanly possible, you can see from my signature that it's not going so well. 

While I can't agree more that a person needs to get the fundamentals down first, I just think more knowledge (e.g. getting CD 3 bloodwork to get an idea of reserve early) is better than less.
ETA, I don't think I was very clear, but I'm glad I started the RE referral process early because I got kind of a running start when I did see her. She knew before our first meeting, for example, that we needed to get permission from my insurance company to bypass the requirement for a few clomid cycles before moving on to injects. It really did save me a few months. I know that most people on this board aren't quite as old as I am, so time might not be quite so much of the essence. Then again, depending on hormones, it could be...

kelley72

Seriously, every time you comment someone suggests temping. 

Radiantly

Please do come back for more Q's after temping, it opens up a world of data and information for empowering yourself.

runner76

I'm sorry if I am coming off as obsessive.. im just really stressed and feeling like I have decided on this possibly too late. I really don't know what to think.. I am sometimes positive and sometimes completely negative. I am starting to temp so we will see how that goes. I am confused on the whole OPk thing.. For instance I got the solid smiley on  Tuesday nov 5.. could you get a positive but not actually not ovulate for a few days.. could I have O on Friday?  cause we stopped BD on Wednesday.. just trying to figure this all out..

gscoville

runner76 said:

I am feeling a little optimistic. or trying to anyway.. I think I may be O a little later and maybe that is why we aren't succeeding.. I am wondering how you calculate cycle length though if it never the same.. some months I am 28 day. last month I was 31. I'm looking back at my cycles and it looks as though I may start my window but not actually O til a little later than I thought based on cycle length.. 

If you keep refusing to take repeated advice to start temping so as to know what your body is doing, then there's really nothing more any of us can do to help you. Constantly posting about knowing nothing about every stage of your cycle and worrying about irrelevancies like cycle length is wearing. Get an account with FF, get a BBT thermometer, do the free FF tutorials so you'll know what the different phases of your cycle are and mean, and start temping. Then come back with questions. You seriously need to help yourself, we can't do it for you.

tlc35

gscoville said:

runner76 said:

I am feeling a little optimistic. or trying to anyway.. I think I may be O a little later and maybe that is why we aren't succeeding.. I am wondering how you calculate cycle length though if it never the same.. some months I am 28 day. last month I was 31. I'm looking back at my cycles and it looks as though I may start my window but not actually O til a little later than I thought based on cycle length.. 

If you keep refusing to take repeated advice to start temping so as to know what your body is doing, then there's really nothing more any of us can do to help you. Constantly posting about knowing nothing about every stage of your cycle and worrying about irrelevancies like cycle length is wearing. Get an account with FF, get a BBT thermometer, do the free FF tutorials so you'll know what the different phases of your cycle are and mean, and start temping. Then come back with questions. You seriously need to help yourself, we can't do it for you.

::Slow clap::
Seriously @gscoville you rock!

katie0919

runner76 said:

I'm sorry if I am coming off as obsessive.. im just really stressed and feeling like I have decided on this possibly too late. I really don't know what to think.. I am sometimes positive and sometimes completely negative. I am starting to temp so we will see how that goes. I am confused on the whole OPk thing.. For instance I got the solid smiley on  Tuesday nov 5.. could you get a positive but not actually not ovulate for a few days.. could I have O on Friday?  cause we stopped BD on Wednesday.. just trying to figure this all out..

If you temped, then you would be able to determine if/when you O'd. You can have an LH surge and then not ovulate...then you could have another surge a few days later and then O. I personally only get one surge a month, but I am not everyone else. This is why temping is essential. You really need to stop freaking out and over-analyzing this, I can assure you that won't help anything. 

In order to get pregnant, you need to be having sex in the 5 days leading up to ovulation (these are typically the most important days to have sex), the day of ovulation and the day after ovulation...whether it be every day, every other day, etc. (I personally do every other day until I get a pos OPK, then I go for that day and the next) To do that, you need to determine when you ovulate. I suggest ditching the blinking/solid smiley face OPK's - they cause too much confusion and you seem to be over-analyzing them to death. I've not heard good things about them anyway. Use the cheapo wondfos on Amazon. You can get 50 for $20 and it will allow you to test twice a day to ensure you catch that surge. Ovulation can then only be determined by a temp shift (hence why you need fertility friend).

SERIOUSLY, read Taking Charge of Your Fertility...like, yesterday. Then you can come back and ask more questions. But please, don't be throwing around the term 'infertility' or start worrying you waited too late to have kids when you have no idea if you have any problems. It can be offensive to others on here that actually DO have problems. Don't borrow trouble.

EDIT: words

Nikolie93

@runner76‌ coming from someone that absolutely had no clue when coming to this board recently and now actually knowing some things I really urge you to take all the advice above.

I signed up for fertility friend (I got the same advice you're getting) last week and started temping. The BBT cost me 10 bucks at CVS. FF actually has been sending me lessons to learn how things work in my email and it's helped tremendously.

Yes, I had to take the time to read them but if you REALLY want to know what's going on, you will take the time.

The ladies on this board are awesome and full of knowledge but you have to take some initiative to learn on your own.

It's intimidating at first but it gets easier. Good luck!

runner76

Do you have to pay to join fertility friend?

Nikolie93

There is something called a VIP membership that you get as a free trial. After so long (not sure how long you have it free for) you have to pay to keep that status. 

I think you can do basic stuff with the free version but I haven't gotten to that point yet. Maybe someone else can chime on on that one!

flyliceandcoffee

by default FF is free. You get access to the basics such as a calendar and a chart that shows all your data points. It's enough to learn all.the.things and feel confident that you know what's going on with your body. The free version will "predict" your fertile days, provide you the date you ovulated if you input your temps and stuff, and will tell you when you "should" test based on your specific cycle and cycle history. I use the free version and just having that amount of data and knowledge is enough for me that I don't "need" the paid version.

kindershlitz

I just use the free version of FF. Your cycles can vary when you O and in length.   Try temping to pinpoint O and then perhaps you'll see a 'pattern' and predict best times to BD.  This is pretty much a repeat of what everyone else has said.

MySallyGirl

Agreed.  The free version gives you all you really need to know to track your cycle and learn what is going on with your body.

moncha

I also use the free version and find it's all I need at this point anyway.