Introduction (living child mentioned and apologies!) SN updated!

firefly143

first off I'm sorry about my name on here.. I made this account right after my DS was born and now I cant figure out how to change it and now I'm here. I'm really iffy about these boards so it took me about a week to work up the guts to post. My DH was deployed so I started BC 2months before he came home, did my research and chose the patch. We decided to start trying in August since it took 6 months to conceive DS we weren't expecting much. By some miracle I got a BFP on August 18th... August 25th I drove myself to the er while sobbing on the phone with my sister who has been down the same road. Hcg was 11 at 5wks 5 days and ultrasound was empty... Grief is hard but grieving alone is making me crazy. We decided last week to try again and I'm scared.

Finally got my SN fixed so now I will feel comfortable replying on other posts without hurting anyone!!!

brownshuga1432

Welcome @coltsmom2013. This is definitely a hard time. I had my loss in April. I can't say I know exactly how you feel doing this alone. I can only comment to what helped me on the hardest days. My DS was my motivation to get out of bed. I convinced myself that he needed me so I had to get up to cook, clean, bathe etc. I tried to find every and anything that made the loss of my precious baby be ok such as how broke I was around the time he was suppose to be born.

I am not sure if any of this is helpful but I hope it is. I'll be praying for your strength.

firefly143

brownshuga1432 said:

Welcome @coltsmom2013. This is definitely a hard time. I had my loss in April. I can't say I know exactly how you feel doing this alone. I can only comment to what helped me on the hardest days. My DS was my motivation to get out of bed. I convinced myself that he needed me so I had to get up to cook, clean, bathe etc. I tried to find every and anything that made the loss of my precious baby be ok such as how broke I was around the time he was suppose to be born.

I am not sure if any of this is helpful but I hope it is. I'll be praying for your strength.

Thanks for the reply. I agree DS is my strongest motivator. This is a hard road to walk. My heart breaks all over again reading the other ladies stories. I'm sorry for your loss as well. Any and all prayers are greatly appreciated!

PinkCamino

Talking about LO comforting you through your loss is really inappropriate.

firefly143

No one said anything about comfort. I said motivator. God comforts me, my LO has no clue what happened.

ellebelle2384

I'm sorry for your loss.  No one should have to experience this pain.  Also PP is correct.  This is not the place to talk about how your LC motivates and/or comforts you.  That is a knife into the heart of women here who do not have LC or may never have one.  There is a board for Trouble Trying to Conceive a Sibling which may be more appropriate for you if you would like to talk about that.  There is a good group of women over there and a AL check-in as well.  Again, sorry for your loss and that you find yourself in this place.

firefly143

ellebelle2384 said:

I'm sorry for your loss.  No one should have to experience this pain.  Also PP is correct.  This is not the place to talk about how your LC motivates and/or comforts you.  That is a knife into the heart of women here who do not have LC or may never have one.  There is a board for Trouble Trying to Conceive a Sibling which may be more appropriate for you if you would like to talk about that.  There is a good group of women over there and a AL check-in as well.  Again, sorry for your loss and that you find yourself in this place.

I put the warning in the title, apologized off the bat, and simply agreed with another comment. I followed the rules and I'm still feel like I'm being attacked

negritosmami

So sorry for your loss and that you're having to go thru this while hubby is deployed. As if deployments aren't hard enough already!! Many hugs to you

firefly143

negritosmami said:

So sorry for your loss and that you're having to go thru this while hubby is deployed. As if deployments aren't hard enough already!! Many hugs to you

Sorry I should have worded that better. He isn't currently deployed, just gone for weeks at a time for training. And thank you! Hugs to you too!

firefly143

HoldingOutHope said:

ColtsMom2013 said:

ellebelle2384 said:

I'm sorry for your loss.  No one should have to experience this pain.  Also PP is correct.  This is not the place to talk about how your LC motivates and/or comforts you.  That is a knife into the heart of women here who do not have LC or may never have one.  There is a board for Trouble Trying to Conceive a Sibling which may be more appropriate for you if you would like to talk about that.  There is a good group of women over there and a AL check-in as well.  Again, sorry for your loss and that you find yourself in this place.

I put the warning in the title, apologized off the bat, and simply agreed with another comment. I followed the rules and I'm still feel like I'm being attacked

You're not being attacked. PP who brought it up first has been trying to stir things up here. As PC and ellebelle pointed out, those specific types of comments are hurtful to those without LC. Also, I don't think you need to worry about your SN causing offense - but if you still want to change it, I think you can do it through The Knot...someone else may be able to help if you need further direction. I'm very sorry for your loss.


Thank you, I just don't want my SN to hurt anyone. I'll continue trying to change it. I was not aware she was trying to stir the pot, I'm sorry. I will refrain from mentioning DS in future post and replies on others posts.

rslh10

I'm so sorry for your loss. Welcome to the board. I hope you choose to stick around and give/get support.  ((hugs))

firefly143

rslh10 said:

I'm so sorry for your loss. Welcome to the board. I hope you choose to stick around and give/get support.  ((hugs))

I will stick around. The whole point of me posting to begin with was to become part of the group. One little set back won't stop me

rmpar29

I'm so sorry for your loss.  Welcome to the board.

lycih

I'm sorry for your loss; welcome to the board.  

renegadewhit

I'm sorry for your loss. I appreciate your willingness to respect the rules of this board. You're very welcome here, and I'm glad you're sticking around.

MrsOscarFelix

I am sorry for your loss. Welcome to the board!

firefly143

Thank all of you ladies! Hugs all around!! Today is very busy for me. I will check back when I can! Hope everyone's day is beautiful!!

Nikolie93

Sorry for your loss, welcome. 

It's normal to be a bit scared when TTCAL. Good luck to you. 

mflowers929

I'm sorry for your loss. Welcome to the board.

uromys

I'm sorry for your loss. Welcome.

welly01

I like your new SN.

firefly143

Thank you! @wellybug‌

jordangoodnight

I'm sorry for your loss. Welcome.

schuebja

I'm sorry for your loss. Welcome to,the board.

brownshuga1432

mlal78 said:

@coltsmom2013 I am sorry for your loss.  If you want to change your screen name you can go through the knot to do it.  It will take a bit to changeover.

No one was attacking you, just telling you one of the rules around these parts.  In your OP you did it right, brief mention of living child and a warning in the title.

What is/was very painful to most of the ladies here is further mention of children being motivators after @brownshuga1432's comment.  Most of them do not have any living children, so to see that is a stab in the heart to them, kwim?  This is why we do not talk about LC on this board.

I do apologize. I really don't mean to be insensitive to anyone. It is difficult for me to talk out my loss without my LC. Maybe because that affected how I responded. My heart and deep prayer does go out to those who does not have living children. 

In no kind of disrespect but maybe I or someone should start a separate group for TTC after a Loss with LC. I will check if there is any because I do not want to make anyone angry, sad or to relive or hurt because of my comments. 

brownshuga1432

@firefly143 sorry for adding to the fire iwth my response . I did't mean to stir anything up. But I hope all goes well for you. 

Smile everyday is a new day!