First time I have ever regretted not being open about our infertility

pblge

Tonight we had our next door neighbors over for dinner for the first time in probably two years. They have the cutest little three year old daughter in the world, so for a long time they were in the category of people we avoided because it was painful to be around them. They're VERY child focused. Well, the wife and I were talking tonight and within five minutes of her arriving she blurted out, "I think I mentioned to you some time back that we were trying for a second. We still are, but we've been having a lot of trouble and we've been seeing a specialist." !!!

So our next door neighbors have been experiencing infertility too, and we had no idea. To make it crazier, the young couple (they seem ten years younger than us) on the other side of these neighbors are apparently ALSO getting infertility treatment (they ran into each other at the clinic). Three houses of infertile couples all in a row! I haven't spent a lot of time around that couple, although they seem nice. I saw her out once walking her dog and I was so certain she was pregnant that I ended up crying back in my house for a while. In retrospect, I bet there was a good chance it was bloat from fertility treatments.

I wish I had known all this time!!!

Thought you ladies would appreciate this.

Neesey

It's never too late to open up! I'm sure they'd love to know they aren't alone either.

AMShark

Thanks for sharing. Earlier this year, I suffered a m/c after my 1st IVF, and just before my D&C, I discovered that a co-worker had just suffered her 3rd m/c in under a year.  Her D&C was scheduled the day before mine.

I hadn't had any idea that she was even TTC.  She'd just gotten married last year, and she's so much younger than me.  I'd have just assumed she wouldn't have any of the same problems I had. If she hadn't overheard and correctly interpreted something I said, we would never have discovered what we had in common.  During that time, she provided such comforting support to me (I hope I provided some for her as well).

 You never really know what other people are going through.  I don't think any of us are as alone as we think we are.

FishyMom

I think you have a situation where you ladies could be wonderful support for one another. And PBLGE because of your experience you have so much knowledge you could offer. I know it can be hard but I say open up to them.

I love the story! it is kind of a - you never know the struggles other people face- type situation.

southernyankeegirl

It was amazing to me when I "came out" on FB for NIAW (ironically I was actually pregnant during it but it was the 2WW and I was convinced it wasn't going to work) how many people that I had hidden from my Newsfeed because of their pregnancy/baby posts "liked" my posts and many sent me messages letting me know of their own struggles (though a few said shit like, "I totally know how you feel! It took us 4 months to conceive baby Johnny! Have you tried raising your hips? Having sex two weeks after your period starts?" Ugh!!!)

Finding someone you envied is walking or has walked in the same shoes definitely can make things better!

Robeano

I was just thinking about this topic recently. Hubby and I have been very open with people. The number of people who have come to me asking about my clinic or needing to vent has surprised me. So many people are so closed off that they hurt privately that I wanted to break that chain. I mean ya I got some well meaning if not weird advice from old ladies but I took it in the spirit it was intended. 

My theory has always been that I can't change the cards I was dealt in life, in fact they have made me stronger and a more compassionate person. So I share it, and it has shocked me how much of an epidemic IF and pregnancy loss is. Like so many women struggle and are hurting with this. 

Sorry for my novel, like I said something I've been thinking about.