Dd will not eat

christinasullie37

Sorry for posting about this again but Dd will not eat. I know toddlers are picky but this is beyond picky. We don't force her to eat, we give her a new item with a few items we know she would eat, we don't make her sit at the table and allow her to get down when she is all done. We have done all the things that the pedi has told us to do. She won't eat any form of protein at all. No beans, peanuts butter, eggs, meat etc. She will not do smoothies either. Pretty much she is living on rice and milk right now. I am beyond frustrated and because she is gaining weight, pedi won't give a referral for help. She also still refuses to try to attempt to use utensils. We don't know what else to do. I notice Dd the other day that she has lanugo on her shoulders. The only reason I know what this is is because I had it during my my anorexia days. This is my biggest fear for her in the future. Yesterday I she actually ate but never swallowed anything. I found chewed up strawberries in her little pumpkin basket later in the evening. I don't know what else to do. I am very limited in pedi s because of my crappy insurance that no one takes and paying out of pocket is financially not feasable. I just don't see things getting any better and I am tired of offering everything hundreds of times only to have to throw it out time after time. Some one please tell me it gets better.

LSU628

Will she do Pediasure? When DD wasn't gaining the pedi told us to do that and whatever junk/trash food she would eat just to get fat and calories into her. He specifically mentioned Little Debbies cakes, the extra butter popcorn, vienna sausages- anything that would normally cause any other mother in the store to give you the side eye. Besides rice and milk will she eat anything? I think I'd also call the Early Intervention office in your area. They can screen for numerous things including the fine/gross muscle skills (b/c she wont use the utensils). Have they checked to make sure her tonsils or throat aren't hurting that would cause her to avoid food?

kellimark

So my son is extremely picky also. Milk is high in protein. Does she eat a vitamin?
My son eats pb and j basically and bananas and milk. He is offered everything we eat. I even tried the no your eating what we are or you're not hungry deal which he basically stopped eating.
I would give it time if she is gaining. Keep offering. My son saw me eating a pear the other day and asked for some. So now he eats like 3 different fruits.
His ped doesn't seem concerned either.
I also agree with trying pediasure.

emberlee3

Check out The Feeding Doctor website/blog. Also google selective eating disorder. There are some blogs and FB groups on SED that may be helpful for you.

I agree that EI may be helpful. She could have fine motor and/or oral motor issues that affect her feeding.

christinasullie37

We tried Pedia sure a while back and she refused but I will admit I have forgotten about that. Believe it or not she actually one meal today and ate the whole plate. As for the pedi, her two year appointment was last week as he said I Dd she is not using utensils frequently by age 3, he will do the referral for ei. We did have ei out back in may because Dd was not saying one word. She did not qualify for any services.

LSU628

You don't have to wait for your pedi to do a referral to EI, you can call yourself. Also, someone correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't it that after age 3 your Headstart/preK programs take over services instead of EI?

lana22

Do you eat together? I've always had more success, particularly with new foods, when I am eating at the same time as my kids. Try preparing things differently -- for example, if she doesn't like eggs scrambled, try hard boiled, over easy, fried, eggs benedict, in a sandwich, etc.

alrighthamilton

We went through this big time, still do to some extent though my daughter has greatly improved in the last couple of months (she's 27 months.) She is still only in the sixth percentile for weight though, but seventieth for height, so really thin. Like your daughter, she refused smoothies and Pediasure, so her pediatrician suggested we mix Carnation Breakfast Essentials (used to be called Carnation Instant Breakfast) with her milk, and she liked the chocolate flavor. It's not as thick as Pediasure or smoothies, so I think that helped. She still gets that often as there are many days, like today, that she will eat nothing. Good luck, I know how stressful it is, but it has improved for us, so hopefully it will for you too.

christinasullie37

You know I did forget a blot carnation instant breakfast too. I'll pick some up this week. As for the age three thing, I think it'll be for a therapist rather than an through ei since that's only for up to age three. He wants us to come back at 2.5 years old rather than wait for the 3 yr check up. She has not fallen off her curve for height or weight so now we are just trying to deal with it as best we can.

NCMichelle

I completely understand how you are feeling!  My DS is underweight and below the growth chart for height...  he eats nothing.  He was diagnosed with sensory processing disorder and that does not help!  He refuses to touch anything that would get him messy... he will use utensils for some foods as long as the food doesn't stick to the utensil.

He survives on pediasure, cheesesticks, raw carrots and broccoli, and dry cheerios.  We've tried everything...  he has had a complete medical evaluation, including a endoscopy to make sure there was nothing wrong with his stomach or esophagus.  

Our pedi has told us to keep trying to introduce new foods (which we do - we eat together for dinner as a family almost every night) and to not push anything.  We've tried the "he'll eventually cave and eat something" route, but the kid never asks for food or drinks.  We've tried the "feed him junk so he'll gain weight" - he could care less.

Hang in there.  It's tough.

christinasullie37

I know I am not the only one who goes through this but it s so hard! We started carnation instant breakfast because she won't drink Pedia sure.

MYRNALOY

It sure is frustrating. I have reverted to squeezable fruits/veggies for backup if she refuses normal food.....not the ones in infant section, I think it's dole brand in canned fruit aisle. Dd will eat fries, Mac and cheese, blueberries(thank God something good for her finally!), and sometimes chicken nuggets, peanut butter toast, corn on the cob........not much in nutrition category. She doesn't normally touch dinner unless one of those items is served. Pedi never alarmed by this as dd gains weight normally and is at top of chart for height and weight but I Hope this picky eating thing is a phase that is nearing an end. Good luck And like others I suggest to keep offering, one day she will surprise you.

Kaelynn91

My daughter does the same thing. One thing that usually gets her to take a few bites is offering her an M&M if she eats five bites of her meal. Sometimes that'll be enough to get her to eat a little bit. When that doesn't work, I try to offer her pouches about an hour after meal time. I figure at least she is getting something healthy... 

smileybabyboy

Did she ever eat purees?  Have you thought about trying those again?  Maybe she does have a sensory issue where she can't tolerate textures or an oral issue where eating and swallowing are difficult.  

I wouldn't try popcorn.  It isn't recommended for kids under the age of 4 because its a choking hazard. 

greyt00

LSU628 said:

You don't have to wait for your pedi to do a referral to EI, you can call yourself. Also, someone correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't it that after age 3 your Headstart/preK programs take over services instead of EI?

In my area the school district takes over from EI at age 3 (and I thought this is a nationwide rule).  I would absolutely call them.  Eating issues like this worry me, I've been through it.  DS1 has sensory processing disorder and autism, but kids without autism can have issues with eating, too.  He lived on milk and fruit puree for a long time and he wasn't gaining weight and his growth slowed almost to a stop.  It's good your daughter is still gaining but you want this to get better and not any worse for sure.  I would recommend occupational therapy (private) for anyone in this situation.  For DS1, ABA therapy was the key, but an occupational therapist can work on desensitizing to oral stimulation (if they think that will help).  You may end up with a speech therapist since any oral issues usually start there.  I saw the mention of "crappy insurance" -- you might consider purchasing a better plan separately for DD if insurance is an obstacle. They sell child only plans.  I bought one for DS1.  I would strongly suggest this because a child cannot thrive primarily on rice and milk for terribly long.  Look at healthcare.gov or whatever the exchange is for your state.

Have you noticed rigidity in any other areas -- for example, not wanting to play with new toys, wants to adhere to a strict schedule/routine, difficulty with transitions?

christinasullie37

I have a call in to ei again but no one has called for an appointment yet. Last time they came out it took about 2 weeks before I got a call back. As for my insurance I have insurance through my work and I cannot afford any additional insurance nor do we qualify for wic. My student loans and garnishment eat up any disposable income. I know she can't survive on rice and milk. That just happened to be the choice for the week. Now she only wants mac and cheese and since its all she'll eat this week, she can have it for every meal if she wants. She does take a multi vitamin but it's not enough and it constipates her terribly even with miralax. Her pedi has us comin f back in January for the w-sitting concerns and when I told him last week about the food strike again he'll do blood work.

greyt00

Do you think you would qualify for some sort of subsidy/credit (not sure what they call it) on an insurance policy through the exchange in your state?  When I entered my information they asked for adjusted gross income, I think.  I don't know if student loans lower your AGI.  If you can remove your dependent from your work policy, would the premium go down to free up that money for a separate policy? 

I'm sorry the vitamin is constipating her.  Maybe you could drop it to a little less frequency, if you haven't already, and see if it helps. The last thing you want is constipation discomfort making her even less inclined to eat. 

MaggieF516

I have had a lot of issues with my son not eating.  I will say it has seemed to pick up in the last few months, so maybe you will see the same.  He is in EI for language, so I did have a nutritionist consult as this service is also offered by EI up to age 3. 

Here are some things I do:

1) I always have snacks he likes out on the coffee table so he can decide to get something if he feels hungry.  He is never going to take the initiative to ask for anything, so it is always there if he notices it and is hungry.

2) I'm definitely more lenient about giving him certain foods that he likes, such as muffins.  Do I love the fact that he always wants to eat muffins? No, but I would rather he eat that than not at all.  The pedi also said to put as much high caloric foods in things he likes (like butter, cream cheese, cheese, olive oil, etc.).  You could try to work in cheese, extra butter, etc. into the rice.

3) I'm better about sitting down and eating with him as this was suggested by the nutritionist.  It wasn't uncommon for me to be doing housework and stuff while he was eating.  I've tried not to do that and actually make it a process where we sit together, talk about the food, etc. 

One strategy that works for me, that I know is a bad habit but it works, is letting him eat dinner in front of the tv.  He is honestly not going to sit and just eat for more than a minute when the focus is just food (which he doesn't like).  He will eat a decent amount of food if he's watching a movie (and he loves watching movies, ugh) and the focus is on the movie and not food. He's kind of unconsciously eating while he watches. Yes, I will have to eventually break him of this habit but it does work for us right now.

4) The nutritionist said that I was giving him too large of portions that migh overwhelm him.  I was giving him what I hoped he would eat, not what he would realistically eat.  I try to limit what I give him a bit more.  He can always ask for more (and he does) if he wants more.  She also stressed that since they have such tiny stomachs, even thought it seems like he isn't eating much, it is really a lot for him.

5) The nutritionist said to never show him you are frustrated by them not eating.  I wasn't doing this anyways, but I can see how it could easily happen.  When she won't eat, just act like it isn't a big deal.  Put the food in the fridge and offer it again later if possible.

BBS!

I would have EI out again to test for autism. The delayed language and food refusals (can be sensory or oral motor) are red flags. Early intervention is key. If it is not autism it sounds like work with a speech pathologist that works on oral motor and speech development is crucial! Be an advocate and keep fighting for testing and services!