SDG at brunch

BookishMomma

Oh boy. Two friends invited me out to brunch today to "get my mind off" my miscarriage (though no one ever comes out and says the word). One of them is 8 months pregnant, yet still so sweet and sympathetic. I love her for coming and facing me even though it was uncomfortable.

But... I had 2 mimosas and quickly turned into SDG (Sad Drunk Girl). I'm afraid that after the year I've had I'm turning into such a Debbie Downer that no one is ever going to want to hang out with me. (Wah-waaaaah) But I just can't put on a happy face right now, you know? I can joke and make sarcastic remarks and try to be funny but I absolutely cannot be lighthearted without feeling fake and wanting to stab my eyes out. I know that real friends will meet me where I'm at, but I still hate knowing that I'm laying such a giant pile of turds on any friend who asks how I'm doing.

Yes, I'm seeing a shrink, per usual. Just needed to vent.

megrae12

Vent away, my love. I will hang out with you whenever, of course geography is in the way....

nikiswimr

Oh man, I was totally SDG after my loss.  One of my good friends got married that weekend.  I proceeded to drink all the wine... and then cry.  Not ideal at a wedding.  Since then I've tried to reign in my SDG until I'm home with MH.  

I'm sorry it sucks.  ((Hugs))

renegadewhit

I don't think any person in their right mind would expect you to be lighthearted. If they're asking how your doing and they're real friends, they really do care, even if they don't understand.

It sucks that you're going through this, but please take care of yourself first, and don't worry what other people think.

mflowers929

SDG away. We're here

Km380

Vent away sweetie. And for the record I would totally hang out out with you!

rslh10

((hugs)) my love. I am so sorry you SDG'ed at brunch

ETA-I mixed up my meal times.

BookishMomma

@greeneyes842 ((Hugs)) honey

Nikolie93

One reason I love this board is because we can vent. I'm sorry you turned into SDG but most of us has been there. *hug*

FutureMrsWright2012

I'm so sorry. You are a much stronger person than I... I am 6+ weeks since my loss, and I still haven't been able to bring myself around to seeing my SIL who's pregnant. Big hugs to you. 

MrsKush1014

I'm sorry you're feeling that way, I'm sure that they can understand why you're down though. None of this is easy. So many ((hugs)) and vent to us whenever you need!

O2girl

Oh bookish! I'm so sorry. I'm certain your friends understand the why behind everything, even if they have no clue what it feels like. Big (((((hugs)))))) sweetie

skategirl128

So many hugs! I'm sure they understand. So much love your way!

ellebelle2384

Right there with you, even though it feels like it you are not alone.  Sending you so many hugs and much love.

EIsieMae

I'm so sorry. I've been SDG a time or two also. ::hugs::

bookwormfnp

I've been the SDG more than once. I learned that my friends really do care it just hard for both parties but they wouldn't ask if they didn't care about you.

meredithcarole

Don't feel badly for not being able to put on a brave face.  It's not about your friends right now, it's about you.   It's about you because you've been through 4 losses.  It's about you because the 4th one just happened.  It's about you because there is no "getting your mind off it," nor will there be for quite some time. Don't be afraid to ask for what you need from your friends.  If you need to be SDG while they listen and ply you with more alcohol, then god dammit you have every right.  

flyoffeve

Vent. Let it out. (Hugs)

rubysi

I am sorry it feels like a lie to smile. I did the fake it till you make it approach. I smiled everyday, even though I didn't want to, I laughed even though nothing seemed funny, I made conversation even though it was painful, and I drank too much...way too much. I wish your year had a different outcome. ((HUGS))

alm288

I don't think they would expect you to be all happy go lucky at this point. Vent away and take the time you need! (((Hugs)))

BookishMomma

@rubisi that meme is spot on. Love it.

eliida

Keep venting. ((Hugs)) I find that the more I fake it, the more intensely I lose it. This is what you need right now. No explanations, no apologies.

dawnstar898

You can lay all your turds here girl!  I'm sure your good friends understand, I mean that's what friends are for right?  Good times and bad.   (((hugs)))

uromys

I'm sorry bookish! I tend to turn into SGD a lot anymore, and like mine, I'm sure your friends understand. That's why they take you out. Putting on the brave face is easy to do behind closed doors of texts and phone calls, but I tend to break down with a few glasses of wine. Lots of hugs and positive vibes. Vent away. We are happy to listen!

stephy1221

Hugs, I am sure they understand as best they can. True friendship is more than just celebrating the highs you gotta be there for the lows. So sorry hun.