I would call back. I don't see why they would hold it against you. You thought about it, talked about it, and it just doesn't feel right for you. It happens. We turned down an almost identical scenario. Although I felt terrible at the time, our SW assured us that it was better than going into something we weren't prepared for.
I'd call back. I don't think it's good to put an EP in the spot of possibly selecting you and then being let down to find out you're not interested in the placement.
TTC #1 9/11-12/12, 9/12 Dx: Hypothyroid + DOR (AMH .76), IUI #1 & #2 BFN's 1/13 Decided to pursue DIA, 4/13 Home study Approved 9/13 Matched! 10/13 DS home with us! 2/14 TPR completed 5/14 ADOPTION IS FINAL! 3/14 Surprise BFP 11/14 DD is here!
I'd call back also. Like everyone above me has said, it's better to do it now than later. If you feel in your heart it isn't right, then don't do it. I also turned down being shown and although it broke my heart, I knew deep down it was the best decision. ((hugs))
January 2014--Picked Agency, had informational Meeting and turned in Application
June 2014--Started our Home Study (all paperwork &fingerprinting that ensued)
August 2014--Finished our Home Study and Officially Waiting
I'm just agreeing with pp. If you're heart isn't feeling it, don't show your book. What if the EM selects you after a painstaking process and then you decline. That's not fair to her or other PAP's. It's a tough enough process that you should be all in, for everyone's sake.
We actually found out they had chosen another couple (friends of ours) before I had the chance to get in touch with anyone to let them know our feelings.
Re: Removed
1/13 Decided to pursue DIA, 4/13 Home study Approved 9/13 Matched!
10/13 DS home with us! 2/14 TPR completed 5/14 ADOPTION IS FINAL!
3/14 Surprise BFP 11/14 DD is here!
I'm just agreeing with pp. If you're heart isn't feeling it, don't show your book. What if the EM selects you after a painstaking process and then you decline. That's not fair to her or other PAP's. It's a tough enough process that you should be all in, for everyone's sake.
5 Angels