Having a hard time emotionally with weaning — The Bump
Attachment Parenting

Having a hard time emotionally with weaning

karah4816karah4816 member
edited November 2014 in Attachment Parenting
so, I was always planning to BF my twins for at least a year but I recently had a week long hospital stay and I've never responded well to the pump. I couldn't even nurse them when they came to see me once a day because of the medications I was on. so of course I now have basically no milk. plus, the babies seem to have easily transitioned to formula from the bottles and aren't at all interested in nursing. while I'm happy that they seem to have had an easy time weaning I can't help but be sad that I didn't make it to my goal (they're 11 months) and I'm just feeling really sad about not nursing. when I try to talk to my husband about it all he says is "you nursed as long as you could, you did great, don't worry about it" which is true but doesn't make me feel any better. I never really was one to think nursing was this magical bonding time between mother and baby, I always just thought of it as a way to feed and sooth them but now that I can't do it I find myself missing it. plus, I really hate to spend money on what (to me) is a less than ideal milk. I don't really know if I have a question or anything, I just needed to vent to people who I hope will understand since no one in my real life seems to.

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Re: Having a hard time emotionally with weaning

  • Big hugs to you! I can only imagine how you must feel. I don't have any advice other than maybe seeing a lc to see about re-establishing nursing? I don't know how long it's been since a this happened but maybe worth a shot?
  • I couldn't nurse starting at 7 weeks (not that it was going very well, anyway) because of hospitalization and new medication. I definitely feel for you. Glad you made it to 11 months. You'll be transitioning them to regular milk in a cup before long.
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  • Congrats on 11 months.  I thought I would share this with you.  When I read your post, I thought "she is a successful breastfeeding mother."  All of our stories are slightly different, but you have done a great thing for your children.  
  • Congratulations on nursing 11mo!

    If you want to continue nursing your babies, call a LLL Leader or IBCLC for some tips. If it's only been a couple weeks, you're still lactating, and you breastfed for long enough that it shouldn't take too much to reestablish your supply. Your babies may also be convinced to return to the breast via skin to skin.

    Good luck, and know that even if you're done nursing your babies, you're always learning new and wonderful ways of loving them!
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  • I agree that part of this is hormonal.

    Part of this is also natural, because no matter when you wean, you're ending a specific time in your life.  Just as some people mourn turning 30.  It's an acknowledgement that your children are getting older, more independent.  Which is great, but hard.

    And I bet your husband understands more than you think, but he also wants to make you feel better.  A lot of men don't understand venting, they hear a problem and want to fix it.  Try telling him you just need an "awwww baby" ;-)
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  • Hugs and hoping things get better! Just know that 11 months is awesome!!!
    First time mommy-to-be
    E.D.D. June 1, 2014

  • Thanks everyone, I really appreciate your responses. I agree that it's probably at least partly hormones and I think part of it is also being so close to my goal without making it. Plus, the health issues I was in the hospital for have not been resolved so it feels like I was forced to wean for nothing.

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  • I really wanted to nurse DS until he was 2, but it became too painful to nurse with my pregnancy, and we stopped at 23 months. I was in no way ready and took it really hard that we didn't make it to our goal. But you know what? He is totally fine. I think I was way more upset than he was.

    BFing for as long as you did is a huge accomplishment. You did a great job and you should be proud! Sometimes life gets in the way of our plans. It sounds like your twins are happy and healthy. PPs gave good advice about trying to reestablish nursing if that's something you wish to do. It certainly isn't too late to try!

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  • Hugs!  I nursed both of my kiddos until about the 11 month mark.  Both weaned at that point under different circumstances, but it was not my choice either time.  I was pretty sad both times, but I realized that if I had pushed them to continue, it would have been more about me and not so much what they wanted or needed.  So, I reluctantly let that phase go. 

    As a parent you will face many such transitions.  I try to stay focused on the positive aspects of the new phase my family is entering.  There's always a trade-off when your child outgrows something or grows into a new stage.
    High School English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

    DD, born 9/06/00 -- 12th grade
    DS, born 8/25/04 -- 7th grade
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