Fights with SO

Pisces35

We try very very hard to not fight in front of the baby, so a lot of times my anger gets supressed. Whats your outlet for getting rid of your anger? Is it a screaming match with you SO? Working out? Throwing things lol?

babylimas

We are very unhealthy fighters. Snide comments that escalate to yelling. Usually ends with me calling him an asshole and locking myself in the bedroom. Luckily it is very rare.

In my defense, he is an asshole.

linzerd

We don't really have "fights".  We may bicker or act like assholes to each other, but an all out fight is pretty rare in our house.  Fights with my mother...now those are a regular occurrence.  We live upstairs from my parents and they watch her while I work, so when I go to get her it's inevitable that my mother is going to say something that will piss me off.  Sometimes she doesn't even say anything I just have an unhealthy hatred, yes hatred towards her.  Anyway, I am trying my hardest not to argue with her while I am holding my daughter, but we are fixing the problem by putting her in daycare more days a week and I am reducing the days a week that I work.  So my mother won't be watching her at all come January.  January can't come fast enough!

scrumpfy

Hate sex.

I'm only kind of kidding.

kimberpoo

DH and I almost never fight, and our fights are more like heated disagreements. when we are mad though, we will usually try to talk it out. if that escalates, I will give him the silent treatment / cold shoulder until we are both calm enough to finish talking it out.

I will say for the record, he is ALWAYS WRONG when it comes to our disagreements, but for the sake of just being done with the issue I usually just let it all go. (mostly we disagree about cleaning or stupid stuff). we, ladies, are superior beings and must often take the high road.....even when we just want to get drunk and cuss.

lindsey1031

We don't fight much anymore but it was like what @babylimas said. Now I pre-warn him with a friendly, "life is about to become very un-fun if you don't keep your (insert mistake here) tendencies in check". That usually works as he's finally learned what comes next. It only took 11 years.

Edit for spelling

kaking78

We start out fighting in an adult way with reasoned discussion and "When you do ___ I feel ___" but is usually ends with him getting pissed off and storming off to bed, which infuriates me because I want to talk about the issue, not ignore it. We don't scream in front of J but I do use my angry bitchy voice.

Yeah, we need to work on this too. Can anyone recommend a book or something about how to fight productively?

angelsnight

jsmath said:

bennieangel said:

babylimas said:

We are very unhealthy fighters. Snide comments that escalate to yelling. Usually ends with me calling him an asshole and locking myself in the bedroom. Luckily it is very rare.

In my defense, he is an asshole.

Samesies. 

Edit - I should add that I am an unhealthy fighter. It takes a lot to get MH worked up, so I usually escalate quickly, call a name, stomp off & then eventually either come back out or he comes in to say that I'm being ridiculous, and that gets me all angry again. 

I third this.

Fourthing this. I'm a yeller, and I throw things (not at anyone tho). Until I met MH I always dated such passive guys. I'd either get the silent treatment or my bf would be calm, saying please honey don't be mad, while I was yelling and pissed off. I was always like I just want a guy that will yell back at me and just get it all out. Well, I should have been careful what I wished for.

katykatykaty

Normally it's because he does something that makes me mad, so I stop talking to him for a day or two until I get over it.  Then we make up and talk about it.  

babylimas

bennieangel said:

I should also add that we don't "fight" often, but bicker a lot lately in the evenings. Usually about the "tone" in which something was said / asked. I think it's just tiredness = crabiness or something. We never used to be like that...most of the time it stops with a quick comment about something being rude or something. 

Ha! My H says I have a witching hour. He has learned to ignore me after 9:30 pm.

laurenann89

I'm so sick of fighting with my DH it's not even funny. Nothing gets resolved, and he's turned into an awful spouse/friend and we fight all the time. I promised myself the shit would stop since we have LO now. It hasn't. I'm seriously considering divorce. No help on how to resolve fights from me! Unfortunately.

nlane0723

angelsnight said:

jsmath said:

bennieangel said:

babylimas said:

We are very unhealthy fighters. Snide comments that escalate to yelling. Usually ends with me calling him an asshole and locking myself in the bedroom. Luckily it is very rare.

In my defense, he is an asshole.

Samesies. 

Edit - I should add that I am an unhealthy fighter. It takes a lot to get MH worked up, so I usually escalate quickly, call a name, stomp off & then eventually either come back out or he comes in to say that I'm being ridiculous, and that gets me all angry again. 

I third this.

Fourthing this. I'm a yeller, and I throw things (not at anyone tho). Until I met MH I always dated such passive guys. I'd either get the silent treatment or my bf would be calm, saying please honey don't be mad, while I was yelling and pissed off. I was always like I just want a guy that will yell back at me and just get it all out. Well, I should have been careful what I wished for.

Fifthing this. I'm a yeller, a foot stomper, and a door slammer. We went through a very rough patch after the infertility diagnosis and we fought all. the. time. We started therapy a few months ago and it has done wonders on our relationship. We still have ridiculous fights occasionally, but we have a cooling off period, I give him the silent treatment, he tells me I'm irrational, and then we laugh at how ridiculous the argument was in the first place.

myfriendscallmemeg

We don't fight, and if we do it's normally a disagreement. I'll get huffy & go to my room to CIO, where he comes & gets me once I've cooled off. He doesn't like to leave us mad at each other for long. So they're normally resolved within an hour or two.

laurenann89

@bandteacher‌ at least 3 times since LO was born. I've sat him down, explained how and why I felt the way I did, and why things need to change for us as a family. He's receptive and says things will change and they'll improve for a couple of days, then he's right back at it. He refuses to do therapy. I'm at a loss for what else I can do.

laurenann89

Yep. It's ultimatum time. He's either gonna shit, or get off the pot because I'm done waiting for things to change. Maybe that's not the best metaphor, but it's all I can think of at the moment haha

SmittyPants

When we fight it's because I'm pissed at something. I can't even say that it's a fight because my husband never gets angry. 

I'm a child when I'm pissed though. I slam doors and kick things. I'm trying SO hard to work on that because I don't want my kids to do the same. 

alfriedeck

i suppress my anger since Dh doesnt talk. To get rid of stress i shoot. Either my bow or a gun. My second job is at a gun range so i get plenty of free range time

justifyyourlove

SmittyPants said:

When we fight it's because I'm pissed at something. I can't even say that it's a fight because my husband never gets angry. 

I'm a child when I'm pissed though. I slam doors and kick things. I'm trying SO hard to work on that because I don't want my kids to do the same. 

This!  My husband is the most patient person I know along with my father.  I'm so happy my daughter has two incredible male figures in her life.