Someone is always crying :(

Poppy523

The last two days have been some for the books for us. I thought I was managing 2u2 but DD is constantly having meltdowns, DS absolutely needs to be held all the time and when one of them isn't crying I am from pure exhaustion of being up all night and then all day. I'm losing faith that I can keep this up

singingsea

Join me in a wine night? I feel you on the exhaustion. (((Hugs)))

kleigh926

2u2 sucks sometimes. DS wanted to be held a lot too when he was that little. Honestly, for my own sanity, I just had to accept that I couldn't do it. It's impossible to hold a baby constantly when you have another child and yourself to take care of too, unless you babywear all the time. He had to cry sometimes when I was giving DD a meal or taking care of her, and I didn't like hearing him cry, but I feel like that's just what happens with the second/third/etc. baby. I did babywear him occasionally so he felt like he was being held. Swaddling and putting him on his stomach sometimes helped too. He's much better with that now, and is content to lay under his activity gym or sit in his bouncy seat as long as we're in the same room and he's getting some interaction. I'm pretty much the opposite of attachment parenting though, so if you tend more that way, trying to get him used to not being held might not be for you. 

Poppy523

@sagen thanks I just needed a pep talk!

@singingsea‌ absolutely on the wine night!

@kleigh926‌ I think of one of your FFFCs, when you said sometimes your DS has to cry, all the time when I just can't get to M and one of my children just has to cry. I do my best but I can only be one place at a time so it makes me feel better to know I'm not dealing with it alone.

Tulips114

Hang in there mama!  You're going to be ok.  It gets easier.  ((hugs))

kelly321

You can do it, you can! 2u2 doesn't have its own board for no reason - it is freaking hard sometimes, but it DOES get easier. Grit your teeth and bear it for a little while longer and cry if you need to, I know I did (refer back to my response to Tarheel's post when I said there were afternoons/evenings when I just had to cry because the girls tag-teamed naps and I couldn't handle it)

Amstreagle

Just remember that you are an amazing parent and can make it through this!

Dannysmama

Aww. I feel you! I've been closely following all of the 2u2 F 13 mom's posts since we just joined the club on Sunday. Maybe because it didn't matter with DS1 but with DS2 he is like yours that he needs to be held and if he's not being held, he's nursing. So basically, I am useless, particularly to DS1. And that kills me, because I see family playing with him and hear him laugh and I have a newborn stuck on my boob. Throw in the hormones and the sleep deprivation and the guilt and I feel like a complete mess. And DS1 is acting out too, although he has always been stubborn and vocal. Yeah, and he is showing an interest in his brother but brotherly love, oh hell no.

So, I have no real life advice but holy shit this is hard. Hang in there - "the days are long but the years are short."

ericalee27

Dannysmama said:

holy shit this is hard. Hang in there - "the days are long but the years are short."

This is basically what I came to say.  I didn't have any good answers back when DS2 was born, nor do I have any good answers now (It's still hard for me!!!).   But hang in there --- you will figure out what works for you and your family.

Poppy523

Thanks ladies I'm trying to cherish the "newborn" days but it's hard to remember sometimes why. It helps to vent to women who understand and reminds me that plenty of you have done it and lived to encourage others!

lc&jw

Poppy523 said:

It helps to vent to women who understand and reminds me that plenty of you have done it and lived to encourage others!

This sentiment was one of the only things that got me through the first 6-12 months with my babies. I had many days, weeks, and let's face it, months, where I thought I might not survive this, at least not with my sanity intact.

Two little ones is just HARD! Getting used to the idea that sometimes my babies were going to have to cry and that there was nothing I could really do about it was one of the hardest things to accept about parenting. In the beginning 2 crying babies led to absolute panic on my part. The anxiety was terrible. Over time I also started to feel frustrated, sad, and overwhelmed about it. Eventually I got to a place where I could accept that some times both kids would be crying or one kid would be crying while I was tending to the other, and to realize that it was okay. I think it was easier to finally accept when I could see that my babies were still thriving and happy despite my not being able to meet their every need in the moment.

Hang in there. You're in the trenches my dear. This will get easier as your DS gets a little older and can do a little more for himself. Hugs!

tamarar5

I've been in the same boat this week! The crying, the snoring, the coughing, tantrums, and blood curdling screaming... It's terrible. You aren't alone!

ally2011

We have had a 6 week old foster baby for a week. I feel your pain sister. It will get better.....it has to, right?!?!