+++ Autumn Acorn Check-in 11/13 +++

tweetyknicks

Welcome to the Autumn Acorns Check-In!!! Check-ins will be every Monday & Thursday. Your check-in leaders are @katemonster1 (Monday) and @tweetyknicks (Thursday).

This is a check-in for those doing IVF/IVM or FET with an ER/ET scheduled for October. If you would like to join, please fill us in on your cycle below. Please include what cycle number this is for you, where you are in the process, when you expect to start stims, and when you're planning on retrieval and transfer. (Also, please update us along the way!)

The group badge is linked on our inaugural post.

QOTD: What fictional character do you think you are most like?

BFP!!! Congrats!!

@caringcat FET#1

@chicory IVF#1 

@cml11 IVF#2  (cautiously optimistic - FX for doubling!)

@erbear84 IVF#1

@futuremrsbaldwin2012 IVF#1 FX!!! ((hugs))

@katemonster1 IVF#2

@lao12 IVF#1

@lynnlee7 IVF#1  U/S on 11/12)

@sunny_b FET#2

BFN ((Hugs))

@aliciafiggy IVF#2

@chicago IVF#2 

@fayth4one IVF#2 (all arrested - (Hugs))

@k1111k IVF#1 (all arrested - (Hugs))

@obizyanka IVF#1

@o2girl FET#3

@runforcookies FET#3 

@saratrying IVF#2

@tifga FET#1

@tweetyknicks IVF#1

 

PUPO!!

@km721 IVF#3  (FX for warm embryo)

Cycle Completed (freeze all)

@aggiejess2007 IVF#1  (FET#1 in Nov)

@callalily30 IVF#3 

@ifmamaainthappy IVF#1 

@lilycakes78 IVF#1  (FET #1 in Feb)

@mrscw IVF#1

@tumbleweed123 IVF#1 (freeze all)

 

Delayed (((Hugs)))

@bcara11 FET#1 

@daashuriaa IVF #2 

@frenchteachermama FET#1

tweetyknicks

I confirmed this morning that hiding under the covers does *not* make the world go away. Dammit.

Waiting for the nurse to get back to me with my January FET schedule.

QOTD: Elizabeth Bennett from Pride and Prejudice, or so my mom says.

chicory

Beta on Tuesday was 252! I am relieved, humbled, and still afraid that something could go wrong. I can't help thinking of so many of our Acorns that were unsuccessful and it makes me feel guilty, which I realize is irrational, but still. Second beta is tomorrow. QOTD: No freaking clue, really. I guess I'm lame.

fayth4one

@chicory‌ CONGRATULATIONS! !!!! Awesome beta...enjoy every moment of it!! I read an article a while ago about the guilt IF patients feel after achieving a pregnancy.
AFM: After a serious heart to heart last night we decided NOT to do a December cycle. I was trying to *squeeze* it in before changing insurance companies but there is a good possibility that our embabies could arrest again. I'm just not willing to take that risk. So we are on a 3 month pause. DH is on 25mg per day of clomid and I've ordered the suplements recommended by RE. He is also working on weight management and reducing BMI. Unfortunately for him the brunt of this pause is on him. Meanwhile I'm planning a vacation! The desire to "run away" hasn't left since we got the call that there wasn't anything to transfer. So I think a little R & R is in order. I feel bad spending $$ on it but I've got to recharge! ! The plan is to cycle again in February and I'll be on BCP in the meantime due to extended cycles with PCOS. As for the question of the day...I'm Rory from Gilmore Girls (my ALL time favorite show) all the way!!! Much luck and love to you all!!!!

FutureMrsBaldwin2012

Nothing new to update, just waiting for this agonizing week to be over. Our ultrasound will be Monday at noon. This will probably be the worst weekend of my life. The not knowing is the worst part of it. I just want to know either way so I can move on. I'm preparing myself for bad news, which may not be the healthiest thing since all I do is cry now my hubby is going hunting this weekend so to top it off I'll be alone all weekend until right before our ultrasound. I'm hoping and praying so hard that I will have a good update for you all on Monday.

fayth4one

@FutureMrsBaldwin2012‌ ((HUGS)) to you. You are in a tough spot! Sad that you will be alone. Call up a few friends and have an impromptu girls weekend (if you are "out") anything I'm sure would be a distraction! Positive thoughts headed your way for Monday!

tweetyknicks

@chicory Yay!

@fayth4one Call it an IF expense.

@futuremrsbaldwin2012 FX still for Monday. I know it's really hard to pull yourself out of a rut. Is there anything that you can do to just escape? I'd probably try a Harry Potter marathon or something similar.

FutureMrsBaldwin2012

I really want to ask him to stay home but he has been looking forward to this weekend for awhile. I'm sure he needs the time for himself to try to forget about what we are going through. My best friend has already offered to "babysit" me this weekend and her bridal shower is also on Sunday so that will help. Tomorrow will be lunch, shopping, dinner and movies. Saturday will be manicures and dinner. I'm so thankful to have her!!

@fayth4one‌ I'm glad that you have a distraction of planning a vacation. So jealous! If things don't go well for us next week I think that we will plan for a vacay in February to go somewhere tropical with many drinks.

Thank you all for your kind words, nobody understands what we go through dealing with IF. The people that I have told have all been very supportive but I have gotten a few "well you can just try again" kind of responses. Wish it was that easy.

KM721

Congrats @chicory! We all deserve this, including you--no guilt! 

@FutureMrsBaldwin--I am sorry you will be solo this weekend. I bet DH would be ready to support you if you asked, but I'm glad you have a friend in place as safety! 

AFM: I updated the last check-in yesterday about this, but I was pretty devastated yesterday when we got the news that nothing made it to freeze. In my mind, those "early blasts" that didn't make to freeze are just like the two we transferred, so I'm imagining they have arrested too. I am taking it as a BFN because I just can't get my hopes up and have them dashed again. 

I have jumped to future planning--like you, @fayth4one! I am pretty decided that DH and I will go away for Xmas if this is indeed a BFN. That also means asking my mom to postpone her trip to visit us. Honestly, it is hard for me to handle her for four days anytime, but in the midst of considering cycle #4 and possibly other options, I just don't think that would be best for my mental health. I'm feeling really depressed overall. 

QOTD: My students always compare me to the mom on Gilmore Girls. I don't know if that is flattering or not because I don't watch the show! 

fayth4one

@KM721‌ I'm sorry you had nothing to freeze..it is a heartbreak only few understand :-( I know it's tough to stay positive but the clinics job is to choose the best of the best to transfer back so have some hope. I have found that planning the Vaca is really helping my mood plus I've given myself "permission " to do all the things I haven't done for 6+ months (drinks, caffeine, bad foods, hot water. ..) that alone takes some of the pressure off!!!! And BTW...being compared to the mom (Lorelai) on GG is the highest compliment I can think of! I'd love to be like her especially as a mom! Watch the show just once you'll love it!!!

tweetyknicks

@km721 Some docs say that embryos are more likely to survive in the woman's body than in a lab, so maybe the two you transferred will have a better chance at making it.

CaringCat

@chicory congrats!! I know what you mean about feeling guilty! I wanted to post the second I saw a bfp but instantly felt really bad about everyone that was struggling. Totally been there too many times and it sucks so bad.

AFM - things are going good. Just crossing my fingers that something is still growing. I'm paranoid all the time that I had a miscarriage or was mistaken and I'm actually not pregnant. We'll see if there's really something there on the 24th!

QOTD: Snow White, Belle - get those two a lot and I've played both of the parts before.

Hoping for good news for all you lovely acorns!

CML11

Loss mentioned--


I am just writing to update. It's bad news, my Beta dropped to 22 (23 to 43 to 22). Got the news at 11:30 and had to go the remainder of my work day. I wouldn't have listened to the message if it would have been bad news. Getting blindsided with bad news when you are so sure it's going to be good, is really not good. I am not one of those pretty criers. I decided to go walking for my lunch instead of sitting with all my co-workers.
One nurse said chemical pregnancy, the RE said miscarriage. I guess I'll find out at the WTF appointment. Maybe at least if it's a m/c I would at least know that I could implant. Trying so hard to find anything positive. It just hurts so much.

FutureMrsBaldwin2012

@CML11‌ I am so very sorry for your loss. Nothing can prepare you for that kind of news. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

saratrying

warning.....need to move me from BFN to BFP

I'm not really sure how to write this because it doesn't seem real, and I'm worried that typing this out and putting it "out there" is going to somehow ruin it. My RE called late in the day Tuesday to tell me that after 5 years of trying (4 years with REs) we had our first positive. I thought she was kidding. In fact, I told her she had the wrong person. It couldn't be possible. But it is. 

My first beta came back at 121. I had to see for myself and tested at home Wednesday. I cried when I saw those two elusive, glorious lines I've been waiting to see for so long. I had my second beta today and it came back at 287. 

I'm trying to be optimistic and realistic, and I can't let myself get too carried away. But I am excited. And more importantly, for the first time in a long time I feel hope about this journey. 

FutureMrsBaldwin2012

Congrats @saratrying‌!!!

chicory

Aaahhh!!! @saratrying‌ that is so awesome! Congrats!!!

LAO12

Hi everyone

***warning - vent and BFP mentioned*****

Sorry I have been MIA.  Honestly, I didn't want to come back because I felt guilty sharing my good news then all of my anxiety associated with that good news.  While I got my BFP on Friday Nov 7 and second beta on Nov 10, I still don't believe the news.  Actually, I have gone into complete denial about the whole situation.  I feel horrible saying this because so many of you are suffering and I feel your pain (crying as typing).  I guess this whole IVF process has just brought all of the hurt and anger I have been feeling since March to the surface.  I have been having re-occuring and intense m/c dreams that wake me up throughout the night. I have no pregnancy symptoms so I am convienced this was a fail (despite the betas).  I am getting really frustrated with DH because he is so optamistic and positive, he just doesn't understand what I am feeling.  I have my first U/S on Monday and am frustrated that my RE didn't schedule it sooner.  I am terrified this will be another ectopic - I lost alot of blood on the last and went into cardiac arrest (almost died).  I just want to know there is a sac in there, in the correct place that is growing.  I don't care to hear the heart beat right now.  I just want to know that this is real and I am not going to die.  I know that sounds excessive..  I can't really share this with DH because, while all in love, he just makes me feel bad for having these feelings.

Thanks for listening.  Congrats to the other BFP and many many hugs to BFNs.

FutureMrsBaldwin2012

@LAO12‌ I'm so sorry that you are having these feelings, but they are completely justified given your history. I hope and pray that your first ultrasound goes great for you.

KM721

So sorry to hear your news @CML11. Getting news like that in the middle of the day is the worst. I got the news about my freeze report via email in the middle of a conversation I was having with a co-worker during my prep period. I got quiet pretty fast. I really feel for you!  So sorry!

@saratrying--Huge congrats to you! 

@LAO12--I can totally relate to the difference between your feelings and DH's feelings. My DH is also super positive. Even though many times that is a good thing, it can really be a misfit sometimes when I am trying to protect myself or am just going off on a worry tangent. I really hope for the best for you and now Monday's not so far away! 

@FutureMrsBaldwin2012--You'll have to let us know how the weekend went on tomorrow's check-in! 

tweetyknicks

***CP mentioned***

@cml11 So sorry to hear the news. I had a CP this past summer from my first IUI, but my beta only reached 22. The doc said his office considers it a CP if the beta stays below 100 and a miscarriage if beta reaches 100 at any point.

@lao12 I think I will be in denial for a while, too, and afraid that it will go away. I think your feelings and fears are completely natural.

@saratrying Congrats, and GL!