Santa question

Mindyvl

I was reading the on the Elf on the Shelf thread and got to thinking.  Neither my family or DH's  never ready did Santa, the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, etc.  I was probably the kid spoiling the Santa magic on the playground.  Looking back, both of us felt a little cheated on the magic of everything, especially at Christmas.  So, even though LO is too young to participate in most of this, we're spending a lot of time thinking about what kind of traditions we want to incorporate.

I loved the Kindness Elves idea that was mentioned in that thread.  DH and I own a small business and do a big Toys for Tots drive every year with our employees and customers.  So, that is very close to our hearts.  

So, here's my question, if you celebrate with the idea of Santa, how do you explain to your children the idea of those less fortunate and that we should give to them at Christmas?  By that logic, why wouldn't Santa bring those children exactly what they ask for?  

Also, how do you handle things if LO asks Santa for something that you aren't willing to give (i.e a puppy, something too elaborate or not age appropriate)?

babygabe614

Good questions.

Regarding Santa and the less fortunate - my stepson never asked, and LO is too young obviously but I think I would say that sometimes people grow up with very little, and they may wish for something different than we would. Those people may ask Santa for food or shelter, and while Santa tries his best to give all children what they ask for, we should always try to help our neighbor ourselves and not depend on someone else to do it. 

Now about the gifts, for one we have always kept Christmas small. With my stepson (he is 9) we do about 5-6 gifts and a stocking. That's it. Santa also only gives ONE gift in our house (usually the biggest/best one) and the rest come from us. This kind of ties into how we teach our kids that you have to work hard to afford to have special things like presents. When one of the kids wanted something extravagant that we couldn't afford/didn't think was appropriate, honestly we have just told our stepson no, and that we would let Santa know that we did not think that gift was appropriate for this year, but Santa could pick something else just as fun/exciting for him (for example when he asked for an iPod touch when he was 6 or 7 yrs old... sorry, not happening). I'm sure there are better ways to go about that one but that's what we did in the moment it happened. lol

ashanne88

When I was little we got a stocking and a couple of gifts from Santa and also got gifts from our parents and sibling (we will be doing the same with DS). This means that Santa isn't the only gift giver, nor does Santa bring everything on your list.  I think this is important to make clear from the beginning and can help with your second question.  When I was little, I was so caught up in the magic and excitement of Christmas morning that I don't remember wondering about the things I didn't get.  I was too excited about the presents I did get.

 In regards to your first question, I agree with PP.  You can also explain that Santa tries but sometimes he cannot make it to everyone, which is why it is important to help him out to make sure all the children get something special for Christmas.

Edit: words

augustusgoose

I never gave my LO a gift from 'us'. Between the gifts he got from grandparents, aunts and uncles, Santa, he really didn't need anything else and it was getting excessive. He never even noticed or cared. Xmas eve we go to my parents for gift exchange from the family (my side) usually later, by the time we get home he was ready for bed so Santa could come. Next day Santa gift(s) and then SO family plus a couple Xmas dinners somewhere. Our Santa gifts were usually just one big item that he's been wanting and some candy in his stocking.

As far as questions the kids kinda didn't question to much. There is so much 'info' out there that they think they know.

FAWKES81

I'm a FTM so I don't have any answers for this but years ago, before I was even TTC I thought about how I would explain Santa when the whole "he's not real" thing came up.  So, I wrote a letter for my future child.  Yeah, I'm weird like that but if any of  you would like to use/incorporate any of these ideas yourself in the future I'm OK with that.  Please note, this is religious based so it may not work for everyone.

A thought for my child/ children one day:

Santa Claus

When at some point someone tells you that “there is no such thing as Santa Claus” I know you will be devastated.  You will think back on many childhood memories and feel like they were all false.

My child, please do not cry for Santa Claus is real.  He may not be the jolly fat bearded man of your fantasies, but he is real none the less.  As the song Here Comes Santa Claus puts it, “he knows if you have been bad or good, and rich or poor he loves you just the same”.  YOUR personal Santa Claus loves you more than their life. 

Each and every gift you have ever or will ever receive has been a gift of love.  Those gifts that you receive at Christmas time are meant to represent the ultimate gift that was ever given.  The gift of Jesus Christ, the son of God, born to a virgin named Mary many, many years ago.  That infant grew and learned (just like you) until one day he died on a cross – not because he was a bad man, but because he loved us so much that HE died for our sins.

People try to personify this gift but they realize that no other man or woman could ever live up to this.  So, they created a man -- a jolly fat guy with a white beard that wears a red suit and comes down the chimney and flies a sled with eight reindeer who leads elves to create toys -- a man so unrealistic and fantastic to remind us all of the one true, perfect gift.

The gift of Jesus Christ from God.

 So, when that day comes that someone has told you that there is no Saint Nick, remember that although it may be true that there is no fat man who comes down the chimney, there is a Saint you can believe in – Jesus Christ.  Remember him at Christmas and every day and let that comfort your soul. 

Remember, wise men still seek him.

Mindyvl

Good thoughts on all of this.  I like the idea of explaining that some people's needs/wants are more basic than ours and that Santa only brings one gift to each child. I hope to teach service as a way of life, with the emphasis being on giving (vs. greed) at Christmas.

ashanne88

amtellez28 said:

DH and I have decided that to teach the slirit of giving, our kids would pick out a gift for each of us as well as for each other. As a kid, neither of us did that and we think it's a cool idea to get them involved in giving, not just receiving.

***stuck in box***

My brother and I always got presents for each other and our parents.  It was always fun to go Christmas shopping with each of our parents to pick out gifts.  I was always just as excited for everyone to open my gift to them as I was to open my own gifts.  Being involved definitely helps children appreciate the spirit of giving.  We will be doing this with our kids too.

Mindyvl

My parents did the same thing @ashanne88, as well as to pick out gifts for my grandparents.  They'd give me a budget and turn me loose in the mall. I'd make a whole day out of buying a handful of $5 gifts.  I'd come home and painstakingly wrap each gift myself.  We had the tradition that we'd each open one gift on Christmas Eve, I'd always make them open my gifts, because I was just so excited to give them.

Evo9380

amtellez28 said:

Growing up, all of my gifts were from parents except on special Santa gift. All of DH's gifts were from Santa, none from parents. We each want to do it the way we were brought up, and we can't agree. I know it's early, but can anyone suggest a middle ground/compromise. We usually meet half way when we don't agree.

I don't go here (was looking up something else about Christmas and found this) but why not do a few gifts from Santa and the big gift from you guys? Kind of the reverse of yours, and his compromise is only that one gift is from the parents. Good luck deciding