School-Aged Children
tinybugsmom
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7 yo constant arguing and not listening
tinybugsmom
member
Hi,
I need some advice. My 7 yo SD constantly argues with me (DH has sole custody, SD and I have a very close mom - daughter relationship). It feels like everything I ask her to do or anything I say she argues. Even if it is something stupid like how to spell a word, she will kick up a fuss.
I do not take part in the arguments. As soon as she starts I bring attention to what she is doing and end the conversation.
I have tried everything.... being positive with her and ignoring the comments she makes, giving her extra attention, praising her when she doesnt argue or when she listens the first time, taking away privilages, sending her to her room when she starts, removing myself when she starts.... we have tried reward and penalty system, setting a chart of what she needs to do so we don't have to remind her.... but it doesn't help.
She doesn't understand why she has to do things like chores or the things on her chart or doing something when we tell her to do it. She just wants things.... throws tantrums when she doesn't get her way.
She argues sometimes with DH, but not often. This behavior is saved for me and her older brother. DH supports me and does step in if I need, but tries to let her and I work it out.
This morning, I asked her to put her coat on, it is 7 degrees out. She is getting over an ear infection so the coat was nonnegotiable. She whined and argued for 5 minutes, then the drop off lady opened the door and was telling us to hurry up. So I yelled at her to put the coat on! She did and got out. This was after a very long morning of her fighting everything I said. I did not like this morning. I hate yelling at kids. But I am at a loss with what to do about this constant fighting me on everything.
I know a lot of girls fight with their moms, and I know 7 is a common whining and arguing age.... but I just need some ideas.
I need advice please.
I need some advice. My 7 yo SD constantly argues with me (DH has sole custody, SD and I have a very close mom - daughter relationship). It feels like everything I ask her to do or anything I say she argues. Even if it is something stupid like how to spell a word, she will kick up a fuss.
I do not take part in the arguments. As soon as she starts I bring attention to what she is doing and end the conversation.
I have tried everything.... being positive with her and ignoring the comments she makes, giving her extra attention, praising her when she doesnt argue or when she listens the first time, taking away privilages, sending her to her room when she starts, removing myself when she starts.... we have tried reward and penalty system, setting a chart of what she needs to do so we don't have to remind her.... but it doesn't help.
She doesn't understand why she has to do things like chores or the things on her chart or doing something when we tell her to do it. She just wants things.... throws tantrums when she doesn't get her way.
She argues sometimes with DH, but not often. This behavior is saved for me and her older brother. DH supports me and does step in if I need, but tries to let her and I work it out.
This morning, I asked her to put her coat on, it is 7 degrees out. She is getting over an ear infection so the coat was nonnegotiable. She whined and argued for 5 minutes, then the drop off lady opened the door and was telling us to hurry up. So I yelled at her to put the coat on! She did and got out. This was after a very long morning of her fighting everything I said. I did not like this morning. I hate yelling at kids. But I am at a loss with what to do about this constant fighting me on everything.
I know a lot of girls fight with their moms, and I know 7 is a common whining and arguing age.... but I just need some ideas.
I need advice please.
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Re: 7 yo constant arguing and not listening
I talked with SD about this morning, and asked her for ideas. We have done this before with little progress. But today she seems to be understanding. She asked to make a stop light like in her class room, with the same consequence of quiet time and writing a "think sheet", so we will do that and see how it goes.