PLEASE READ MY APOLOGY — The Bump
Infertility Veterans

PLEASE READ MY APOLOGY

edited November 2014 in Infertility Veterans
Where do I begin? Forgive the short book I'm about to write. I'm going to start off by apologizing to the members in this area. Yesterday was my first day as "a member" of the bump and I was excited to become part of this online community. After looking through several "titles" of threads...I came across this one as I thought it fit a description of me and what I had been through based off the title alone (Infertility Veterans" I had not read the forum description as I should have to find out it was only for members who fit into a specific criteria. My intent was to introduce myself to other ladies who had been through some of the same things as I had. Over the course of a year I've been through numerous hysterscopies...doped up with estrogen, progesterone injections...fresh cycles, FET's...suffered a miscarriage after transferring 3 embryos...then a BFN 2 months ago. To have a natural BFP was miraculous to me. This journey is so hard as many of you have been at this and have gone through far MORE than me. It's painful. After hearing from several people, I understand that my post was not appropriate based on not knowing you all in the same respect that you all know eachother. There are so many threads on this site, I just posted like I thought others did when they want to introduce themselves before joining a group. I am a very supportive woman who thinks and feels from my heart...so blame my error in judgement on that and not my character. I want to see everyone who has struggled...or is still struggling to become a mother nothing but success. One of the most natural things in the world has become a bumpy road to walk for us. I will never take my experiences for granted. All the days I was so angry at people when I saw them blessed with children...the children I wanted. People asking me constantly "So when are you going to have a baby???" Little did they know what I was going through and how I cried inside each time I was asked...then came home and cried my eyes out to my DH. Only women dealing with IVF can understand another woman dealing with it. It's hard to be happy for others when one is dealing with their own issues...but I still found a way to congratulate others through my pain and finally a victory has happened in my life. I almost gave up. It has been through online communities such as the bump that I've been able to rant, rave, cry, and scream. I understand that you all are very close and I apologize for my intrusion. I hope you all understand I had no ill intent and just wanted to share some of my personal journey with you on my first day. I want you all to have the children you most certainly deserve. I STILL BELIEVE THAT WITH GOD AND FAITH THAT ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE...all things means "all things" that leaves nothing out. I wanted you all to know that pain can turn into complete joy overnight sometimes in ways that we least expect. Perhaps you will...but perhaps you won't accept my apology, yet in still, I meant well and I'm very sorry.
Grateful&Thankful

Re: PLEASE READ MY APOLOGY

  • Hey, so, I'm sorry I didn't read every word (I'm in panic mode over here thanks to my DE IVF ER being today), and I also missed the thread yesterday. I just wanted to chime in and say thank you for your apology. I'm sorry for all you've been through. IF sucks... It's unfair that we all have to share the understanding of this pain.

    It sounds like you came here looking for support, and like you do need that support, but something went wrong. I don't know what because like I said, I missed it (thanks to the panic attacks and outbursts of ugly crying related to my cycle... Ugh). The only thing I'll point out is the board rule that members should be active on the Infertility or Success After Infertility boards for 6+ months prior to joining over here. It may seem like an arbitrary rule, but it's in place for a reason.... This is such a sensitive topic, and we've all been through hell.

    Good luck to you & thank you again for the apology.
    **SIGGY WARNING**

    Me: 32 DH: 35  TTC#1 since March 2012
    Dx: Poor Embryo Quality, Arcuate Uterus, Poor Uterine Blood Flow, Mild Endo, 
           Protein S Deficiency, Sjorgen's Syndrome 

    IUI #1-5: BFN
    Laparoscopy & Hysteroscopy: minimal endo, partial septoplasty
    IVF #1: 10R/6M/6F ~ Day 3 ET = BFN
    IVF #2: 14R/9M/5F ~ transfer canceled ~ all embryos arrested at 1-2 cell stage
    IVF #3: 9R/5M/5F ~ 1 frosty!
    IVF #4 (FET #1): BFN

    IVF #5 (DE IVF #1 with Dr. KK protocol): Currently PREGNANT!!!!!!
    Synthroid + Prednisone + Metformin + Baby Aspirin + Supplements Galore = 15+ pills a day
    Lupron + Lovenox + Delestrogen + IVIG + B/W = 2-5 pokes a day
    19R, 17M, 17F - transferred two Grade A blasts 11/16, four frosties!!!
    Beta #1 11/24 (13dpo/8dp5dt) = 367 ~ Beta #2 11/26 (15dpo/10dp5dt) = 709
    Beta #3 11/29 (18dpo/13dp5dt) = 1,997 ~ Beta #4 12/1 (20dpo/15dp5dt) = 3,403

    imageimageimage

    My Blog: Running and Dreaming for Two ~ All are Welcome!
  • edited November 2014
    RunCC37 said:

    Hey, so, I'm sorry I didn't read every word (I'm in panic mode over here thanks to my DE IVF ER being today), and I also missed the thread yesterday. I just wanted to chime in and say thank you for your apology. I'm sorry for all you've been through. IF sucks... It's unfair that we all have to share the understanding of this pain.

    It sounds like you came here looking for support, and like you do need that support, but something went wrong. I don't know what because like I said, I missed it (thanks to the panic attacks and outbursts of ugly crying related to my cycle... Ugh). The only thing I'll point out is the board rule that members should be active on the Infertility or Success After Infertility boards for 6+ months prior to joining over here. It may seem like an arbitrary rule, but it's in place for a reason.... This is such a sensitive topic, and we've all been through hell.

    Good luck to you & thank you again for the apology.

    Thank you for reading it and taking the time to respond. Wow good luck today with the donors retrieval! I know the panic attacks and crying spells that you spoke of can drive someone batty! That's great news. I hope lots of eggs come from her that you can use. Yes, I did come initially for support and to support...I saw something that said "introductions" and thought to introduce myself. Take care and best wishes today.

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