Anyone's LO not like Daddy?

jessb780

This is awful but my baby does not respond well to her Daddy... He's an amazing Dad but she cries whenever he picks her up! Am I the only one? How do I get her more comfortable with him? I try not to take her as soon as she cries so she can get used to him but it's so hard not to...

hurricanenellie

Could she be sensing a negative vibe? Not necessarily toward her but stress at work or something else she could be picking up on?

jessb780

He's a bit of a stress bucket in general so I try to tell him to speak softly, not to be so rough, etc. He had never even held a baby before do he's very rusty, doesn't know how to hold her, etc... It's so frustrating because I never get s break!! Trying to 'train' him but going crazy... He feels so bad about it too and wants to bond with her.. He changes and feeds her but she fusses the whole time..

barbiedoesbaby

I completely get this! For us I had to continuously resist the urge to jump in (EXTREMELY HARD!!) by telling myself that his attempts at calming are just as valid as mine and that he'd find what worked for him. I tried to constantly encourage and also make him feel like DS was fussy for me too and say something like "you're doing great - s/he's just so fussy today. I figured out today that s/he likes being xxxx (bounced, rocked, etc) so maybe try that." That way I hint without being overbearing and also help him feel like we're both in the same boat. Sure enough, DS smiles for him more than me now! DH still gets stressed when LO is crying but getting better at soothing each day. And I'm finally relaxing more when he's trying so it's a win win .

kaleb87

As much as I hate to admit it, my dh just isn't well with babies. The other day he even said I don't think ds likes me. That being said though my dh is awesome with our dd. Once she got I'd say 6 months that's when it really clicked for him.
I think his biggest problem is that ds can sense he is uneasy. My dh literally just holds him one way. Also my dh hasn't been around much since it is harvest. He is home maybe 7 hours to sleep. So once harvest is over maybe it will get a little better.
(I completely understand you about wanting a break!)

jht14

LO loves her daddy but he gets upset when she cries and it just makes the situation worse. He won't try different things to calm her and then just gives up. I've tried giving him hints but then I feel like I'm being a know it all. He's made different comments like "LO likes you better because you're home with her all the time" or "she's such a Mommy's girl since I went back to work". I feel bad but we wouldn't survive everyday if I hadn't learned how to care for her.

amom2four

My dh says "he doesn't like me" at least once a day. Hey, here's a thought... Put your phone down and calm the f down! He's very loud and shouty when the older kids get in trouble. Not yelling but just overly loud. I have to tell him to quit yelling when he's on the phone or even talking quite often. Plus he's not good at letting things from work go when he's home.

Babies feel stress and emotion. Oh and fear. They smell fear from a mile away. Things will get better but he's got to be comfortable and realize that this baby spent 40ish weeks hearing your heartbeat and listening to you and has only been on the outside a few weeks so there needs to be time to adjust to others.

RoniH718

My 9 week old has his days. He likes interacting with him but not being held so much.

lmk1566

My DH is the same way. Only I'm not responding well to this I tell him LO can sense your anxiety. He freaks out sometimes when the baby cries & it stresses me out. I'm convinced the more DH does this, my more LO will associate daddy with not comforting him. DH's answer is always a bottle. I just want him to understand that there are days when LO cries for hours & it's only me to comfort him.

aliciak316

My DD seriously hated her dad for about a 7 month period in her life. He couldn't hold her without her freaking out or at least just being extremely annoyed. I think it was because he's an aggressive loud person who has serve ADD and she's a sweet, calm, shy child. But now she's two and daddy is her favorite person, you should see how excited she is when he gets home, so adorable.
My son on the other hand could not care less who's holding him or what you're doing, has long as his fed

str13

amom2four said:

My dh says "he doesn't like me" at least once a day. Hey, here's a thought... Put your phone down and calm the f down! He's very loud and shouty when the older kids get in trouble. Not yelling but just overly loud. I have to tell him to quit yelling when he's on the phone or even talking quite often. Plus he's not good at letting things from work go when he's home.

Babies feel stress and emotion. Oh and fear. They smell fear from a mile away. Things will get better but he's got to be comfortable and realize that this baby spent 40ish weeks hearing your heartbeat and listening to you and has only been on the outside a few weeks so there needs to be time to adjust to others.

This!! OMG this!! They absolutely smell fear!! And my DH gets frustrated, and LO has been a very fussy baby because of reflux etc. and DH just escalates! Chill out. Breath. She has to calm down at some point. Stop trying to play with your phone or whatever!!

rose913

str13 said:

amom2four said:

My dh says "he doesn't like me" at least once a day. Hey, here's a thought... Put your phone down and calm the f down! He's very loud and shouty when the older kids get in trouble. Not yelling but just overly loud. I have to tell him to quit yelling when he's on the phone or even talking quite often. Plus he's not good at letting things from work go when he's home.

Babies feel stress and emotion. Oh and fear. They smell fear from a mile away. Things will get better but he's got to be comfortable and realize that this baby spent 40ish weeks hearing your heartbeat and listening to you and has only been on the outside a few weeks so there needs to be time to adjust to others.

This!! OMG this!! They absolutely smell fear!! And my DH gets frustrated, and LO has been a very fussy baby because of reflux etc. and DH just escalates! Chill out. Breath. She has to calm down at some point. Stop trying to play with your phone or whatever!!

What is it with these men and there phones! My husbands phone addiction is a constant battle in our house!

kearls227

rkang01 said:

str13 said:

amom2four said:

My dh says "he doesn't like me" at least once a day. Hey, here's a thought... Put your phone down and calm the f down! He's very loud and shouty when the older kids get in trouble. Not yelling but just overly loud. I have to tell him to quit yelling when he's on the phone or even talking quite often. Plus he's not good at letting things from work go when he's home.

Babies feel stress and emotion. Oh and fear. They smell fear from a mile away. Things will get better but he's got to be comfortable and realize that this baby spent 40ish weeks hearing your heartbeat and listening to you and has only been on the outside a few weeks so there needs to be time to adjust to others.

This!! OMG this!! They absolutely smell fear!! And my DH gets frustrated, and LO has been a very fussy baby because of reflux etc. and DH just escalates! Chill out. Breath. She has to calm down at some point. Stop trying to play with your phone or whatever!!

What is it with these men and there phones! My husbands phone addiction is a constant battle in our house!

All of this!!! DH gets so frustrated when DS won't stop crying which then in part frustrates me!! He won't try anything other than a bottle or paci half the time. I try to suggest things in a non overbearing way but he doesn't always give them a try and by then he's so frustrated that I just take LO to calm them both. I figure it will just take some time. So glad I'm not the only one though experiencing this!

HorseLover11

We watched the happiest baby on the block (you can download it from amazon) and also had all the grandparents watch it as well. It makes it easier for me to refer back to their techniques. At first DH didnt do really anything we learned but then started to after I referenced it back a few times and he sees how it can work. Just an idea that might help you.

jessb780

I'm definitely going to wear his shirts- great suggestion! There really isn't a nurturing bone in his body so it's so foreign for him to soothe... Another uphill baby battle... I'll keep showing him the way and keep him close when I'm with her. Thanks!

herecomesthesun086

My LO started this yesterday with SO... She has always responded well to him but yesterday I was the only one who could soothe her... She's been so fussy and clingy lately too I don't know what is up but I couldn't even take a very much needed nap after SO got off of work yesterday because she cried the entire time I left her with him while I was trying to sleep

Ahlome08

I agree with PPs who said they smell fear! I think it may be because I'm home with DS more, but he's also used to me soothing him because DH always hands him to me when he's fussy. It's irritating, so I try to help him out and encourage him that he's doing fine. It started out, only DH could soothe him, and now it's me lol.

amom2four

rkang01 said:

str13 said:

amom2four said:

My dh says "he doesn't like me" at least once a day. Hey, here's a thought... Put your phone down and calm the f down! He's very loud and shouty when the older kids get in trouble. Not yelling but just overly loud. I have to tell him to quit yelling when he's on the phone or even talking quite often. Plus he's not good at letting things from work go when he's home.

Babies feel stress and emotion. Oh and fear. They smell fear from a mile away. Things will get better but he's got to be comfortable and realize that this baby spent 40ish weeks hearing your heartbeat and listening to you and has only been on the outside a few weeks so there needs to be time to adjust to others.

This!! OMG this!! They absolutely smell fear!! And my DH gets frustrated, and LO has been a very fussy baby because of reflux etc. and DH just escalates! Chill out. Breath. She has to calm down at some point. Stop trying to play with your phone or whatever!!

What is it with these men and there phones! My husbands phone addiction is a constant battle in our house!

Dh has this technology stupidity and gets really mad and frustrated with anything smart so he wants nothing to do with having to troubleshoot and fix our phones when things go wrong so he leaves it all up to me, which is fine because we wouldn't have anything electronic as it would have been thrown against the wall.

Anyway, I surprised he can work his iphone but they are pretty idiot proof. When his upgrade rolls around soon, I'm seriously considering not upgrading his phone to another smartphone and getting him a simple phone. I tell him all the time, put your damn phone down, you're missing life.