Etiquette on invites

JNCPro3130

Hey, ladies! I've lurked on this board a lot. I've seen the rule that baby showers are not like weddings in the sense that you don't invite everyone, which makes perfect sense to me. If you don't mind, give me your opinions on my situation. I have a few cousins and a friend who are very far away and will definitely not be able to come to a baby shower. When they were pregnant, it was the same situation (I live far away, and could not make it, but I sent a gift). I don't want to appear gift grabby, but I'm not sure if I should invite them since they invited me to their shower. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings by not including them when they included me. There were hurt feelings surrounding my wedding and bridal shower. With my pregnancy, I want things to be positive and people to feel included, but not taken advantage of. Does that make sense? Thanks for any thoughts you have!

neverblushed

I generally think that it's silly to invite people from OOT to a baby shower unless it's a sister or a really close friend.  It's a baby shower, not a wedding. 

However, in your specific situation, you have been invited to these other women's showers despite the fact that you live too far away to travel to them.  The precedent has already been set by someone other than you. There have been hurt feelings over being excluded from showers in the past.  So in this particular case I think it's okay to invite anyone who you'd invite if they lived in town who has indicated that she really wants a "courtesy" invite.

sschwege

I think in a case such as this, it's more about trusting your instincts, you are probably better able to gauge what their reaction would be, positive/negative.  Since they extended the invitations to you, it's hard to imagine they would see you as being gift grabby  

Amstreagle

The only people invited that lived further away for my shower were guests that I was very close with (family I am very close with). Some decided to fly out after lo was born so they were able to see him rather than come solely for a shower and some made both trips.

Helenahhandbasket

I think if they would probably send you a gift anyway, it's ok to send the invite.

jaztastic

I would send the invite. I didnt have a lot of OOT guests on my suggestion list for my showers. And soooooo many family and friends reached out asking about shower details. I have friends and family coming to the DMV area from Canada, the Caribbean, and all up and down the east coast. You know your social circle best. Send the invite and let them decide if they can make it or not. 

JNCPro3130

Thanks! I want to do everything correctly. I have read on here that it is the parent's responsibility to provide for their child and I agree with that wholeheartedly.  I appreciate your thoughts!