I'm not even sure what I'm judging but I am

sparkymcgeee

Ok so the back story is a FB friend of mine is pregnant. Which is great. I'm happy for her. This makes number four in four years. She got married in Sept 2010. Her first was a honeymoon baby and was born in May of 2011. He was born a bit early and has some issues but nothing too major and he's fine now after a surgery. Her next was born in Aug 2012. He was just fine. Her third was born in Aug 2013. Not quite a year later. They are like 51 weeks apart. She just announced she's pregnant and due in June. The kicker is they've all been C/S. I think that I'm judging that she's not letting her body heal. I think that's the part that gets me. She's a SAHM and from all appearances they are healthy and happy and I don't have an issue with adding more children to the family. It's just so many in such a short amount of time and her body must be wrecked. I can't imagine have four C/S in four years. 

Hi my name is Sparky and I'm a Judgey McJudgerson. Would you guys do any side eyeing if you saw that? 

EagleWife

You never know what people's reasons are for their reproductive plans. If they were so blessed as to have four kids in four years, more power to them.

sparkymcgeee

Isn't the medical recommendation waiting a year before becoming pregnant again after a C/S? Am I wrong on that? 

[Deleted User]

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EagleWife

sparkymcgeee said:

Isn't the medical recommendation waiting a year before becoming pregnant again after a C/S? Am I wrong on that? 

My OB didn't say anything about that after our C/S.

KMRR86

I'm not judging, but I'm feeling concern. That does seem like a lot of stress on a body in a short amount of time.

KikiCohen

sparkymcgeee said:

Isn't the medical recommendation waiting a year before becoming pregnant again after a C/S? Am I wrong on that? 

Mine recommended waiting a year. I personally wouldn't want to put my body under that amount of stress.

opheliainwaders

Yeah, I'd probably feel really uncomfortable with it (and yeah, I think my first reaction would probably be judgy)...mainly I guess for medical reasons, but also because it just makes me feel like there's something going on for someone to make that choice to have so many kids in such quick succession? But I guess if they're happy and healthy, then more power to 'em?

sparkymcgeee

At least she waited a year this time. But to think that 22 months is biggest gap they have is crazy to me since there are four of them. I don't know how she keeps her sanity. I would have been shipped the loony bin when the second pee stick turned positive. 

[Deleted User]

It's not my body so I guess I don't really care? I don't understand wanting to have a bunch of kids but yet again as long as I'm not the one doing it... Not my problem.

PrimRoseMama

sparkymcgeee said:

Ok so the back story is a FB friend of mine is pregnant. Which is great. I'm happy for her. This makes number four in four years. She got married in Sept 2010. Her first was a honeymoon baby and was born in May of 2011. He was born a bit early and has some issues but nothing too major and he's fine now after a surgery. Her next was born in Aug 2012. He was just fine. Her third was born in Aug 2013. Not quite a year later. They are like 51 weeks apart. She just announced she's pregnant and due in June. The kicker is they've all been C/S. I think that I'm judging that she's not letting her body heal. I think that's the part that gets me. She's a SAHM and from all appearances they are healthy and happy and I don't have an issue with adding more children to the family. It's just so many in such a short amount of time and her body must be wrecked. I can't imagine have four C/S in four years. 

Hi my name is Sparky and I'm a Judgey McJudgerson. Would you guys do any side eyeing if you saw that? 

I don't know if I'd judge, but I'm tired for her just reading about it. I take it she has some issue with birth control? I don't take pills or devices, it's condoms for us and that's it. So I can relate to not wanting to mess with hormonal birth control.

I wonder if she knows how it could affect her physically? I've spaced pregnancy at 20 months & that was even pretty intense. When we TTC #3 (actively) the spacing will be more than 24 months.

I do understand wanting babies close in age, but I'm with you a little bit. She could be taking a gamble with her health. I am not sure it's wise, but hey if everyone is happy then what are you gonna do. :-??

Is this their last baby or they kind of letting it all go as it might? Is religion part of it (some faiths don't believe in preventing etc)?

valstulas

That is a lot of stress on the body. I don't know if there are any hard and fast recommendations for length of time between pregnancies for those who delivered by c-section or a max number of c-sections a woman can have, but there are certainly risks to not letting your body heal or having c-section after c-section after c-section after c-section.

queenbone

I asked my OB if there was a limit to the amount of c/s a woman could have (probably when he was trying to talk me out of attempting a VBAC with DS2.) He told me that there was no limit and that he has a patient who was his 'shining star' (or some other eye-rolly worthy title) who has had 13 c/s and he had performed all but 2 of them. 

I'd like 4 children, but I can't imagaine dealing with 2u2 let alone 4u4. 

8-}

queenbone

Silv3rlining said:

I asked my OB if there was a limit to the amount of c/s a woman could have (probably when he was trying to talk me out of attempting a VBAC with DS2.) He told me that there was no limit and that he has a patient who was his 'shining star' (or some other eye-rolly worthy title) who has had 13 c/s and he had performed all but 2 of them. 

I'd like 4 children, but I can't imagaine dealing with 2u2 let alone 4u4. 

8-}

13?!?!?

I know, right?! You should have seen the look on my face when he told me that!

KikiCohen

queenbone said:

I asked my OB if there was a limit to the amount of c/s a woman could have (probably when he was trying to talk me out of attempting a VBAC with DS2.) He told me that there was no limit and that he has a patient who was his 'shining star' (or some other eye-rolly worthy title) who has had 13 c/s and he had performed all but 2 of them. 

I'd like 4 children, but I can't imagaine dealing with 2u2 let alone 4u4. 

8-}

I can't process the thought of 13 children, 13 pregnancies, 13 c-sections....

sparkymcgeee

PrimRoseMama said:

Ok so the back story is a FB friend of mine is pregnant. Which is great. I'm happy for her. This makes number four in four years. She got married in Sept 2010. Her first was a honeymoon baby and was born in May of 2011. He was born a bit early and has some issues but nothing too major and he's fine now after a surgery. Her next was born in Aug 2012. He was just fine. Her third was born in Aug 2013. Not quite a year later. They are like 51 weeks apart. She just announced she's pregnant and due in June. The kicker is they've all been C/S. I think that I'm judging that she's not letting her body heal. I think that's the part that gets me. She's a SAHM and from all appearances they are healthy and happy and I don't have an issue with adding more children to the family. It's just so many in such a short amount of time and her body must be wrecked. I can't imagine have four C/S in four years. 

Hi my name is Sparky and I'm a Judgey McJudgerson. Would you guys do any side eyeing if you saw that? 

I don't know if I'd judge, but I'm tired for her just reading about it. I take it she has some issue with birth control? I don't take pills or devices, it's condoms for us and that's it. So I can relate to not wanting to mess with hormonal birth control. I wonder if she knows how it could affect her physically? I've spaced pregnancy at 20 months & that was even pretty intense. When we TTC #3 (actively) the spacing will be more than 24 months. I do understand wanting babies close in age, but I'm with you a little bit. She could be taking a gamble with her health. I am not sure it's wise, but hey if everyone is happy then what are you gonna do. :-?? Is this their last baby or they kind of letting it all go as it might? Is religion part of it (some faiths don't believe in preventing etc)?

I don't know if this is their last. I was kind of expecting their third to be their last. Just based on things she's said on FB. Given this, I wouldn't be surprised if they had more. They are Mormon and some people in the faith are of the mindset that "whatever the Lord gives us we'll take" but that's not a church policy. The church doesn't have an issue with BC and actually advises that we shouldn't have more children than we can afford so prevention is perfectly fine. The church regularly preaches self reliance and personal responsibility so that stance doesn't surprise me. 

valstulas

queenbone said:

I asked my OB if there was a limit to the amount of c/s a woman could have (probably when he was trying to talk me out of attempting a VBAC with DS2.) He told me that there was no limit and that he has a patient who was his 'shining star' (or some other eye-rolly worthy title) who has had 13 c/s and he had performed all but 2 of them. 

I'd like 4 children, but I can't imagaine dealing with 2u2 let alone 4u4. 

8-}

Oh, jeez. I can't even imagine the amount of adhesions in her abdomen. She's going to end up with a bowel obstruction. Shining star, my ass.

mrshudson618

My friend is expecting her second less than a year after her first c/s. her Dr. just told her she couldn't attempt a VBAC that soon.

Karebear6978

I can't imagine there is a limit to the #of c sections u can have. What is the doc gonna say? "U have reached the max amount of c sections allowed so we will now take Ur uterus to be sure you don't have any more?" Hahaha.... sorry that isn't gonna happen in America at least.

sparkymcgeee

Karebear6978 said:

I can't imagine there is a limit to the #of c sections u can have. What is the doc gonna say? "U have reached the max amount of c sections allowed so we will now take Ur uterus to be sure you don't have any more?" Hahaha.... sorry that isn't gonna happen in America at least.

In theory you're right but you can do so much damage that you can hemorrhage and need a hysterectomy in order to save your life.

hollandmama

I wouldn't be judging but I would be certaintly speaking to her about it... I had a c/s and it's really not recommended to get pregnant again before 1 year, let alone have another c/s before that period! Both my gyns (Dutch and Mexican) told me that you should have at least 18 months between one c/s and another... PLUS 3 c/s is the maximum healthy amount... 

That said, we do want 4 children and I am letting 3 years appart from each c/s (hopefully) so that my body is in top form... I've been monitoring my c/s scar with u/s at the gyn and it only 'healed' completely a month ago, I can't imagine opening that scar 4 times in 4 years, her gyn is probably not a good one... my gyn almost constrained me to BC for the first 12 months after LO's birth...

is she old? why the hurry? I'd be quite worried for her, that can lead to uterus rupture and could be fatal for both of them

cuterusaurus

... I've got nothin %-(

valstulas

cuterusaurus said:

... I've got nothin %-(

>:D< love you

giraffeluvspi

valstulas said:

... I've got nothin %-(

>:D< love you

I love you, too!  :-* >:D<

My OB said 16 mo before TTC again, and that was with a normal vaginal delivery. The body just needs time to restock on vital nutrients, not to mention healing after a major surgery after a c-section. 

T&P for a healthy baby and Mama. 

sparkymcgeee

hollandmama said:

I wouldn't be judging but I would be certaintly speaking to her about it... I had a c/s and it's really not recommended to get pregnant again before 1 year, let alone have another c/s before that period! Both my gyns (Dutch and Mexican) told me that you should have at least 18 months between one c/s and another... PLUS 3 c/s is the maximum healthy amount... 

That said, we do want 4 children and I am letting 3 years appart from each c/s (hopefully) so that my body is in top form... I've been monitoring my c/s scar with u/s at the gyn and it only 'healed' completely a month ago, I can't imagine opening that scar 4 times in 4 years, her gyn is probably not a good one... my gyn almost constrained me to BC for the first 12 months after LO's birth...

is she old? why the hurry? I'd be quite worried for her, that can lead to uterus rupture and could be fatal for both of them

She's 31 or 32 now. I know she's just a few years younger than me. I really don't understand the rush but I just hope she doesn't do serious damage to herself.