Shower at 20 weeks

rideeventing

My aunts traditionally throw the cousins a shower and have offered to do so for me. However, they said they would like to at Christmas (due in May and will be about 20 weeks) because the majority of my cousins live all over the country and only come to town 1-2 times a year. I also live about 6-7 hours away. I am extremely grateful that they would like to host a shower but am nervous because it is still so early in the pregnancy. I'm not sure if I should gratefully accept because, A.) I'm fortunate that they are offering and this is what they suggested B.) So many of my cousins will already be in town and I wouldn't expect them to make the trip a separate weekend just for a baby shower. Because of our relationship I feel confident that they would in fact like to be there. and C.) I suppose it will be nice to take the stress out of making the trip when I am more uncomfortable and give us more time to purchase things via coupon and sale. 

But I am also hesitant because A.) It's so early, things could still go wrong, I might not be showing, and may not yet know the sex (does that matter?) etc B.) It's Christmas time, there is already so much going on with seeing family, presents etc. it might be a lot to ask to also attend a shower. 

The aunts have said they would be happy to hold off and host something later in the pregnancy, but on top of cousins not already in town, it's Buffalo, NY and the weather is not the most predictable and travel in late March isn't always the best. 

Also, I would likely be inviting a few people outside of that side of the family. 

Thoughts? Hold of until a bit later in the pregnancy or happily accept the Christmas shower? 

acoxwell

I would go with the shower at Christmas.  My high school group of friends is spread out all over the country.  When I got married, a friend offered to throw me a Bridal shower at Christmas since everyone would be in town.  Similarly, when I had DS, a friend coordinated my baby shower with another friends wedding weekend.  (Wedding was on Saturday, Shower was Sunday afternoon).  

Both events weren't the exact date I would have picked, but it wasn't up to me since I wasn't the host.  PLUS, it was worth it to have those people attend that might not be able to make another trip to see me.  Hope this helps.  Congrats on your pregnancy.

MrsPDX

I don't know, personally I would be very hesitant to have a shower at 20 weeks..

I am also due in May, and DH will only be back for a week in January (around 25 weeks) between now and when the baby is born. Therefore, we considered doing a shower then so he could be there, but I declined. It just seems too early, and I won't be showing. At 20 weeks you are still a month before the baby is viable, which would worry me.

You could just enjoy seeing your cousins without a shower. If you have one later, and cousins do come, then you would be able to enjoy seeing them twice. As close as you sound I am sure some would be willing to travel. I would wait, but that's just my opinion. 

Helenahhandbasket

Can you schedule your second trimester screening for 19 weeks?

If yes, and all looks well, I would say do the shower at Christmas, even though it is early.

You do not need to know the sex of your baby to have a shower.

Amstreagle

I agree that due to convenience a shower is fine that early.
Ignore @MrsPDX‌. She wouldn't know etiquette if it bumped her in the head.

MrsPDX

I don't see how this has anything to do with etiquette... its just whether you are comfortable getting excited and going through with a shower, when there is still a lot of unknown at 20 weeks. What if at 22 weeks there was a loss? You would have all those gifts, and everyone would be excited, and then you would have to announce the loss and return gifts. That would be horribly difficult. Just not a situation I would want to even possibly enter...

Amstreagle

Loss can happen at any point in a pregnancy. Whether it be 20 weeks or 38 weeks. I was simply stating that out of convenience it make sense to have a shower at that time when her host is available to hold a shower.
The point in your post where you state that you won't be showing and that being one of the reasons you were uncomfortable with the shower makes no sense.

rideeventing

I appreciate everyone's comments and input. 

@MandJS Yes, they have said I am welcome to invite non-cousins and my father's side of the family. We have a BIG family and they are accustomed to the large gatherings. I only have a few friends that I would consider my closest in the area and will be sure not to over invite. 

I am going to try and have the anatomy scan prior to returning home from the holidays. Crossing my fingers my MTF will allow it.