Parenting advice.

BluepointToasted · November 2014

DS is 26 months. He has been hitting me. Only me. It is driving me up the wall. He often does it when I am taking him to the bathroom, or getting him dressed, or brushing his teeth. Never hits his father, daycare provider, other kids.

I am going to lose it. Getting smacked in the face is infuriating. I have been putting him in time out, he sits there and whines for a bit, then says "sorry mom" and gets down and comes over and hugs/kisses me. Then five minutes later does it again. Raising my voice appears to have no effect on him.

Help! Any other ideas? Drink enough so I just don't care?

BluepointToasted · November 2014

I have to work so hard at this @bearsbearsbears‌. I know that I need to ignore it, but it is so so irritating!! I need to practice my deep breaths

theseaword · November 2014

We're not in a hitting phase now, but we've gone through them in the past. I've found he mostly hit when he felt frustrated, powerless, or wanted attention. So I would try to involve him more in whatever we were doing, or give him extra attention, so he wouldn't get frustrated.
If he hit anyway or kept hitting, I would tell him "mommy wants to play with you, but mommy does not like being hit. Mommy can't play with you if you hit" and then I step away. I don't cold shoulder him or emotionally shut him out, but I'm thinking a natural consequence of hitting is that people won't want to be hit, and thus won't play with him.

BluepointToasted · November 2014

It seems to be when I am very close to him....putting him on the potty when I don't have a potty seat do I have to help hold him up, brushing his teeth, laying in bed next to each other. But he doesn't seem mad when he does it either. On the contrary he laughs. I don't think it is attention seeking, because it is usually in one-on-one situations. I would think escape during the toothbrushing situation, becUse he hates that, but when we are laying in bed watching cartoons?

I think he is just exploiting situations when I am vulnerable

ETA: I'm kidding about that last part. Kind of

Soxgirl07 · November 2014

My under 2year old hits me when he's excited. I know that's a bit younger, but I remind him that we use gentle touches and demonstrate. Then when he keeps going it, I stand up. I go right back to him, but stay out of reach of those little hands. He seems to be doing it less, so I think it's working?

kmm2150 · November 2014

I posted about this recently. DD is a little older and does the same thing, pretty much only to me. Seems to be when she is frustrated, being made to do something she doesn't want to (get ready for bed, leave for daycare), and when I'm physically doing something like trying to help her get dressed or picking her up to get in the car, si definitely some sense of not having control of the situation. As I've put those pieces together I've really tried to not pick her up/physically "make" her do things.

We talk constantly, including when nothings going on and she's fine, about how she is such a big girl and can use her words to say what she wants/doesn't want, and not hit or yell. When she is approaching that mood (little grumpy "uh!'s, cranky), I try to do the "you could say..." to give her words. If she actually hits, what I've tried to do is immediately put her down if I'm holding her, get down on her level with axserious face/voice and say we do not hit. That hurts. We use our words." if it continues we use time out but haven't been great about doing that consistently. She also gets immediate consequences now, so threatening the loss of an activity or tv or treat can work well. I would say it's been improving but seems to ebb and flow.