Do you have to invite the entire class for preschool birthday parties?

Love My Lil Princess 509

I'm new to this all, so I'm just curious who most people invite to their pre-school age child's party? DD's bday isn't until a few months from now, but I was hoping now that she is in preschool, we could actually have her a bday party finally bc she would have friends to invite. We don't have family of friends with kids her age, so never had a bday party for her before. She's a very friendly child, and many times gets told by kids on the playground or I even saw a few times from kids from her own class when they are playing outside that they don't want to play with her. I've been trying to find out who she plays with in her class and I'm still getting "a little boy or little girl" lol or she names her teachers. She just started naming one boy and one girl. The parents at the school she's at are kind of cliquey and although I've tried to make convo with some of them, I'm still just standing around usually by myself while DD runs around after school. I found out at open house night that that majority of the class were together last year in the 2 year old program. DD wasn't. We can't hold a party in our home bc it's too small, so we'd have to hold it someplace. Parties are very expensive at party centers in my area, so in all honesty, I sort of don't want to be paying for 14 kids (her class size) when some of those kids don't even play with DD.

There's parent teacher conferences, so I was going to ask the teacher the names of the kids she plays with. So, do you, or in my situation, would you invite the entire class? Can you just invite the few kids she's friendly with and just ask the teacher to put invites in those kids school bags? Ditch a party all together if it's only going to be like 5 kids, considering most places need a min. of 8-10 kids. She's in dance school too, but again, there's some girls I've never seen her interact with.

Spin313

Did your DD asked for a party...?

We didn't have a "friend party" until DS was five. Until then, we just had play dates with friends/neighbors. We're doing the same with our DD.

Cherryblossoms07

If I had a party where I wanted to invite a couple kids from preschool I would invite the entire class. The preschool handbook for DD'S previous preschool actually requested that you either invite the entire class to a birthday party or none of the kids from class.

caranichole

My first birthday party was 2nd grade. It was a sleepover and all my girlfriends were invited. That's the year I requested a "big" party and I was old enough to say who my friends were and help my mom make the list. Any birthdays earlier than that were just my family + 2 or 3 neighborhood friends.

Perhaps if you are able to find out who she has been playing with- do a small celebration/sleepover/outing with just them? That way she still gets a celebration, a friend/s, you get to know their parents and you don't have to spend so much money. 

littlemermaid

Our school policy is if invites are being handed out in school(whether it's through the child or teacher) then the whole class has to be invited.  So check school policy.  If you just want to pick and choose who gets invited I'd get their addresses and send it to their homes.  If you invite everyone it would be a good way to break the ice with some of the parents and then you can also see who your daughter likes to play with. 

VMRRN23

We've been having parties for DS since his 1st bday. Our house is small so we have it at a place (usually My Gym). We have friends with kids and since DS is in preschool we invite the whole class (he'll be 4 in January). If you have the money and you want to have a party, I say go for it. You may be able to meet more of the moms that way. Have you been invited to any class parties yet? Is this preschool a public school or a place where many of the kids from in town go, so you'll be seeing them the next 18 years?

Sorry for no intro, new to the board but not the bump/nest/knot.

NicoleWI

We didn't have a "friend party" until she was turning 5, and then we did invite the whole class of 14 kids. That was standard. Many of the kids had b-day parties and invited everyone. If anyone had a small party, I don't know about it. Most had it at the same kids' play zone/bounce house place.

I don't think you really have to have one yet if she is turning 3 or 4. Kids are too young to even really care or get it at that point, so you could save yourself the effort & expense for another year.

CareBear0607

At DS's preschool (and DD's when she was in preschool) they have a school policy on this.  If the invites are handed out at school (you, your LO, teacher) you have to invite either the whole class or all the girls if you are a girl or all the boys if you are a boy.  I would see if your preschool has a policy on this.  I didn't invite any of DS's preschool class this birthday (just turned 4).  He just started a new preschool a month ago and I didn't feel comfortable passing out invites.  At 4, DD had a princess party and I invited just a few girls from preschool that I knew she played with.  I got the parent's address and sent them invites that way. 

Ilumine

We were lucky that DD's VPK had only 7 other kids, so between the school and her play date friends, we could have one last big birthday party when she turned 5. 

From here on out, she is allowed to choose 3 kids from the list of children I offer up.  And that does not include her classmates because it is not fair/will create hurt feelings. 

As she gets older and she starts having playdates with kids from school then we will revisit that decision.  But she will also be old/mature enough to not talk about any parties around children she didnt get to invite. 

DonnaJoTanner

Instead of a play place you could look into inviting all the kids to a local park. Bubbles, balloons, cake...my LO would be on cloud 9 and it wouldn't be as $$.