advice for telling teen SS we are pregnant — The Bump
Blended Families

advice for telling teen SS we are pregnant

I am looking for advice for my DH.... we are planning to tell he kids soon that I am pregnant.

SD will be thrilled. She has asked for us to have a baby since we met.

SS is where I am worried. He has expressed that he doesn't want us to have any kids. I think it is because after his BM left, he was responsible for his sister a lot.... he is a los 13, so I know that is part of it.

Any ideas of things my DH can say to help ease the news? He is going to tell him alone so he has time to process and say whatever he needs in the moment without judgment. And so he doesn't feel unheard with his sister's excitement.

Just looking for thoughts...
image image BabyFetus Ticker

Re: advice for telling teen SS we are pregnant

  • I would be honest and upfront with SS.  I would let him voice whatever he feels he needs to say and not take it personally.

    I would acknowledge that he took up a lot of the responsiblity for watching his sister when he was older, and that is not a burden that will be placed on him this time.  The situation you and DH are in right now is different - there are two parents in the home to be responsible, you intend to use backup childcare (ie a paid babysitter or daycare).  

    You need to follow through on this - don't use SS (or SD) as "free" babysitting unless you are doing something like running to the grocery store to buy groceries for the whole family.   

    image "Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.
  • Thank you for the advice. Will pass it onto my DH. My mom lives close, so definitely won't put him on babysitting duty. My mom will do it.... she has even offered to watch SD so SS doesn't have to when that comes up.
    image image BabyFetus Ticker
  • Yeah, this was the FIRST thing I told SS that I would never do to him.  He was never forced to be a parent and if we used him for childcare (which happened unfortunately because if he didnt he would have to have a sitter in the house with for him but we were overseas) he got paid rather handsomely.  

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