Finally Friday Spamilicious

jennjilljo

Did he get home yet @lizzybean‌? Is always scary when someone's late, especially when they are making a long commute.

BeckyP005

@lizzybean hope YH comes home soon. Mine is know not to call when he will be late and it irks me to no end.

MH is an ass. I was teasing him on wanting a sip of his beer. He said no and I said just a baby sip and asked why not. He goes $20k why not. He mentioned this before a few times in passing. I started crying but he didn't see. I don't need this brought up every time. Yes I wanted a baby really bad but he must of also since he agreed on all of this. WTF. Don't make me feel guilty for spending this money and blame me for no vacations or not being able to knock a wall down. Freaking just pisses me off

foxslaw

Love tit of support @BeckyP005‌ ! Men can be so wonderful, but so insensitive sometimes!

BeckyP005

I think he thinks he is joking around but doesn't realize how it hurts. Thanks

crabigator

Hi ladies, just ducking in to say hi, love for all of you who need it, and high hopes for an incredible, restful weekend for everyone!

Also, a tip: man, are lunch buffets a good idea when you're pregnant. (burp) 

:@) ">

lizzybean

@jennjilljoite & @BeckyP005 yes he came home around 6:20. I said I was worried about him and he said I could have called... while he was riding his bike? I hate it when he doesn't call. It is one of my biggest pet peeves. Anyways, thanks for checking in.

And Becky Im so sorry your DH said that!! How insensitive You obviously both wanted this baby very much and that is not kind to make the cost an issue long afterwards. ((hugs))!

Hope all is well with BFF and her little one @krendel1990!

psychobutthead

Blingpixie said:

psychobutthead said:

Blingpixie said:

chickyclg said:

psychobutthead said:

thinking he doesnt realize im married and maybe thinks a single mom with my job wont want two kids? yeah he was creepy. when i was pregnant with hailey my mom had a friend who would call wanting to know if i wanted to get rid of the baby yet. i think hes like this because im havimg a boy. in his.conversation he mentiomed how his friends basically adopted a sex of child they didn't have after habing two or three of the same sex.

it's not a puppy! It's a human child! What is WRONG with people?!

Surprisingly it is on the adoption application, when we met with an adoption agency for the first time they told us we could request anything from race, age, sex, sibling groups. They even told us we could go as far a hair and eye color (which I think is super crazy) but of course the more restrictions you place the longer you may be waiting.

I meant it more toward @psychobutthead‌ mentioning "...my mom had a friend who would call wanting to know if I wanted to get rid of the baby yet." As far as adoption preferences, I would just be happy to have a healthy child. However, if it leads children to a loving home, I won't oppose the particulars of each process. To each his/her own, I guess. I just don't understand how people think it's okay to stalk pregnant women like a baby snatcher, hoping that they'll score a baby out of it. It's wrong on so many levels. If you want to expand your family, approach a legitimate adoption agency, not a pregnant woman (or new mother). So creepy to have an attitude like "that baby not working out? I'll take it off your hands." This is why I carry mace and a mean bitchy resting face. My kid will be strapped to me until it's a teenager (I'm exaggerating). So paranoid of the crazies out there trying to have a child by any means necessary. Yuck.

I know a couple who went through the adoption process twice and they found the pregnant woman by chance. They also approached her about giving the kids up.

It surprises me but it doesn't at the same time. People who want children badly for the most part would do anything to have one. They probably think it can't hurt to ask just in case they get a yes. I'm sure private adoption is easier and less expensive then going through a specific agency.

But yeah I think this guy figures I'd be the perfect canidate to ask. I look like him and his wife. They are both brown eyed and brunettes with glasses. But creepers need to really stepoff because I'm feeling paranoid now.

As far as the friend of my moms she probably kept calling because I was a single pregnant 16 year old about to have a baby. She probably figured I'd be dying to give the kid up.

It's probably just my perspective. I know that the world is made up if all kinds of people, and that what some may think of as appropriate might come off as creepy to others. I've had an ingrained paranoia about creepers since my bump started showing, so that's probably why I'm so hostile about the "approaching a pregnant woman" about it mentality. I suppose if it's done tactfully, that works for some people. I'm sorry if I came off insensitive about how people go about adoption in those circumstances. I know what it's like to desperately want a baby... this one was against all odds for my husband and me. I hope I didn't offend anyone. Kudos for pointing out that with the right approach, just about anything might be a loving, working arrangement for everyone involved.

I don't think anyone was offended. I wasn't. I just understand why someone would approach a pregnant woman about it, even though its creepy as hell.

lizzybean

So.... I tried to talk to DH about his lack of acknowledgement that I am, in fact, pregnant, and could use a little more help with certain things. I couldn't think of a way to have the conversation without getting into a fight so I just... stopped talking. He didn't even blink an eye. Good to know he is always listening to me.  [-( 

I am really starting to get frustrated and I have no idea where to even start. 

ckimberley14

foxslaw said:

We both have today off, so I was supposed to have a nice brunch with my DBF, but when I was parking (it's back angle parking) he got impatient & started yelling at me. Then he abruptly said for me to "take us home", so now I'm rage cleaning while he sleeps in the other room. I have really bad driving anxiety (Didn't get a license until I was halfway through 19) & he was being really mean. He told me to "grow up & learn how to drive" when he's the one being childish & screaming at me.

So sorry he did that!! Just reading this made me stressed, so can't imagine how you felt experiencing it. Hope your day got better (haven't waded through the rest of spam yet).

jennjilljo

@BeckyP005 you should tell him that joke hurts your feelings so he'll stop. I had to do that with DH over "you wanted this" jokes.

@lizzybean‌ I'm glad that he's home but it sounds like he's being a butt. I'm sorry.

@krendel1990‌ I'm so glad the labor is over. I hope you get good news soon. T&Ps to your friend and her LO.

ckimberley14

@kkleigh10‌ So sorry about your friend. I agree with PPs: your gesture is perfect and lets her know you're there for her when she needs/is ready for support.

crystalw88

What's with everyone's H's and BFD @foxslaw @BeckyP005 @lizzybean‌

Hope things get better for you all!

So sorry about your friend @kkleigh10‌

psychobutthead

lizzybean said:

So.... I tried to talk to DH about his lack of acknowledgement that I am, in fact, pregnant, and could use a little more help with certain things. I couldn't think of a way to have the conversation without getting into a fight so I just... stopped talking. He didn't even blink an eye. Good to know he is always listening to me.  [-( 

I am really starting to get frustrated and I have no idea where to even start. 

So hes just not acknowledging that theres a problem at all?

ckimberley14

@lizzybean‌ Does YH respond better when you write him letters/notes about issues bothering you? I just wonder if he is the type of person to automatically go on the defensive if confronted about something like that face-to-face. I'm sorry he's not at least acknowledging that you need some extra help since you're pregnant. Maybe he truly doesn't understand how tough it gets physically and mentally to carry on even certain daily tasks as pregnancy progresses. I know I'm slowing down quite a lot and find some days I don't even have the energy to tidy up, especially if the girls haven't napped all day. I really hope there's a way for you to reach him without it becoming a conflict.

lizzybean

He is just so oblivious to my feelings!! Last pregnancy he was so much more attentive.  

I probably need to get over it a little bit, but I would like to feel a bit more loved...

And we are going back and forth on the schedule of staying with his parents/ my parents at Christmas and it is stressing me out. He keeps putting it off, telling me he cannot discuss it right now. It is making me super anxious. 

lizzybean

psychobutthead said:

lizzybean said:

So.... I tried to talk to DH about his lack of acknowledgement that I am, in fact, pregnant, and could use a little more help with certain things. I couldn't think of a way to have the conversation without getting into a fight so I just... stopped talking. He didn't even blink an eye. Good to know he is always listening to me.  [-( 

I am really starting to get frustrated and I have no idea where to even start. 

So hes just not acknowledging that theres a problem at all?

Yeah pretty much. He was on his phone at the time and literally didn't even notice I was talking, that always feels good... not. I've brought it up before and it seems like he thinks I am overreacting. Like, I said I won't be able to do Ella's bathtime soon, it hurts my back. He said, well fine but then you have to read her stories (his task). Like spending 10 more minutes with his daughter that he doesn't see all day is SUCH a big deal!!! 

Sorry for all the vents, I am just not feeling super awesome about him right now.

ckimberley14

DDs' appointment went fine today, although they spent most of it crying. They've been getting up at 6/6:30 since the time change, so I know they were tired by the time of their appt. DD2 is finally 20+lbs! She's always been a bitty thing, and she was actually off the growth chart at their 12m checkup, which worried our previous pedi (we've switched since then). She's now in the single digits for weight growth lol. Their new pedi isn't concerned because everything else is progressing fine, plus they're hitting all their developmental markers. They got their flu shots, plus Hep A vaccine. Then they had to get blood drawn, poor things. Luckily I took them to a different lab this time, where the phlebotomist knew to use a butterfly instead of a regular needle. The last time I had to get their bloodwork done, the dang person stuck DD five different spots because she couldn't get a good draw with the regular needle.

crabigator

lizzybean said:

So.... I tried to talk to DH about his lack of acknowledgement that I am, in fact, pregnant, and could use a little more help with certain things. I couldn't think of a way to have the conversation without getting into a fight so I just... stopped talking. He didn't even blink an eye. Good to know he is always listening to me.  [-( 

I am really starting to get frustrated and I have no idea where to even start. 

Do you think he'd respond well to a note / email? I know it can feel silly, but some people (including my husband at times) can shut down in person when they think the situation isn't going their way, and really appreciate being given the time and privacy to read your take on the issue and then process it on their own. I also think it might give him time to read your actual concerns without just feeling like he's being accused (assuming, of course, that you don't write anything like, "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT" ).

PS I just saw that @ckimberley14 and I are on the same page! So... what she said.

BeckyP005

I'm sorry @lizzybean. I think there should be a class that our husbands/BF's need to take so they are not so clueless

lizzybean

ckimberley14 said:

@lizzybean‌ Does YH respond better when you write him letters/notes about issues bothering you? I just wonder if he is the type of person to automatically go on the defensive if confronted about something like that face-to-face. I'm sorry he's not at least acknowledging that you need some extra help since you're pregnant. Maybe he truly doesn't understand how tough it gets physically and mentally to carry on even certain daily tasks as pregnancy progresses. I know I'm slowing down quite a lot and find some days I don't even have the energy to tidy up, especially if the girls haven't napped all day. I really hope there's a way for you to reach him without it becoming a conflict.

Thanks hun. He seems to just want to be wrapped up in his own work shit right now. Maybe a letter would work? It has in the past... Im not sure. Im a bit at a loss right now. It is hard to articulate my feelings right now with him. Some days we are fine, some days I feel totally resentful.. 

foxslaw

@lizzybean hopefully it's just a full moon or something & you'll get your sweet husband back soon.

ckimberley14

lizzybean said:

ckimberley14 said:

@lizzybean‌ Does YH respond better when you write him letters/notes about issues bothering you? I just wonder if he is the type of person to automatically go on the defensive if confronted about something like that face-to-face. I'm sorry he's not at least acknowledging that you need some extra help since you're pregnant. Maybe he truly doesn't understand how tough it gets physically and mentally to carry on even certain daily tasks as pregnancy progresses. I know I'm slowing down quite a lot and find some days I don't even have the energy to tidy up, especially if the girls haven't napped all day. I really hope there's a way for you to reach him without it becoming a conflict.

Thanks hun. He seems to just want to be wrapped up in his own work shit right now. Maybe a letter would work? It has in the past... Im not sure. Im a bit at a loss right now. It is hard to articulate my feelings right now with him. Some days we are fine, some days I feel totally resentful.. 

Oh if a letter helped in the past, I'd say try it again! At least it would let him know how you're feeling without having him put on the spot, if that makes sense. I feel like I'm able to communicate much more openly and clearly when I write out my feelings. FX your letter helps open up positive and productive communication for you and H.

lizzybean

Blingpixie said:

@lizzybean‌ you have SO MUCH patience lately! Hang in there... I hope you can talk it out without strangling him.

Thank you so much hun I really appreciate that.

twinklymama

Have to AW a minute: DD1 got glasses today and I just have to post a pic. She looks soooo grown up now!

(Sideways pic? Damn phone)