No Symptoms, No MS...

ThreeXsaCharm

Where are my pregnancy symptoms???  I'm very early in my pregnancy 6 weeks , 6 days...and

I am so freaked out that I don't feel pregnant. My boobs were hurting (a lot) last week and were really sore to the point that I didn't know if I felt better with a bra on or without.  It was great because it reminded me what I have been fighting for the last three years.  So any symptoms that I have I will embrace with open arms.  (They are still a bit sensitive but nothing like last week.)

I normally don't have morning sickness but with the IVF (our first time) it would give me such peace of mind to have some MS. Crazy right?  My other two pregnancies were non-eventful so I guess I should  expect the same? My progesterone levels were checked twice by my RE last week and were great numbers but was not checked  this week.

I'm really am trying to compose myself and be calm.  We lost our last bean early on and I guess it's weighing on my mind a bit.  My fist U/S is this Monday and it can't come fast enough...  I also received some really tragic news this week about a friend and her pregnancy who was due to give birth in December and it's been on my mind as well. I am sick over it.

Just wish I had something more to go by...it would give me such peace of mind.  I just have to keep on telling myself a couple of more days until Monday..  Almost feels like that two-week wait everyone goes through who has been tracking or doing IVF, etc...just plays on your mind..

harmonicbabe26

Good luck and I do understand that it would give you some peace of mind, but after having my 1st pregnancy with no symptoms at all (BLISS!!) and this one with severe MS for 16 weeks+, I wouldn't wish symptoms on anyone!!!

mandyreads

You definitely have a lot on your mind. I know that u/s won't get here soon enough.
My first 3 pregnancies no ms and only mild boob soreness. This time around ms started about 7weeks and lasted until about 11/12 weeks. That is what made me think we were having a boy this time. But nope. ..another girl. So all pregnancies are different.
Hope that helps a bit.

niknak1208

I completely understanding wanting that reassurance. I've had a couple early losses and a late loss at almost 20 weeks. It's so hard and very stressful.  I never feel anything in the way of symptoms until I'm like 7-ish weeks. This time around I felt fine until I hit about 7 1/2 weeks. Then all hell broke lose.  My boobs never hurt at first. Now they do. M/S seems like it's improving somewhat.. I'm 10 weeks and a few days.  But at 6-7 weeks.. I had no symptoms at all. 

I also think that our minds our pretty powerful.  My co-worker is also pregnant.. a few weeks ahead of me. She was freaking out for the same reason a few weeks ago.  Her boobs hurt.. then they stopped.  She felt sick.. then she didn't.  But it was all fine.  Sometimes I think we trick ourselves into feeling this or feeling that because we're so worked up about it. I know I do that a lot. 

ThreeXsaCharm

niknak1208 said:

I also think that our minds our pretty powerful.  

Oh yes..that definitely plays a part..  

NeonNoon

I had more early symptoms when AF was just about to arrive (nausea, sore boobs etc) than when I found out I was pregnant.  The fatigue only really kicked in around 7 weeks and I didn't have MS until around 10 weeks.  Those symptoms lasted well into the second trimester for me, though.

Waiting for the first US is tough.  Hang in there!  You'll feel a lot better after.

topaz7777

I was doing ok till 9 weeks... then couldn't stop vomiting.  I'll be glad to trade you symptoms for a while, I could use a break.

ThreeXsaCharm

I don't know what is worse?  Knowing that you're pregnant which was confirmed by the blood tests and not having any symptoms or having MS that may take the wind out of you on some days? 

Not having any symptom at all...nothing, plays with your mind.  It has been playing with my mind the last couple of days. It's emotionally draining.  What's better?  To be emotionally drained with constant fears of why don't I feel this or that and or throwing up, having nausea and gas from your little bean? I don't even feel tired anymore...I would like to feel something. Obviously both extremes can take a toll..

I just wish Monday were here already.  And of course I am terrified to go too now..Can't win.  I remember our last two little beans. I'm telling myself this time it's different and it is....  Our first little bean had a chromosomal defect and our last little bean did not develop at all.  This little bean was done via IVF and was already way ahead of the game so this time it is different.  My hubby just reminded me of that.. Gotta love those husbands always succinct and not emotional just what I need at this time.

We fought so hard for this pregnancy and I just want to be blessed with one more to complete our family. 

BeckyP005

Good luck tomorrow at your appt! Waiting is hard!

ThreeXsaCharm

@BeckyP005 Thanks so much... I pray that our little bean is growing.  

ThreeXsaCharm

So Monday has come and we saw our little bean. With that came a wave of emotions.. Our road for our third baby has been a very difficult one, one that I don't have any regrets enduring even the barrage of tests, the pills, the operations, or the shots, etc.  We never had to do any of this with our other two and thought the third one would be the same... One thing I do regret thinking back now.....taking for granted how easily it was getting pregnant was for me and that our third would be walk in the park...  

This post is more than likely going to serve as a venting post for me so no worries if you don't have time to read or respond.  Just trying to make sense of it all.  After a long three years invested of trying we decided to take the IVF route.  Our RE extracted five eggs from me.  Only three were good and and only one made it through the different stages fertilization.  OUR ONE little bean.

We had the FET done on October 17th.  I am 6 weeks and 2 days pregnant.... Cautiously I might add.  My pregnancy levels were rising nicely and my last check was 714 which was about 17 days after the transfer.  This past week we had our first U/S.  All the components were there as stated by our RE.  There was a fetal pole (our little bean), a yolk and a sac.  Our little bean's HB was 93 per minute (I was bang on 6 weeks when i had the U/S done).  I had never had an U/S that early with any of my other children.  Our RE was very cautious and was concerned with the size of my gestational sac.  He was measuring .33 so all the markers were there except the size of sac but also stated that it's "still early".

Well I received a call yesterday about my pregnancy levels from Monday...they did not rise too much and were 850 (should be over 1000) and I was told to "be prepared". My estrogen and progesterone were perfect. Could it be that my levels may just be "slow to rise"?  In any case our next U/S which is on the 19th is vital.

Upon hearing that news it obviously took my breath away with fear, anxiety and tears.  I lost my composure starting crying, hyperventilating, etc.  But I had to gain my composure for my little bean and was a situation that I needed to resolve immediately.  Once I absorbed the news I immediately took to my circle of friends who I know are fiercely faithful and asked for a prayers.  I then ran to see to see my accupuncturist because I needed to balance myself out and so glad that I did.

Today I am calm and praying that my levels rise to support this baby.  I pray for this little bean and know s/he is a fighter.  S/he has come all this way and my body will support this baby and will submit for this baby's survival .  My husband and I have fought for this baby and there is no way that I will EVER give up, not when we heard a HEARTBEAT on Monday!!

I was given the option of coming back this Friday instead of Wednesday to be retested but I felt if I did that it would be an indication of giving up.  I decided not to do that and to give our little bean the time s/he needed to grow and my body the time to regulate itself.

As I was looking back on my previous pregnancies I have never had my blood drawn for any of them...never.  Thinking back I also never had such an early U/S either obviously being we did IVF the circumstances are completely different and you cannot make a comparison.  The earliest U/S we had were probably between 7 and 8 weeks. So I have no benchmark to compare previous numbers from my other pregnancies either.  How do I know that my body does not has a history of slow to rise Hcg levels?  I don't. Also looking back I have never, ever had morning sickness either..never.  I just don't know what that means to experience MS when pregnant.  I did not care about levels with my other two because quite honestly they were never brought to my attention. Of course with IVF everything is brought to your attention.

So this coming Wednesday is a vital U/S for us and I can only hope and pray that my body is slow to produce high pregnancy levels.

***Vent over***  

mandyreads

Will definitely say a prayer that your LO is safe and snug and growing exactly like it should be.

ThreeXsaCharm

@Mandyreads thank you so much for your thoughts.  We appreciate it.

KirstenAlecia

FX and prayers for you. 

Samuelismomma

Praying that your little one snuggles in and grows. I don't know a lot about ivf but I know frozen embies start out lower hcg then , ovulated . That's what I've heard. Good luck! Keep us updated!

Lm92599

praying for your little bean, Praying for rising levels. No stress! its not good. praying you find a peace.

ThreeXsaCharm

Thank you  very much for your thoughts and prayers @KirstenAlecia @Samuelismomma and @Lm92599... 

NeonNoon

Good luck @ThreeXsaCharm.  Hang in there.  I hope you'll have some good news by your next appointment.

ThreeXsaCharm

@NeonNoon thankyou.  I have a calm resolve and have hope in my heart. The hope was the heartbeat we heard.  

I've up my acupuncture session to every other day until Wednesday to keep me balanced and picturing myself very pregnant in the coming months.  Positive thoughts and positive vibes.

tmorash

Good luck for great results at your next appointment!

BookishMomma

This is my 5th pregnancy, but I only have 1 child (DS, 3yo). My last 3 pregnancies ended in miscarriage. I had no morning sickness and few symptoms with DS and he was born full term and healthy. With my last pregnancy, which I lost due to a chromosomal abnormality, I was nauseous from the day I got my BFP. So at least for me, symptoms are not a great indicator of a healthy pregnancy. This time around, my symptoms are pretty light, too, more like my pregnancy with DS. I'm hoping its a good sign.

eta: My HCG levels were lowish and slowish to rise this pregnancy (61 at 4w, 113 at 4w2d, 284 at 4w6d, 1108 at 5w6d... that amounts to doubling times of 54 hours, 72 hours, and 85 hours, respectively). Then this week Tuesday we saw a heartbeat of 114 on U/S. A HB is a great sign. Can you focus on that until you know more? It is so hard to feel like you are in limbo. I have heard people say that HCG levels aren't a great marker anymore after you've seen a heartbeat? I didn't do IVF, but I do know a lot of success stories about lowish betas because I was googling like crazy while I was getting mine. Like you, I wonder if I just have lower HCG than most women, seeing as that I had few symptoms with my one successful pregnancy (so far). I never had my levels checked then because I didn't have any issues at that point.

ThreeXsaCharm

BookishMomma said: "Can you focus on that until you know more? It is so hard to feel like you are in limbo. I have heard people say that HCG levels aren't a great marker anymore after you've seen a heartbeat? I didn't do IVF, but I do know a lot of success stories about lowish betas because I was googling like crazy while I was getting mine. Like you, I wonder if I just have lower HCG than most women, seeing as that I had few symptoms with my one successful pregnancy (so far). I never had my levels checked then because I didn't have any issues at that point."
@BookishMamma thank you so much for your post and congrats on your pregnancy.  You are right "focus to say on the heartbeat!!" I, too have also read that HcG's are just a marker and not to put all your eggs in one basket because of that number, that is why the range is so wide.

I'm wondering the same exact thing as well.  I read an article about the the highs, averages and lows of HCG and it mentioned in the article that someone's in every category, it just so happens that you may be in the low and not to fret over it as long as the numbers are rising.

I just don't like feeling anxious. It's a horrible feeling. Now I'm wondering and second guessing myself if I made the right choice of keeping my original appointment of the 19th instead of going tomorrow...but in the long run I think it was the best so it gives us both more time.

I hope the rest of your pregnancy journey is a joyful one...  

supersarah77

You are a strong mama and are protecting your little bean in there, giving him or her the best possible environment to grow and thrive. Thinking very positive thoughts for your u/s tomorrow. Hang in there. We're all rooting for you and that little bean.

ThreeXsaCharm

@supersarah77 Thank you so much for your post and thinking of me for tomorrow. Your thoughts are appreciated more than you know.

I just got back from my acupuncture and am feeling balanced but would be lying if I said there were not any nerves bubbling up to the surface right now for tomorrow.  All you need to do is just look at my nails/cuticles which are normally manicured 24/7. X_X