2nd baby, Shower ok if none before?

DomesticAtty

Having my second child next spring. Two years ago, when we were pregnant with our first child, DHs family said they were going to throw us a shower, but never followed through (they blamed it on scheduling conflicts). We received a couple random gifts for our first, despite not having a shower. DH seems to think his family will offer to throw us a shower this time since last time it didn't happen. If they do offer, would it be tacky to accept since this is our second child and they will only be 2 years apart?

sschwege

Sorry you didn't have a shower with your first, but the fact still remains that you are already parents.  A shower is to welcome you to parenthood, you are already a member of that club, so you can't be re-welcomed.  As pp said people do not need a party to give presents, those who want to will.  Last time you received gifts and did not have a shower! 

Somebody will probably tell you that every baby should be celebrated and second, third, tenth showers are appropriate.  They are incorrect, if it was about the baby it should be in attendance!  Generally if you have to ask if something is tacky, it probably is.  If someone like your MIL offers, you could say something like, "How nice of you to offer, but we are all set with baby stuff.  But I would love a chance to get together before the baby comes!  What if we all (MIL, SIL, BFF) all go out to lunch, or have a spa day, etc!"

DomesticAtty

Thanks for the input!

Amstreagle

I'm with pps on this. You can always have a meet the baby get together once baby is here to celebrate your new addition to the family.

MrsPDX

Its definitely ok! Every mother deserves to have a baby shower memory, its a very special occasion! I think the whole idea that a baby shower is an "introduction to motherhood" is bogus. A baby shower should celebrate mom and baby, and that should not be restricted for just your first child. 

sschwege

MrsPDX said:

Its definitely ok! Every mother deserves to have a baby shower memory, its a very special occasion! I think the whole idea that a baby shower is an "introduction to motherhood" is bogus. A baby shower should celebrate mom and baby, and that should not be restricted for just your first child. 

Ah yes, because OP should really be taking etiquette advice from someone who keeps the sex a secret from her guests to better control what kind of gifts she receives. 

Engineer81

MrsPDX said:

Its definitely ok! Every mother deserves to have a baby shower memory, its a very special occasion! I think the whole idea that a baby shower is an "introduction to motherhood" is bogus. A baby shower should celebrate mom and baby, and that should not be restricted for just your first child. 

The level of obnoxiousness and entitlement is exquisite.

chicagojackie

sschwege said:

MrsPDX said:

Its definitely ok! Every mother deserves to have a baby shower memory, its a very special occasion! I think the whole idea that a baby shower is an "introduction to motherhood" is bogus. A baby shower should celebrate mom and baby, and that should not be restricted for just your first child. 

Ah yes, because OP should really be taking etiquette advice from someone who keeps the sex a secret from her guests to better control what kind of gifts she receives. 


(Standing ovation)
Well played.

redhead1983

I think it might be okay to allow them to host a small shower if the lack of follow-through for the first shower has caused any rift in the relationship which you think could be repaired via the shower. If there is guilt or resentment on either side, this may be a way to put those feelings to bed. If everything is fine, it's probably best to leave it alone.