Should we change our minds?

mdupon70997

DH and I have decided to not find out the sex of our baby. And the mystery and anticipation of the delivery date is really exciting to both of us. But yesterday we went into a baby clothing store (partly to look for gifts for SIL's shower and also to look at things for our baby), and DH got pretty emotional. Not crying weepy emotional, but sad quiet emotional. The amount of gender specific clothing compared to neutral clothing was overwhelming. And while he found it fun to pick out things for our nephew-to-be he was sad that all we had to choose from for our baby was plain white, yellow with ducks, or green with frogs (otherwise you get into boy or girl clothing.) not finding out was my decision initially and then he fell in love with the idea of not knowing. But I don't want him to feel left out. I don't want him to feel like I'm making all of the decisions about our baby an he's just there to provide support. He insisted that he still wants the gender to be a surprise. But it sucks to see him bummed out in stores.

LimaD

We're not team green for sure yet...haven't decided if we'll find out or not.  But if we are, one thing we'll do is buy a take-home outfit for a boy and a girl and take them both with to the hospital. That way we still have something special without having to go shop right after the baby's born...maybe helping pick out the two outfit options will be fun for him?

Either way I'd talk to him about it and see if he has changed his mind and wants to find out.  Either way it'll be a surprise! at 20 wks or ~40wks

Alygohome

I was super worried about clothing for team green baby (we wanted to find out sex but baby wouldn't show us) but I have found sooo much cute clothes. I haven't bought as much as if I knew the sex but I have all the basics covered. After baby is born and we know sizing a bit better my aunt/mom are having the baby shower and we will probably buy more clothes after baby is here. I love not knowing but it drives my husband nuts.

mc0113

emmyg65 said:

Buy the basics for 0-3 months now and as soon as the baby is born, you can go crazy with gender-specific stuff for all the rest of the years you'll have to clothe your child. We're Team Green too and Baby Gap has tons of cute neutral stuff online, btw, and there's almost always a sale.

We're Team Green and just about everything I have bought is from Gap and Old Navy. They have tons of grey/ivory/white/navy baby stuff that will be perfect for the first few months. 

jennypolkadots

We're team green, too. Of course we are curious but not finding out has become so much easier as we get closer to the due date. It's also more exciting for our families - everyone has some feeling of rather it's a boy or girl lol Still, there are times I will find something just so incredibly adorable that is clearly masculine or feminine and wish for a second that I knew. But only a second.

You'll find most of the "gender neutral" stuff in the boys section, and I happen to think of most boys stuff as wearable (and even cuter) on girls. Some of our very favorite little clothes have monsters or firetrucks on them! Like another poster said, Gap has the cutest stuff - little knit sweaters and stuff in gray and white. But I guess even if we knew the gender most of their stuff would be gender neutral, it usually just looks cuter to me! 

You will have so many years to buy gender specific clothing, I just don't see the rush. We've bought most of our stuff second hand because babies are tiny for such a short time. Many babies skip the newborn size anyways and it ends up being a waste. The best part about gender neutral is you can reuse it and pass it on so easily! 

ashiscute

I actually find a lot of the neutral stuff more precious because it just looks so innocent and baby like.  I can sob hysterically over anything with yellow ducks or teddy bears.  

I think it's pretty easy to get neutral onesies and sleepers.  That's really all you need at the beginning.  I like the idea of buying one cute outfit for each and bringing them both to the hospital.  I have been team pink once and team green once and I much preferred the experience of being team green.  It outweighed not having the perfectly decorated, clothed newborn. 

jennypolkadots

Lima mentions picking out a boy and girl take home outfits - that's a great idea! We did something a little weird.

We had the 20 week scan but didn't want to know. The tech put the picture in an envelope and sealed it. I gave it and $100 to my best friend. She is buying us a take home outfit and wrapping it up for us to take with us to the birth. After the birth, we will have a second surprise and I am so excited! She has amazing taste and can keep a secret, so it's been super fun and I really look forward to opening the gift! 

GingerMommy315

Neutral clothing is hard to come by, but it is out there if you search.  I tend to like a lot of it because I like simpler things and white clothing for baby appeals to me. 

You will probably do well at your shower because people will be forced to buy the things you actually need and won't be sidetracked by all the cute clothes.

When I found out I was having a girl the first thing I heard from nearly every friend/family member was "I can't wait to start buying clothes for her!"  I am anticipating receiving mounds and mounds of clothes!  Hopefully I still get a few things I actually "need" too. 

mdupon70997

Jenny that's a fabulous idea!!! Our family members (mostly our moms) are begging to let them know. And we've been very serious about not telling anyone at all. But I would be down with giving money to the godmother and asking her to do some gender specific shopping for the take home outfit. 

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Amstreagle

GingerMommy315 said:

Neutral clothing is hard to come by, but it is out there if you search.  I tend to like a lot of it because I like simpler things and white clothing for baby appeals to me. 

You will probably do well at your shower because people will be forced to buy the things you actually need and won't be sidetracked by all the cute clothes.

When I found out I was having a girl the first thing I heard from nearly every friend/family member was "I can't wait to start buying clothes for her!"  I am anticipating receiving mounds and mounds of clothes!  Hopefully I still get a few things I actually "need" too. 

Wow. Do you realize how incredibly ungrateful and snobby this sounds?
Crazy idea buy your child the things you "need" considering you are the parent therefore should plan on supporting your baby.

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adetheridge

jennypolkadots said:

Lima mentions picking out a boy and girl take home outfits - that's a great idea! We did something a little weird.

We had the 20 week scan but didn't want to know. The tech put the picture in an envelope and sealed it. I gave it and $100 to my best friend. She is buying us a take home outfit and wrapping it up for us to take with us to the birth. After the birth, we will have a second surprise and I am so excited! She has amazing taste and can keep a secret, so it's been super fun and I really look forward to opening the gift! 

I absolutely LOVE this idea!!! I have not decided if I want to be team green or not yet. My fiance and dad do not want to know but my mom and I would love to know. I honestly do not think I could keep it from either one of them. I would probably slip up in he moment and show them something I had bought. Giving the picture away would completely fix this issue though! Thank you for sharing this awesome idea!!! 

hetispagetti

Me and my partner where in too minds about finding out but similar to you when to the shops to look for clothes and pushchairs and everything is either boy or girl. I liked the idea of being able go shopping after baby was born, but I hated the thought of putting my new baby in clothes I didn't really like. Also I didn't know how I would feel after birth so I didn't want to have to think about having to go shopping with a new born straight after i came out of hospital!! 

FreddyisReady

I am Team Green and found tons of cute gender neutral clothes in Macy's the other day. I second the gray and navy as gender neutral. I also found darling pj's light blue with white pandas, a sleeper that was red, black, and gray, and lots of cute clothes in the boys section that girls can wear also. We are using the colors gray and aqua as our nursery theme.

We will probably buy the bulk of our clothes after the baby is born. That's fine. But we will have newborn basics and other basics. Believe me, our baby certainly won't be naked.

thejucheidea

unconventionalatbest said:

@Bliss+Berry‌ Oh, of course...

Dude are you just following her around making snarky comments on her posts?

Beamer14

You could always buy a handful of boy outfits, and a handful of girl outfits, and just keep the tags on so you can return whatever you won't be needing. That way you can get the fun and excitement out of buying whatever cute outfits you need, and wondering which ones you'll be keeping. And when you return the others, just exchange them for the sex you need

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WeLiveInMaine

It's obnoxious how gender specific all the stuff is. My plan is to not buy very much other than newborn sizes and keep it really basic. I got colorful diaper covers so white shirts work really well. You can find super cute new or practiclly new special occasion clothes at second hand stores and just buy a couple you can't live with our regardless of them being gendered just to have on hand. To heck with pigeon holes, have fun with it!
Also my husband read that labor goes faster if you are saving finding the gender for the birthday.

MrsPDX

I was going to be team green, but DH did not want to. I kind of wish we could have that special moment in the delivery room, but at the same time I cannot wait to buy cute boy or girl clothes after we find out. Is this your last child? If not you could always find out this time and wait next? I know DH said as a FTD, he is really happy to find out, since it will connect him more with the baby. 

mommybelanova

I love the idea of giving the results to a friend with great taste!! My partner is refusing at all cost to find out, I on the other hand want to because I want to be prepared as possible being a FTM. This idea is great and we both agree! We're going to give his sister the results and money and she will buy some clothes for the little one! she has awesome taste and I'm looking forward to seeing what she finds

missamERICA

mdupon70997 Just wondering what the reason is for being Team Green? If it's causing you and your spouse undo stress, or making this journey less enjoyable for you, they why not just find out? I would suggest doing whatever will make you BOTH the most happy. This should be an enjoyable and exciting time. Trust me, it's still a special moment when you find out what you are having -- even if it happens half way through. Good luck.

Amstreagle

unconventionalatbest said:

Okay, I was rolling my eyes at the first person to take this thread in a direction of baby shower etiquette/ gender specific whatever... I honestly dont remember at this point, and I really don't care enough to go back and look. It just happened to be bliss+berry. Not following anyone around, and not sure where anyone got that idea. Also not sure what would give anyone the idea that I think people are scared of me. Not my intentions all around.

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