*~September Sapphires Check-In~* (Nov. 11)

MyFirstRaspberry

This is an open check-in for those with a loss of a LO and/or EDD in September of any year.

~NEW MEMBERS~ If you are new with a recent loss, welcome and (((hugs))). I’m so sorry for your loss and that you find yourself here but I hope you’ll find that this is an amazing place to give & receive love and support. Please introduce yourself and be sure to include your loss/EDD to be added to the list.

~CURRENT MEMBERS~ Happy Tuesday ladies! (((hugs))) to all who need them!

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~RECENT GRADUATES~ If you have gotten your BFP and have graduated, congratulations and have a H&H 9 months! Please PM me the great news as it is sometimes very difficult for me to check PgAL. If you get your BFP after the check-in is posted, then I will add it to next week’s check-in.

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Members:        

anglndsguse44         9/03/2014

zapgurl44                   9/04/2014

QuigleyCat1               9/07/2012

megrae12                  loss 9/09/13

MyFirstRaspberry     9/09/2013

natsfans84                9/10/2013

CallaLily30                 9/18/2013

jenn0021                    9/25/2011

Flowerstar1023         9/26/2014

Graceanne927          9/27/2014

MelissaL124              9/27/2014

ashlee113085            9/28/2014

eliida                         9/29/2014

LauraO11                   9/2014

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If you don’t see your name below, it just means that we missed you last week. No worries, just give us an update.

Sorry for the lack of personal notes this week ladies. Fill us in on what is going on in your world.
@CallaLily30  -
@eliida –  
@LauraO11  -  
@ashlee113085  -
@megrae12 –

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UPDATE: Update us on appointments, cycle days, struggles, successes, non-TTCAL news and everything else in between.
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QOTW:  Ladies, I need to take a step back from being the leader of this check-in. My 2^nd Femara cycle was unsuccessful and I don’t have it in me to provide support right now. I am looking for someone to take over this check-in.
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Special ((hugs)) for @megrae12 who experienced a c/p this week. I’m so sorry.

 

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eliida

@MyFirstRaspberry‌ I'm so, so sorry. Unless anyone else really wants to, I can take over the check-in. Huge ((hugs)) to you, @megrae12‌, and all our sapphires. What a bs week.

ashlee113085

((hugs)) @megrae12 and @MyFirstRaspberry.

So I am kind of at a loss for myself. I talked to my doctor about my concerns about potentially having Asherman's based on my intense O pain and the super light AF that I had. She is providing the images from my ultrasound to the RE in her practice. He has a lot of experience with Asherman's so she wants to see what he thinks. I am pretty nervous about the prospect of having to deal with Asherman's on top of everything else. I feel like I'm doing all I can and my body is just not cooperating. I feel like when it comes to statistics I am never in the majority. I'm supposed to hear back tomorrow from the RE to see if he recommends any further testing for Asherman's or if we will just continue as is. My doctor offered an rx for progesterone to thicken the lining, but she is very reluctant to do so since I was able to get pg and maintain the pregnancy on my own, and it was the hydrocephalus and complications from the SB that caused the loss. *sigh* 

CallaLily30

@MyFirstRaspberry - I'm so sorry.  Sending so many ((((HUGS))) your way.  If you ever need anything at all, please reach out to me. 

There isn't much going on with me on the TTC front.  I'm just waiting for AF before we decide when our next FET will be.  It maybe this year, but may have to wait until next year.  Today is CD13.  I have long cycles and I'm not temping so I have no idea when AF may show up.  Thanksgiving is probably the earliest I would expect so we will be cutting it close to a cycle this year before my clinic's close for the holidays.

In other news, plans are falling into place for my temporary relocation.  I will be starting work a week from today in VA.  My first stay will only be 10 days though and I will be back for Thanksgiving so it's just an extended business trip right now.

I would love to help with the checkin but I'm not sure how much time I'll have with my new job.  @eliida - If you need help, let me know.

@megrae12 - so many ((((HUGS)))) 

megrae12

Hello ladies. @MyFirstRaspberry so many ((Hugs)) to you. I have been thinking about you. 

I am not doing all that great. I started cramping yesterday and they were debilitating. I was really scared and worried and H was kind of freaking out. I couldn't move, I hurt so bad. H kept asking if we needed to go to the ER. It was really bad. I started bleeding this morning and cramps are still bad but as bad as last night. 

Since I stared bleeding today and H wants to try again this month, I have to call my RE and let him know. Sigh* There is no rest for the weary in IF. Ugh! Has anyone done Folistem? That is our next course of action. It means 7-12 days of injects (gulp) and labs and u/s every few days. I am already tired thinking about it. I will go on progesterone as well. Bleh. 

ashlee113085

@megrae12 I don't have any advice to give, but that sounds exhausting! ((Hugs))

eliida

@ashlee113085 It's always frustrating when our bodies do not cooperate. FX that your RE does not DX Asherman's. Please update us.

@CallaLily30 Glad to hear that everything is falling into place for your temporary relocation. Does this mean you found a place for your puppy to go with? Any luck finding a doctor to monitor you in VA?

@megrae12 So many ((hugs)) to you and YH. I hate that you're in so much pain. If it continues, I hope you'll get in touch with your doctor/go to the ER. I've heard from many women who have gone through both, that MC can actually be more painful than childbirth. It's seems so wholly unfair that on top of our heartbreak we have to manage incredible physical pain to boot. No advice on the Folistem, but I hope you and your RE come up with a plan that you are comfortable with.

MyFirstRaspberry

@eliida - Thank you SOO much for offering to take over the check in for me. I am very thankful. If you PM me your personal email addy, I will email you the word document I have been using as a template each week as well as the list of members/grads.

@ashlee113085 - I totally understand the lost feeling. It really sucks. I hope the RE can offer some insight as to whether or not you are dealing with Asherman's. My FX that you are not.  I totally understand that feeling of doing everything right, but still not getting the results you want. It is truely unfair.

@CallaLily30 -  Thanks for the extra ((hugs)). I hope AF cooperates with the timeframe you are hoping for. I think we are planning another medicated cycle but then I want some time off for the holidays. If you ever get some free time while in VA, let me know.

@megrae12 - my poor friend. I am so sorry you are dealing with so much pain. I wish I could relieve some of it for you. This is so very unfair. I do not have experience with Follistim. I've given myself bravelle but that was only 1 extra shot besides the trigger. My only advice is take it one day at a time. deep breaths.

purplehaze11

Hugs to all who need them. I'm just swinging in for an update, as I've really pulled back from TTCAL lately, I just am not in a great head space to give support I'm surviving- trying to keep busy until my surgery, and work has been crazy. The constant heaviness and/or pain from the fibroid doesn't let me forget it for long, unfortunately.

eliida

@LauraO11 ((hugs)) Is there anyway to manage the pain from the fibroid until your surgery? I hope that the work crazy is that good sort of crazy that makes time pass quickly.

@MyFirstRaspberry I just messaged you.

ashlee113085

((hugs)) @LauraO11 fibroids suck. I'm sorry that you are dealing with pain. I hope your surgery takes care of it and goes smoothly. 

MyFirstRaspberry

LauraO11 said:

Hugs to all who need them. I'm just swinging in for an update, as I've really pulled back from TTCAL lately, I just am not in a great head space to give support I'm surviving- trying to keep busy until my surgery, and work has been crazy. The constant heaviness and/or pain from the fibroid doesn't let me forget it for long, unfortunately.

@LauraO11 - Sending you ((hugs)) back. I understand your head space because I am right there with you. I hate it. I'm so sorry that you are feeling stuck right now. One day at a time. That is what I tell myself.

ashlee113085

Hey ladies! I just wanted to send an update on what the RE said because I'm slightly freaking out. So, I am scheduled for an HSG on November 19 to determine if I actually have Asherman's. I wasn't able to talk to my doctor today, but the nurse who I talked to said, "She wants you to schedule an HSG with your RE." And when I asked about the u/s she said, "oh it looks here like your ultrasound only shows small fibroids nothing else." I know that u/s is not a way for diagnosis with Asherman's, so I wasn't super surprised, I am just hoping that it's a "just in case" kind of thing. I am hoping to be able to talk to my doctor on Monday since I wasn't able to talk to her today. I am slightly losing my mind though. There's a part of me that is mad at myself for not choosing to deliver and going with the D&E, but then I feel like I wasn't really making any of my own decisions and instead was just going with what DH said was statistically less of a risk because I was too in shock with the whole dx of SB and all of the overwhelming birth defects and then ultimately the loss. UGH. Sapphires, it's a rough week this week. I love you guys for being here. 

eliida

@ashlee113085‌ So many ((hugs)). You and YH were faced with an impossible situation and you did your best with the information you had. None of this is your fault.

Any idea how quickly they can get you in for an hsg?

eliida

Seriously, Sapphires, what are we drinking tonight?

ashlee113085

@eliida my HSG is scheduled for November 19. I'm way nervous about it.

MyFirstRaspberry

ashlee113085 said:

Hey ladies! I just wanted to send an update on what the RE said because I'm slightly freaking out. So, I am scheduled for an HSG on November 19 to determine if I actually have Asherman's. I wasn't able to talk to my doctor today, but the nurse who I talked to said, "She wants you to schedule an HSG with your RE." And when I asked about the u/s she said, "oh it looks here like your ultrasound only shows small fibroids nothing else." I know that u/s is not a way for diagnosis with Asherman's, so I wasn't super surprised, I am just hoping that it's a "just in case" kind of thing. I am hoping to be able to talk to my doctor on Monday since I wasn't able to talk to her today. I am slightly losing my mind though. There's a part of me that is mad at myself for not choosing to deliver and going with the D&E, but then I feel like I wasn't really making any of my own decisions and instead was just going with what DH said was statistically less of a risk because I was too in shock with the whole dx of SB and all of the overwhelming birth defects and then ultimately the loss. UGH. Sapphires, it's a rough week this week. I love you guys for being here. 

Big ((HUGS)) @ashlee113085

Don't you dare try to blame anything on yourself. Much easier said than done, I know. We could play the what if game all night long. What if you attempted to deliver but ended up with retained tissue, what if that retrained tissue got infected, what if the infection permanently damaged your reproductive organs. Focus on the now and what you can do now. My HSG showed scar tissue and I was able to have that removed. In fact, the HSG made it look much worst then it actually was. So get the HSG and go from there. Take it one day at a time.

ashlee113085

@MyFirstRaspberry I know that you are right.Those are all things that I hadn't thought of, and all of these things help me to realize that DH and I have made the decisions we ultimately felt were best for us, and they were. After a weekend of being super emotional, I realize that having the HSG is a good thing because it can only help me to move on...either with a dx or a realization that we just need time.