March 2014 Moms
alfriedeck
member
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Ins and Outs of Sleep Training
alfriedeck
member
Ok I know there have been mention of people sleep training but I have not seen a thread dedicated to it.
1) what was the situation that lead you to sleep training (the last straw)?
2) did you use a method or did your own thing?
3) how long did it take to get LO sleeping?
4) did you try other things before sleep training?
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Re: Ins and Outs of Sleep Training
1) Lo has gone from STTN 2 months ago to now only sleeping in her crib for an hour or two tops. She sleeps fine with me in my bed. I tried everything from leaving her in the crib to rocking her, but with working I cannot stay up for hours on end with her every night trying to get her back to sleep , so hince the taking back to bed with me. Now Mama is tired!!!
2) not started any sleep training but feel it is time
3) Currently takes about 1 hour to get her asleep enough to transfer back to crib
4) tried just patting, talking, no talking, rocking, holding. The only thing I have not tried yet is CIO or any other "sleep" method
this is a great thread, I hope more girls chime in.
We haven't done any sleep training, at least not in the usual sense. lo went on his own from waking every hour (our first night at home) to waking about every 3 hours, to 2 wake ups a night. when he was at 2, (around 10 weeks old) I kept feeding him for the 1st wake up but I would try to skip feeding for the 2nd so that he would gradually stop waking up that 2nd time to eat. I'd change him if he was wet (lights off, no cold wipes, no talking, just swap out diaper) then bounce back to sleep. it took a couple weeks but it worked. he then dropped the last wake up on his own at about 14/16 weeks old, and slept from roughly 8:30 pm - 6:30 am.
now his only problem is waking up too early in the morning and not being able to fall back asleep unless he sleeps in our arms. (4 am/5am ish) if we put him down, even if asleep, even in his swing instead of crib, he will /scream/ for hours. DH wants to let him cio, but I just can't. he isn't fussing, he screams bloody murder. and I can't sleep when he is crying. andand I've noticed on the few days we did try to let him cio that 1) he never falls back to sleep, he will just cry til wakeup time and 2) he is super fussy and clingy for the next 24 hrs and I have a much worse time putting him down for naps and bed the next day (like he thinks I'm going to leave him forever). sooooo.....I've been just getting up if I can't get him back down and letting him sleep on me on the couch. at least we both get some rest that way, and he is happy to nap and go to bed the next night. it seems like letting him sleep on me has been better / not habit-forming, which kinda surprised me. DH is still pushing to just let him scream but I can't do that...
oh just to clarify, after reading that last sentence, I'm not against sleep training. my LO's cries are just too intense for me to handle. any input is greatly appreciated.
2) did you use a method or did your own thing? Little bit of both. I'm okay with CIO at this point, dh is not. Luckily lo is okay with falling asleep on her own most the time. But for the other times, I do let her CIO or do timed crying. We still use paci and nursing to sleep when needed...
3) how long did it take to get LO sleeping? A few days I would say. It's still a work in progress. She's not sttn yet, but we have drastically lowered the amount of times
4) did you try other things before sleep training? Kind of, but nothing in particular.
I've also made sure to reinstate a better nighttime routine because I had really gotten away from that
I talked to LO's pedi yesterday to be sure she is healthy and not having issues sleeping because she is sick. She does have a chronic cough. Per her dr her upper airway is great and thinks it may be reflux that is causing the cough so put her on some meds. He does not think that is why she is not sleeping. Mamma has created this monster. So he recommended Ferbers book: Solve your childs sleep problems. It covers what to do for multiple scenarios from sleep associations to bed wetting.
I will give it a shot this weekend (mother will be in town) and will update you on Monday, or Friday night/Saturday morning depending how things are going!!
just a quick update, and thanks for the input ladies!
What I've ended up doing is getting up with him when he wakes up early if it's 2 hrs or less until his normal wake up time (normal time is 6-6:30 am) and I will bounce him back to sleep then just let him sleep on me on the couch until normal time. I don't feed him until 7 am so that he isn't waking hungry earlier and earlier...I'll change him, brush my teeth, etc from 6:30 until 7.
My thinking was that by letting him sleep on me he would get used to being asleep until the 'new' 6:30 (stupid time change!). I felt that even if I could handle the crying, he would get used to waking at an earlier time and continue the behavior. like when you wake up on weekends at your work time even though you don't set your alarm...that kind of thing. so as long as he slept, even if it was on me, sleeping was good. so far it has worked pretty well. last night was great...just one wake up to put the pacifier back in then up on his own a bit after 6. I hope he keeps it up!
Good luck to all you lovely ladies!
She was a good sleeper from the day she was born. But since the appearance of teeth, we've been having a rough go of it.
Her daytime schedule used to be: eat, play, nap (binky & blanket), repeat.
Now it's nurse, play, nurse to sleep. The main issue with this is that she doesn't last very long between needing to nurse. It's stressing me out because I feel as though I'm not getting anything but feeding the baby done all day.
For a while we were "crying it out" for naps on my lap. But then she would only sleep on me, therefore rendering me useless for the 40 minute she would sleep.
Today I tried letting her CIO. 20 minutes, check, comfort & soothe for 5 & repeat. She cried for 40 minutes & the second time I went to check her she just passed out in my arms. The only way she stayed in her crib was cuddled up to my nursing pillow. (See image)
Have I created a monster? She used to love taking a binky, but she ditched that habit while teething & decided rubber nipples are for chewing, not pacifying. She doesn't have any sort of lovey, so I'm at a loss for what to try next.
Am I doing okay with the 20 minute increments? She doesn't escalate all the way to a 10, she reaches a 5, maybe 6 & stays there for 20 minutes. I'm going to continue doing this for today. I'm hoping it helps us get off the boob-wagon. I need some longer nap times!!
OH.MY.GOD
I started this last night, I just could not wait until today. Kept her up until past her bedtime 8:30 - recommended to keep them 30 - 60 minutes past- and waited till she was really drowsy. Put in crib gave her a kiss and left. Immediately started to cry and scream. Started the timer. Went in at 3 minutes gave her another kiss layed her back down and told her I would be right back. Immediately sat up and started to cry. Start timer for 5 minutes. at the 4 minute mark she was crying less and starting to lay down some so I did not go in at 5. she was out by the 6 minute mark. YEAH!!!
woke up at 9:30. went in layed her back down gave her a kiss and told her I would be right back. started 3 minute timer. She immediately sat up SCREAMING!!! I almost caved but DH talked me out of it. went in layed her back down gave her a kiss and told her I would be right back. Again with the SCREAMING. start 5 minute timer. went back in and repeat process. Immediately sat up crying - not screaming- start 10 minute timer. at 6 minutes she was starting to cry less and lay down periodically. did not go in at 10 minutes because she was only making sad peeping noise and lay down for longer stretches. Asleep at the 16 minute mark. Holy cow!
woke up twice over night, both times waited 3 minutes before going in, she was asleep before the 3 minutes were up!!!
She spent the first entire night in her crib in a month. WOW. I did not sleep well was just waiting for her to wake up. I think after the first few days I may turn the sound off the monitor. I can hear her when she cries loud, but maybe not hearing her whimpers I wont be tempted to go "save" her
Thanks everyone for the encouragement. I hope it continues tonight.
Oh and she woke up so happy this morning!
Second, I think every situation/family/baby is different and needs things to be tailored to their situation/personality/family life. People like @babycaps are doing the right thing for their LO. I did it differently and I have a friend with a 7 month old who is WAY more flexible about baby sleep than I am and her LO is perfectly fine, well rested, and happy. There is more than one right answer and what works for one family may not work for another. That said, here is what I did (I say "I" because I did it by myself. H is clueless and often working during baby bedtime.)
1) what was the situation that lead you to sleep training (the last straw)? He refused the paci starting at 4 months and by 5 months was insisting on nursing to sleep. I was fine with it until it started to take more than an hour to get him to sleep most nights. By 6 months, he was waking up every 2 hours and wanting to nurse. I decided that nursing to sleep was interfering with his sleep (not to mention mine!) and something needed to be done.
2) did you use a method or did your own thing? LO is very intense and temperamental so I wanted to choose a method that would be very gentle and gradual. I did lots of research. That is an understatement. I dedicated my entire life and every free moment I had to reading and researching infant sleep and sleep training methods. I ultimately chose my own thing after I felt comfortable with every method I read about.
I altered the bedtime routine so that he was nursing (for sustenance), then reading a book, then nursing for comfort, then rocking, then in crib awake, but very drowsy. I limited the comfort nursing and stopped when he slowed and paused a lot. Then, I would rock him which really upset him. When he reached his limit (or I reached mine) I would stop and nurse him again. Some nights, it was too much for him, so I ended up nursing him to sleep. Slowly, I was able to reduce the amount of time he comfort nursed and he learned that rocking was what we did instead. When there was no more comfort nursing and no more tears at bedtime, I started putting him down more awake and rocking him less. Now, we nurse, read a book, rock for about 3 min, then he goes in his crib. Sometimes, I have to go back in and rock him once or twice more before he settles. He ALWAYS goes to bed awake though.
Also, when I put him down, he may cry or fuss a bit, but he lets me know when he needs help settling. It's a different cry, super intense. When we first started, all the crying was super intense. I never really let him CIO, but would try to wait as long as I could before going back in. He would often surprise me and settle down within 5 minutes when I had my hand on the doorknob!
3) how long did it take to get LO sleeping? It took 1 hard week and 1 more semi-hard week to break the nursing to sleep habit. It took 2 more weeks before he was regularly going to sleep without crying.
4) did you try other things before sleep training? Yes I tried everything and cried when I figured out I had to sleep train because I didn't want to let my baby CIO. I choose and altered a method that worked for me so I didn't have to. It took longer but ultimately worked and there were very few tears!
I also learned through this process that my kid will fuss or talk and that's okay to let him do that - he's totally fine with it. There was no hard crying and I still never go more than 5 minutes before I go back in and try again.
How long did it take for there to be no tears at bed time?
LO is now sleeping in her crib all night. usually only 1-2 wakeups that only last less then 2 minutes. Bedtime takes about 5 minutes of crying then she is out.