Intro & How did you decide when to start TTC?

bmo88

Hi Everyone,

I have been on the Knot & the Nest in the past, but I am just now making my way over to the Bump. I am 26, DH just turned 28. We have been together for 11 1/2 years (married for a little over 1 year). We both graduated from undergrad over 4 years ago (DH also finished his master's degree, I am half way done), we have stable jobs and just built our first home this past June. We are also aggressively paying down our student loans, mortgage and car payments while simultaneously building our savings back up. 

My question to you ladies is...how did you decided when to start TTC?

For us, until about 3 months ago, the idea of TTC or having a child was very far from my mind. We had a "plan" to wait 5-7 years so that we could pay off almost all our debt (including the mortgage), travel more and just enjoy our 20's. Now, I am starting to feel the inklings of baby fever! I thought it would just be a phase and it would go away, but it won't! I even asked DH what he thought about having a baby soon and he said,"I am fine with it, but you are the one that wants to wait." So, that re-opened the discussion.

Now, DH and I have discussed this extensively and the logical side of me has kicked in as well. We have agreed we will start TTC in February/March of 2017. So, only about 2 1/2 years from now! I know that seems far a way for most, but that cuts our timeline in half. In some ways it terrifies me, but in many ways it's really exciting. I feel more than ready to take on the necessary responsibilities/sacrifices (as ready as you can be), but I know we want to be in a better financial place. So, we will pay down all of our student loans and our car in the next 2 1/2 years. That will just leave us with our mortgage payment. We could also squeeze in at least one major vacation/trip.

Also, my parents are planning on moving back to our area in about 2 years, so that would be extremely helpful. I am not banking on my parents to help, but my mom is currently a pre-school teacher and is planning on opening a home daycare when she moves here. So, it would be great to just have her around for support and a double bonus if she does have the daycare.

In my mind, 2 1/2 years seems like a really good compromise because it gives us time to get most of what we want to get out of they way and will put me around 29/30 when giving birth.

Sorry for the long post, but I would love to hear how others came to the decision of when to start TTC!!!!

bmo88

Very interesting approach and that's great you are both comfortable with it! In some ways, my DH has that approach and for me, it's almost like that. If finances weren't a concern, it would be a "feel comfortable" approach. But I know that if we don't focus on our finances, we won't get to a certain point, and then I won't be comfortable with TTC. I don't know if that makes sense...

Sauterne

Congrats bmo88, you seem to have a great strategy for ttc when you are ready. My DH and I have been married for 6 years and together for 15 years total. The discussion of ttc has been happening, and we know we will financially and physically ready when the time comes. I have been off the pill for a month now and I'm waiting for my cycle to start so I can get a sense of timing, but other wise we are just taking it slow. I will be debt free in less than 2 years and it it'll be another 4 years for my DH to be debt free, otherwise we can afford the costs as they come... So we've decided to ttc in December for lack of a better time or reason, September is our favorite month best of luck bmo88

lifeonthehill

You seem to be figuring it all out which is great! Good luck with all of your financial goals!

I am an over planner. I am 23 and H is 25. We have a calender timeline that has changed half a dozen times to meet our wants/needs since our engagement. Our plans have been TTC July 2014, Christmas 2014, Christmas 2015, June 2016 and now(thankfully) October 2015. We have been able to accomplish goals that we had anticipated taking much longer which is why our timeline has changed recently.

We are both ready for it emotionally and we just have a few more boxes to check off over the next year before we TTC. If things change for us financially or mentally we would revisit the whole thing and come up with a new timeline.

bmo88

alyssa32713 said:

You seem to be figuring it all out which is great! Good luck with all of your financial goals!

I am an over planner. I am 23 and H is 25. We have a calender timeline that has changed half a dozen times to meet our wants/needs since our engagement. Our plans have been TTC July 2014, Christmas 2014, Christmas 2015, June 2016 and now(thankfully) October 2015. We have been able to accomplish goals that we had anticipated taking much longer which is why our timeline has changed recently.

We are both ready for it emotionally and we just have a few more boxes to check off over the next year before we TTC. If things change for us financially or mentally we would revisit the whole thing and come up with a new timeline.

I hear you on over planning! Even though things don't always going according to plans, it makes me feel like there is some intention and an element of control. 

jennypolkadots

Check back in 2 1/2 years and let us know if that's still you plan! No, seriously, a lot can happen when you set a date so far in advance.

I understand the excitement. When we got married in 2011 we decided that the perfect time would be 2018. A year later we reevaluated and said 2016. Then things changed and the date moved closer. It finally felt right in May and we got pregnant immediately - now I'm about 7 months along. Finances, relationships, health, jobs, etc... so much can change in a 3 year time frame. For now just live your life and know babies are on the back-burner for good reasons without having some far in the future set date. 

bmo88

jennypolkadots said:

Check back in 2 1/2 years and let us know if that's still you plan! No, seriously, a lot can happen when you set a date so far in advance.

I understand the excitement. When we got married in 2011 we decided that the perfect time would be 2018. A year later we reevaluated and said 2016. Then things changed and the date moved closer. It finally felt right in May and we got pregnant immediately - now I'm about 7 months along. Finances, relationships, health, jobs, etc... so much can change in a 3 year time frame. For now just live your life and know babies are on the back-burner for good reasons without having some far in the future set date. 

I appreciate your comment and understand where you are coming from, but the reality is that moving it to 2 1/2 years is actually moving it up quite a bit from our 5-7 year plan. Could it happen sooner? Possibly, but very very unlikely. Partly due to some of the things mentioned and partly given my career position. I just signed a 2 year contract that if I break it (for any reason, including maternity leave), I would have to pay them back $8,000. It sounds crazy to have signed it, but it did and does still make sense to sign. It resulted in a very substantial pay increase (about $20,000) and I knew I wouldn't be having children for at least 2-3 years. 

So, yes, something could happen to the job position, but that would also delay our plans as we would not actively TTC without job stability. It just doesn't seem wise to have to pay $8,000, find a new job/have to replace a high income. 

But I will definitely check in a few years when we do TTC

silverandgray

Welcome! It sounds like you have a plan that works for you, and that's great. I think the decision to add a little person to your family is so big, it's naturally going to be a different process for everyone depending on their circumstances. 

We didn't set a timeline. Kind of like Joy's situation, it was a series of conversations about our evolving comfort levels and assessments of our situation. We just lived in a way that made sense to us (saving, establishing a stable home), and eventually it made sense to add a child to that life.

My husband and I have been together for eight years and married for two and a half. We were relatively young when we met (20 and 22), and for quite a long time he was straight-up terrified of babies.  About a year ago, we were finally both out of grad school and I had just gotten a new, better-paying job. We were going over my health insurance options and it was a natural time to talk about what kinds of situations we might find ourselves in. We both had this kind of light-bulb-going-on moment where we realized we would no longer look at a potential pregnancy as scary, and that was that. (We own our home, had two paid-off cars, aren't planning any additional school at the moment, etc.)

We gave me a few months to settle into the new job, and started TTC in July. We've been putting the rough equivalent of daycare costs into a joint savings account since January of this year, and it's comforting to know that we are already used to budgeting without that money. 

Congratulations on your new job, btw.