Do You Think About the Family Your Adopted Child Left Behind?

threewaystobaby

Edited by mod.

lorifromwi

I think that's an interesting way to phrase the question, because I think you could also say "Do you think about the family that left your adopted child behind?" depending on the circumstance.  Unfortunately, not all adopted children come from the supportive situations we see here on this board.

I think about little E's family frequently...and they have left her behind, even though they are not making TPR easy.

Dr.Loretta

We see them and communicate regularly, so yes, we do think about her birth family

bumpuser794640

Yeah, just posting link to your blog is against the terms of service, and this is the second time in asany days. We would love to converse with you, but you should really make an effort to be involved in our community if that's what you really want.

We have a visit with our son's BM tomorrow, and I think about her and his BF a lot, especially because we are involved in legal issues with him at the moment.

CaptainSerious

I am only responding to this because I want the answer here for anyone new to adoption/the board who stumbles across this inflammatory question, to help them understand what it's often like in closed adoptions like my own.

My husband adopted internationally for many reasons. At the time, we considered the fact that the adoptions would be closed an added perk. It didn't take long before I realized how badly I wish we could change that about our situation.

My older son was raised by his first mother for years. He misses her and feels disloyal to her. My younger son imagines his biological family dead. Not only to I wish, with everything I have, that we could find them, we have actually conducted a search for my older son's mother and for the people who found my younger son. My sons would understand why they can't live with their biological families. What they struggle with is why they can't know anything about or have contact with them.

Having as much contact, communication, and contact is in everyone's best interest, add it's the only way for everyone's questions to be addressed and for understanding, confidence, hope, forgiveness, and love to grow.

I don't have to be the only mother in my sons' life (just like they don't have to be the only sons in mine), I just want to live them and have them love me and grow up well-adjusted, and the best way to do that is by thinking about, and talking about, and maybe even having contact with their first/birth families.