Choosing God parents (aw/SS)

JmeJoLee83

We have lagged on getting DS baptized, but would like to so around Christmastime. There are a few friends I am considering to be godparents but am having a hard time choosing. One is my cousin, who lives out of state, but I've read if possible you should avoid having family. Two other friends live out of town so attending the prep class may be difficult. My other gf has been MIA lately. She is going through a tough time now, so I'm not sure if I should add more to her plate.

How did you choose your child's godparents? Did distance play a role in your decision?

tbmadeamistake

The church we used didn't have any prep classes, so that wasn't an issue for us. We did choose family members. In my family, you get two godparents the same sex as you, and one opposite. Charlie's godparents are dh's brother, my brother, and my bf. C's godparents are my sister, my other bf, and dh's other brother. All of them love close, but I don't think distance would have played a part. If we had wanted someone far away, that's who we would have chosen.

Now, picking a guardian in case we die was a bit more difficult. If you mean for the godparents to also be potential guardians, that's a whole nother ball of wax. We chose my little brother. My sister is strapped cash wise, my big brother just no. Steve's family would bring the kids up staunchly catholic and I want my kids to explore and choose religion on their own. My younger brother would let them do that without question, would love them like his own, and doesn't currently have anything already on his plate that would make it super difficult for him.

lest12

Why wouldn't you choose family? (Not tou personally, just curious what the reasoning was).

We chose my brother and sister. We are very close to them. DH's family is atheist so his siblings couldn't stand up there.

For guardians, we have my parents because they're just the most stable right now.

FAWKES81

We chose family. He also has more than the "recommended" amount.  My DH family dynamic is somewhat weird because his 2nd cousins are actually more like his aunt/uncle because of the way his dad was raised sooo...these same people (2nd cousins who are like aunt/uncle) are/were also my DH godparents.  They were still a perfect fit and were delighted to be chosen.  We also chose DH sister and bil and my aunt.  LO is very loved even if it was somewhat crowded around the baptismal fount.

We have yet to chose guardians...

Savvy122

DS1's godparents are friends of ours.  A married couple.  They are fantastic, but we didn't want to overwhelm them by asking them to also be DS2's godparents.

DS2 only has a godmother - my younger cousin.  Many of our family have left the Catholic church so we were very limited in who we could ask.  In fact, my brother and H's sister were both denied sponsorship papers because they don't attend church regularly.

coffee89

When we were picked to be Godparent's we were able to get permission to take the prep class at our church and bring proof to the church that was doing the baptism, so that is something you could look into if you want someone out of town.

We actually picked the parent's who had picked us and it was close together so there was no need to retake the classes, but again our church was okay with them having taken it elsewhere as long as it could be verified (normally you and the church get a certificate saying you were there). We picked them because my husband wanted a couple and we only have one married Catholic couple that we are close to. I was okay with it being other people who were close to us and we trusted and didn't feel like we would grow apart from so it worked out okay.

We never had intentions of the people we picked to be the guardian in the event that we ended up needing one, for that it was chosen to be my sister. 

nicolewhelan

We chose a close couple to be our DS's godparents. I am the godmother to their first child too. We have a lack of catholic friends and family it seems, plus we live in Atlanta where there aren't as many Catholics. So I'm a little worried for the next baby who we will choose. I could go either way on choosing family or friends. But so many of our family members have left the catholic faith so we are limited on options there as well, my mom is really the only one left. And my uncle that is still practicing lives in California so that just seems a bit far you know. Guess this is the disadvantage of having small families. 

curlylocks3

I have never heard of a recommendation to not pick family and no plenty of people who have done so. Maybe that's regional and/or specific to your church? We chose not to for other reasons- we felt that certain friends were better Catholic role models, plus there was no way we were asking H's sister and that would have caused huge drama.
Their godmothers are two very dear friends of mine and active Catholics. Their godfathers aren't very active in the Church but we considered them positive moral role models. Distance played a role to some degree- none of them live locally but we still see them regularly. We wouldn't have picked people we rarely see. In fact, we see these friends more often than any of our siblings and already they have played a more active role in their lives. We are very happy with our choice.

As for the prep, our godparents didn't need to take a class but I know that our parish's parent prep class had a couple in it that were going to be godparents out of town, so it might be an option for whoever you choose to take it local to them.

tbmadeamistake

I'm curious about this prep class some of you are mentioning. Dh's family is all catholic and dh was recently asked to be our niece's godfather. He's is a VERY lapsed Catholic, not practicing, and he wasn't asked to take any classes.

curlylocks3

@Lilygrace48‌ ours was to go over what to expect at actual baptism, why you're choosing to have your child baptized, and what the meaning of it all and role of godparents is. We filled out some paperwork and were given some articles to read (but not mandatory).

coffee89

Lilygrace48 said:

I'm curious about this prep class some of you are mentioning. Dh's family is all catholic and dh was recently asked to be our niece's godfather. He's is a VERY lapsed Catholic, not practicing, and he wasn't asked to take any classes.

Ours was an hour of explaining the history and importance of baptism and the other Rites. It was 100% pointless for DH and I. 

babygabe614

We do not have godparents for LO but my DH and I are the godparents of my BFF's son. We live 7 hours apart but BFF and I have been friends for 17 years and are more like family to each other than our actual families. We make visits both ways, and I send my god son gifts for birthdays, Christmas, etc. and try to be as involved with him as I can from a distance. When he gets older, we'll Skype and talk on the phone so we can maintain a connection (he is only 17 months right now). There was no prep class involved for us. 

We won't be choosing god parents for LO, but will have guardians picked out in case anything were to happen to me and DH. 

kimberly11511

We choose my brother and Dh's sister. My brother is special needs and will more than likely never have kids of his own. He is so excited to be her 2nd father (his words). We chose my SIL because she is a practicing catholic. DH and I had to take the prep class because our godparents live out of state. Had they been in state we wouldn't have since I finished RCIA in April.

lest12

Our "class" was just an hour where they told everyone what to do, where to sit, what to say, etc. Only half the people showed up @lilygrace48.

JmeJoLee83

Thanks for all the info, I think I will just check in with my out of town friend to see if she feels comfortable coming up for the class.

jenlynne0624

Our class was short and pretty useless. We went over what baptism means and the process for mass l, which they also went over the day of. It was an hour.
We chose my brother and my cousin's wife who I am close to. Dhs brother will be godfather for the next baby.

MrsCase1

My kids don't have any godparents because we don't have any good options. Our siblings aren't decent candidates and our friends aren't in a place to accept such responsibility. For me, I feel like a godparent needs to be someone super close geographically because the entire point is so they can be active in your child's life and influence them spiritually and as someone to look up to. If it's just ceremonial then I think it doesn't matter who you choose.