STM+

BBColt78

Tell me about your second kid. How is he/she compared to the first?

Our first DD was the easiest baby ever. She was textbook, easy going, STTN for 12 hours since 5 weeks. Even at 3 years old, she's really a blessing. Some tantrums here and there but such a personality and so likable. 

DD #2...  she's obviously here as pay pack for having such an easy time with DD #1. She has reflux and colic. She's given us a run for our money since week two. Nothing about her has been easy... we still can't figure out if she's hungry or tired. She's such a hard read. She seems to have trouble with overstimulation and other factors. Needless to say, we are kinda struggling. We already knew we were only have two kids (both IVF/Frozen) but she's really sealed the deal. 

What's your experience? I'm sure some have had the other way around with the first being difficult.

 How long do these difficult babies last? Is this a life sentence????? hehehe

Mamanorris81

Ds1 and ds2 are a lot alike. Both very laid back guys. ds1 is needy, I still have to hold him while he falls asleep at 2 1/3. I have made sure to let ds2 fall asleep on his own and he prefers it now. Because of ds1's neediness it was quite an adjustment at first, I'm in a rytham now. I would never have kids this close in age again. We don't have any help from family and that has been tough.DH is sure he is done having babies but I would like 1 more down the road. We will see. Hope it gets easier for you!!

argonne

They are both fairly easy. DD is a better sleeper, but I don't know if that's because she really is or if I implemented a routine right away for DD as well as know her sleepy cues better than I did with DS.

BBColt78

argonne said:

They are both fairly easy. DD is a better sleeper, but I don't know if that's because she really is or if I implemented a routine right away for DD as well as know her sleepy cues better than I did with DS.

I implemented right away with both but only the first bought the routine. The second one is more, "thanks, but no thanks" on the routine!

Jillybean100

Our first, DD, was our tough baby. She had really terrible reflux and a cow's milk protein allergy. Feeding her was a nightmare. She never caught on to breastfeeding and it used to take us about 45 minutes just to get her to take in 2-3 ounces from a bottle. It was a real struggle for about a year to get her to gain weight. She also was a terrible napper so we literally held her for almost every nap for about 10 months which sounds crazy, but if she didn't get sleep she was absolutely miserable and would scream herself purple. 

DS is so different. He is a great eater and generally just more laid back. He cries when he's overtired, but otherwise is a really happy guy. With DD things started to improve as she gained more independence (crawling, walking, etc.) and also as her communication skills developed and it also helped that she grew out of her reflux and allergy and could actually eat without being in pain. By 1 she was much easier to deal with. Now at age 2, she still can be high strung and demanding at times, but I find it's much easier than when she was a baby since it's much easier to communicate and figure out what she needs or wants. What really helped us with DD when she was a baby and even now is keeping her to a pretty strict schedule. She was up every day at pretty much the same time. Then she would eat, play, nap and we would go through the day repeating that same cycle. For the first 6 months she was never up for much longer than 1.5 hours since any more and she would be a mess. I think she really needed sleep to help her process everything so that was a huge priority for us. Good luck with DD#2! I have faith that it will get easier as she gets older like it did with my DD. 

INmommy871278

DS was by the far the easiest most laid back baby, but he is currently in the terrible two phase of life. He slept through the night at 5 weeks, always went down on his own, and ate like a champ. He wasn't a clingy baby either and preferred to be left alone. He didn't even like to be held for very long at a time.

DD is an awesome baby too, but she is my little cuddle bug. She has to be rocked for a few minutes before being put down for the night and she refuses to even attempt to hold her bottle. She sleeps through the night and in her crib which is nice.

[Deleted User]

DS1 was a terrible sleeper. Other than that, he was very good.

DS2 until this past week has been super easy but this nursing strike is hard. I never went through it with DS1 so it's a new and heartbreaking experience for me. I hope we can get past it soon.

mcvgal

DS1 was a totally different experience. Being a 30 weeker, he spent 40 days in the NICU, came home on an apnea monitor and had so many different doctor/specialist appointments during his first year. He started STTN one week before his first birthday. Even though we were told to ajdust his age to count milestones, he always seemed to be ahead of the game.

DS2 I was worried about bringing a baby home from the hospital right away. He started STTN at 3 months which is the biggest surprise to me. I am so thankful for that becuase I was prepared for him to take a year just like big brother.

Both are pretty easy going, DS1 is almost 3 and is just now hitting the "terrible" stage so we'll see how long I saw he's easy going:)

bullybutt

At the time I thought DS was a great baby, but looking back he was my more high maintenance kid.  He was such a HUGE titty baby and was constantly nursing for food and comfort.  He was impossible to get to sleep on his own, hated his crib and still to this day has to sleep with someone at night to go to sleep.  He was always ahead of the curve with milestones and has been a pretty brilliant kid from the start.  DS is a super easy baby.  She doesn't really like sleeping on her own either and wakes up when I try to put her down, but it's probably my fault because she has slept with/on me since birth.  She is super mellow and just takes everything in.  She isn't an overachiever like her brother yet. 

iris427

Yes, it's a life sentence lol. My first baby had a high maintenance personality and now she is a kindergartner with a high maintenance personality. I'm dreading the adolescent years.

So far my other two are more easy going. My second kid is very even-keeled and easy to please.

iris427

Although there is a difference between a baby being difficult because they have colic or reflux, and because they just have a more challenging temperament. There will be easier ages and harder ages too. Some days one kid is driving me the craziest, some days it's the other kid.

Soon2BMrsN

DS1 and DD are similarly easy. DS2 has been a wild card right from the start. At 3, he's still a terrible sleeper and he's been screaming at me in lack-of-sleep crankiness all day so far today.

BBColt78

iris427 said:

Although there is a difference between a baby being difficult because they have colic or reflux, and because they just have a more challenging temperament. There will be easier ages and harder ages too. Some days one kid is driving me the craziest, some days it's the other kid.

I'm hoping this reflux thing and colic is outgrown. It's tough stuff!

jcartz

DD1 was tough- dietary issues, cat napped only & literally didn't sleep through the night until 2 years old. That's one of the reasons we waited so long to ttc for #2- I just didn't know if we could do it again, it was that difficult on me personally and our marriage. She was a happy baby, just challenging.
DD2 is a dream. So mellow, such a laid back lovey baby, and a better sleeper (though rarely naps unless held/moving. We lucked out with dd2 being an easier baby, but I'm also more laid back as a STM, too.

EllaSmella

Both my kids have been easy in some ways and hard in others.

DS was the happiest baby. Never cried. Rarely fussed. Ate well. Was flexible with naps. But he was an atrocious night sleeper. We're talking up every 1-2 hours all night until he was 12 months old. Could never settle himself back to sleep without being held and/or nursed. Once I weaned at 12 months, we did some gentle sleep training and he started sleeping through the night.

DD is less of a happy baby. She cries more often. She fusses a lot in the car. She will freak out if you don't put her down for a nap right when she needs one. However, she's a much better sleeper - she's been going 7-9 hour stretches since she was about 6 weeks old. She resettles very easily if she wakes and is a much better self soother (she sucks her thumb).

So, it's a trade off. But I love to sleep, so in the end I think I would classify DD as an "easier" baby.

EllaSmella

argonne said:

They are both fairly easy. DD is a better sleeper, but I don't know if that's because she really is or if I implemented a routine right away for DD as well as know her sleepy cues better than I did with DS.

I do think that I was able to get DD on a schedule much sooner than DS because I was better at picking up on sleep cues and understanding how long she was able to be awake before needing to sleep. I was pretty clueless on that stuff with DS.

bullybutt

quinncat said:

Ds1 was a hard baby. Cried a lot, hated to be set in anything, had to be held for naps, had to sleep in our bed until over a year old, screamed in the car. He is still our most difficult at most 3 and ...he is back to sleeping in our bed at night. I swear he will be high maintenance forever. He is also very emotional. My twins are pretty easy individually compared to him. Ds2 puts himself to sleep at night, but wants to be held for naps. Dd1 would love to sleep in our bed, but I only let her in the morning. They both like the car which is a relief. At home I am always pretty much holding one of them. They don't cry too much.

Your DS sounds a little like mine.  He is a hothead and has the most schrilling scream ever.  He puts Mariah Carey to shame.  I am up with him more in the middle of the night than I am DD.  However, this kid has self potty trained and already completely out of diapers just after turning 2. He will also carry a conversation with you like a grown adult.  Enough of my AWness.  I guess it's just the way that they are wired.  Who knows?

BBColt78

bullybutt said:

quinncat said:

Ds1 was a hard baby. Cried a lot, hated to be set in anything, had to be held for naps, had to sleep in our bed until over a year old, screamed in the car. He is still our most difficult at most 3 and ...he is back to sleeping in our bed at night. I swear he will be high maintenance forever. He is also very emotional. My twins are pretty easy individually compared to him. Ds2 puts himself to sleep at night, but wants to be held for naps. Dd1 would love to sleep in our bed, but I only let her in the morning. They both like the car which is a relief. At home I am always pretty much holding one of them. They don't cry too much.

Your DS sounds a little like mine.  He is a hothead and has the most schrilling scream ever.  He puts Mariah Carey to shame.  I am up with him more in the middle of the night than I am DD.  However, this kid has self potty trained and already completely out of diapers just after turning 2. He will also carry a conversation with you like a grown adult.  Enough of my AWness.  I guess it's just the way that they are wired.  Who knows?

My DD #1 was fully conversant by the age of 2 as well. Isn't it crazy? We'd go places and people always thought she was much older than she was. Her vocal is huge at 3.5

Did you read to your DS daily? We read to DD #1 since the day she was born. I know that has something to do with it.

We joke about DD #2... she hasn't found her thumb yet. LOL

EllaSmella

BBColt78 said:

My DD #1 was fully conversant by the age of 2 as well. Isn't it crazy? We'd go places and people always thought she was much older than she was. Her vocal is huge at 3.5

Did you read to your DS daily? We read to DD #1 since the day she was born. I know that has something to do with it.

We joke about DD #2... she hasn't found her thumb yet. LOL

We read to DS a ton and he had/has the most incredible vocabulary. At two, he was speaking better than most four year olds and always had amazing diction and pronunciation. I really attribute this to the amount of reading we did with him when he was young (and still do). I think this especially because he's not necessarily advanced in other areas. Socially and emotionally, he's very average for his age, so it's not that I think his huge vocab is due to being a genius - because I don't think he is :-)