People who Bed Share, talk to me.

Codypup

I guess I'm just looking to see where people are on this topic, if you're still bed sharing. Do you enjoy it or is it because that's how everyone sleeps the best? Have you tried to transition but failed? Any plans to fully transition soon?

I'm in a weird place about it. I absolutely love sleeping with her, we have plenty of room in the bed. She's easy to sleep with, and my H and I (normally) sleep well, too. But part of me feels pressure to move her into her crib. Like I feel weirdly embarrassed when I tell people we bed share. And I worry that she'll be 9 years old and still sleeping with us.

Anyway, I just wanted to see where everyone else was on this subject. 

shellbell3845

Who cares what people think? If 9yo W is still sleeping with you, we'll address that in 8.5 years.

We don't bed share. But that's because LO sleeping in his own space works for us. If it didn't, I'd be open to other options.

breadpudding

We bed shared with DS1 and we now bed share with LO. Trust me when I say that your child will not be 9 and still sleeping with you. FFMC? We bed shared with DS1 until he was 3. Actually, I was about 2 weeks away from giving birth to LO when we made the switch. That's super embarassing to admit, but oh well. He slept with us until he was a little over 2yo, and that was when we decided to put him in a toddler bed. Then I found out I was pregnant and I wanted to keep him close to me "because this was the last few months ever that he was going to be my only baby". X_X

Then the day came and we made a huge deal about how awesome his own bed was. DH and I "begged" him to let us sleep in his big boy bed with him because of how cool it was and he was tickled pink telling us no. It was easy and we haven't had problems since.

Now with LO, we plan to bed share until he's maybe a year and a half. Honestly, I don't really feel the need to rush things. We are all happy with our sleeping arrangements and until that changes, it will probably stay this way.

TL;DR You won't break Willa by bed sharing. She won't be 9 and still sleeping with you. You can't break her by doing this. #teambedsharing

/ramble

ahare2009

Penguin173 said:

We still bed share and I can totally relate to the way you feel. I hate telling people she still sleeps with us because it inevitably leads them to giving me unsolicited advice about how to transition her and get her to sleep through the night. It's really quite annoying.

I honestly have tried a couple of times to put her in her crib, but I didn't try very hard. She is not a good sleeper no matter where she is sleeping, so when we tried the crib, I brought her to bed after her first wake up of the night. It's really just mostly out of convenience for me. Since she wakes up a lot regardless, I get more rest with her in our bed than if I were to get up to go to her room every time.

I figure we'll transition her when we're both ready. Right now, I don't feel like we are and as long as my bf and I are ok with that, then I don't think anyone else's opinions on the subject matter.

Same here.  He actually slept in his crib the first few weeks, caught a cold, so I brought him to our bed, now I can't get him back to his crib.  Poor DH has moved to the guest room so we have more space.  I haven't tried too hard to transition him, because, like Penguin, it is easier on me to just roll over and nurse him back to sleep.  I would like to have my bed back, he is a bed hog. For now, this is what works for us.

versed

The four of us bedshare (DS1 is 2 and DS2 is 9m). We have two beds attached on the floor. It actually works great, and 90% of the time, we all sleep well. It works for us, and no matter who criticizes us, we know we are doing it safely and it's right for us. The kids will be done soon enough.

We may try to transition ds1 when we move in a few weeks, but we'll attack that when the time comes.

Do whatever feels right!

Flyingtoast

We bed share. LO had a sidecar-Ed crib on my side of the bed, but she can't sleep very long without being able to find both of us. Of my friends, everyone is very supportive to bed sharing. Dh's friends think its weird and keep pushing to transition her. I feel it's weird that the people who aren't waking up to feed the baby have any say on changing what is currently working. What worked for them, worked for them. Great!, but it doesn't work for us. Team stick with what works

NoelMarieFrey

DD has been bed sharing with DH and I for a few months now.  She has been sick on and off, and truthfully, we all sleep better when she is in bed with us.  

I do feel pressured from friends and family all the time.  I couldn't tell you how many times they have said to me "You'll regret it" or "Don't you want your privacy and space back?".  But honestly, I feel like when were ready (Mainly when I am ready) I will try and transition her to her crib.  I just feel like they don't stay little forever, and I like sharing our bed with her.  \

People can have they're own opinion, and that is 100% fine.  But when people start giving me the unwanted parenting advice, I kindly tell them that I will raise my kids how I see fit, and walk away.  Only you know whats right for you and your LO's!  Don't let anyone make you feel bad for doing what you want to do. 

kella0708

DS sleeps in his crib 90% of the time. I would be more open to bed sharing but DH is a very heavy sleeper and moves around A LOT. I've had my fair share of elbows to the face and knees to the back so I never really considered it as a option for us. I do bring DS to our bed in the mornings when I want that extra hour or 2 of sleep.

But now that DH is away until December I'm taking advantage of all the baby snuggles I can get >:D<

Codypup

Thank you guys. I was feeling weird because us bed sharing is not the result of having a bad sleeper, or whatever -- it's honestly what I prefer. I tuck my hand under her little leg, and I can feel her breathing, and it's soothing and peaceful and the best part of my day.

It also helps for MOTN when she fusses and I don't have to get up. I'm able to catch the fuss before it turns into a full blown meltdown. 

I have no plans to move her...I figure I'll wait until I feel ready for one reason or another. My H would like her in the crib, I think, but he wants me happy more than he wants her in the crib if that makes sense. 

Thanks for your responses!

MamaHollywood27

Mevaroo said:

We still bed share about half the time. He sleeps in his crib some nights, and usually starts out there, but lately has been waking up and is inconsolable until he's snuggled with either DH or I, so he ends up in our bed.

Team "doing whatever works to get everyone the most sleep"

This- except he has never made it thru the night in his bed. But the last 3 weekish I start him at 7:30 in his bed then by 1 he is usually in by me

versed

@lowea1‌ - we currently have a floor bed, so I'm comfortable putting LO on our bed, turning the monitor on, and then going to bed when we're ready.

However, when we move, we're getting rid of the floor bed, so LO will go to bed in his crib, then come into our bed upon his first evening waking. We have a mesh bed rail already, and LO will sleep between me and bed rail.

Codypup

lowea1 said:

We only bring DS to our bed for naps on the weekend or if we want to try for an extra hour of sleep, but I have always wondered - for those of you that bedshare from the beginning of the night, does LO sleep in the crib/PnP/etc until you're ready for bed, or do you go to sleep around the same time? 

I go to bed shortly after she does, and basically move to the bedroom to unwind instead of lounging in the living room. But while I'm busy getting ready to get into bed, I put her on the side of the bed that's pushed up against the wall, and then stack huge pillow mountains in a wide L shape around her. If for whatever reason I'm not in bed soon after she is, I check on her obsessively and keep the monitors on high. 

THAT right there is one reason I'd consider maybe transitioning. It'd be nice to put her down and not worry about checking on her constantly.

Flyingtoast

lowea1 said:

We only bring DS to our bed for naps on the weekend or if we want to try for an extra hour of sleep, but I have always wondered - for those of you that bedshare from the beginning of the night, does LO sleep in the crib/PnP/etc until you're ready for bed, or do you go to sleep around the same time? 

We roughly go to bed at the same time. If on the off chance she actually isn't full of energy till 11pm, she sleep in the bed, with one of us in the same room. We moved our computers into what is currently our bedroom since we have night owl. In house naps are either on a plush carpet, sofa pillow, or in bed with me crocheting in bed. Most of the time naps happen when she is being back carried during property choirs.

Dexter&11

I've never bed shared, we didn't even room share for more than one night...my other half still wakes me up at least once a month to tell me I'm squashing LO
If it works for you then keep doing it. If they aren't getting up with or raising the LO in question then their opinion is a Moo point

ramfan05

Dexter&11 said:

I've never bed shared, we didn't even room share for more than one night...my other half still wakes me up at least once a month to tell me I'm squashing LO If it works for you then keep doing it. If they aren't getting up with or raising the LO in question then their opinion is a Moo point

Dexter&11

elf828 said:

That is my most-used Friends reference  )  I sincerely hope D+11 meant it as such!

@codypup I think bedsharing is sweet.  I was too nervous to attempt it more than letting LO sleep on my chest in the early morning when she was a tiny newborn, but I think if it's working for you then keep going for as long as you, DH and LO want to.  I think it's weird to volunteer an opinion if you are not one of the people that the bed in question belongs to.

Oh I did

Karlamo

Being gay, I'm used to people having strong opinons of what happens in my bedroom. 

 People act like they are the ones being asked to sleep with R instead of us

.He starts out in his crib and around 10:30 or whenever his first wake up is, we bring him in with us.  Our perfect scenario would be putting him to bed around 7-8pm and having him sleep the entire night in his bed.  Or even waking up once/twice to feed then back down in his bed.  He still wakes every 1.5-2 hours so bed sharing is how we have been able to function at work.

While everyone else seems worried that MY child with sleep with us until his college days, we are not.  We know this is temporary and it's what allows us to function at work.  He is still waking every 1.5-2hours at night.  I made the decision to lie to anyone who asks if he's STTN.  I can do without their suggestions because we have either tried them or we are not ok with them. 

We do love sleeping with him.  He's the only time of day that he is still and quiet. He can get annoying with his frequent feedings and is a bed hog. 

 

MissDemeanor

I was just going to create a post about this! We still bed share. I tried to put LO in his crib back in August. It was ok, except that I'd have to fully wake up to feed him, and wasn't getting enough sleep. He's back with us, although I kick bf out half the time, due to snoring.

R will roll over and scoot until he's touching me. It's adorable, and I feel truly blessed to get in some cuddle time with my busy baby. I love holding his chubby little hand when I go to sleep. 

My bf questioned me at first, because he just assumed babies belong in their own rooms, because society says so. So I asked him why he likes to share a bed with me. He said coziness, comfort, bonding, etc. And so I pointed out that the way R snuggles in with us shows me he's seeking the same things. BF agreed, and here R stays. I think it's bliss, but also know that it isn't for everyone. Team do what works for your family. #teamsleep

I'd like to quickly rant though, because it seems like "they" feel if the baby is sleeping with you, you've failed somehow. If you were doing things right, LO would be STTN, in his own room. But you haven't figured it out, so you have to settle or make do with bed sharing. I think this is where the embarrassment comes from.