Oldest Siblings...

bossybluejay

So I found out I was pregnant just over a week ago. I'm 27 and my husband is 29 and I've always said I wanted to have kids before I turned 30. I'm the oldest sibling, my sister is 19 and a sophomore in college, and I'm also the oldest grandchild on both sides, therefore my family is kind of shocked as I expected, my dad especially. My mom and grandma are both pretty excited now that they've gotten over the initial "I'm going to be a grandma/great grandma" freak out. My dad and sister....they're happy for me and everything but I think they're just like really surprised. 

It's a bit frustrating to me because my husband and I both have really good (and extremely flexible) jobs, we own our own home, don't have any debt except a mortgage, and I specifically waited to even try to get pregnant until I felt like I was in a good spot in my career & also until I had my CPA license. I know that it must be a shocker to hear that you're going to be a grandma or grandpa for the first time but I hate feeling like people think I was irresponsible or something. My husband is the baby of his family and both of his siblings have kids already so his parents were like "cool!". 

Did any other oldest siblings go through this? 

MrsFrenchGlove

Yes! With our first, my mom was very shocked and her initial reaction was not very positive. But it was really about her becoming a gma, not me having a baby. They'll come around and be so excited!!!

willowprincess

Congrats and welcome. Dh and I are both the oldest. When we got pregnant the first time both our families were super excited and not surprised at all. MIL did say "I thought you were gonna wait" (which we were planning on it), but she had happy tears when she said it, so I know she was happy.

Dh's grandma however said "Oh no!" That was special.

bossybluejay

willowprincess said:

Congrats and welcome. Dh and I are both the oldest. When we got pregnant the first time both our families were super excited and not surprised at all. MIL did say "I thought you were gonna wait" (which we were planning on it), but she had happy tears when she said it, so I know she was happy.

Dh's grandma however said "Oh no!" That was special.

My mom said that when she and my dad found out they were pregnant with me (not planned and totally a surprise) my grandparents reaction was "good grief!" and my grandpa informed them that he was too young to be called grandpa.

bossybluejay

My dad made a comment that he was happy for me but he just thought I was going to wait a couple years. There was no point in waiting though! There were several things I wanted to have done before we had kids, like buy a house, have two reliable cars, a couple of major home repairs, and have a certain amount of money in savings. The biggest though was getting my CPA license, which I spent six months doing nothing but studying for. My sister probably has the most frustrating reaction because she's either like "I don't like kids" or "I still view you as a bratty teenager, not a 27 year old". I thought once she got over the initial shock she seem somewhat happy but she has never expressed any kind of excitement or anything. Maybe that's normal for a 19 year old.

bossybluejay

skiergal38 said:

I'm the only child, and only grandchild on my side. My parents were excited. We're telling my H's parents tonight, and I'm sure they'll be excited. He's the older one and his brother is still in college.

I'm actually a CPA as well, and fairly established in my career at this point. Same financial situation as you also.

Awesome! I did my time in public accounting & never even thought about having kids then as I was traveling almost 50% of the year. Then I left and went into private accounting for a public company & I've been there for two years. I feel well established there and at this point, I'm almost certain that if I wanted to, I could work from home after my maternity leave as there are already several people in my department who work entirely remotely. I specifically waited until I was in a job that allowed that flexibility so that I didn't feel trapped into anything. I think the shock is less about me and more about them realizing that they're old enough to be grandparents lol. 

bossybluejay

Silv3rlining said:

My DH is the oldest in his family. However he was the 2nd to get married and 3rd to have a kid. So it was really nbd. However he's the 1st to have a 2nd kid. (DH is 39, BIL is 36, SIL is 33) I'm really surprised family would be "shocked" to find out a married couple is expecting (unless you were adamant you didn't want kids). Hopefully the shock will wear off soon and be replaced with excitement.

I know! That's what I was telling my mom- did everyone just think I was either never going to have kids or wait 20 years? I am nervous to tell my grandma and grandpa because they told my mom a few weeks ago that they were 'certain' I wasn't going to have kids for another 10 years. Noooo idea where they got that from because I've always said I wanted kids and always said I wanted at least one before I turned 30.

bossybluejay

I don't even know why I care. I should just let it be and give my dad and sister time to come to terms with it. My dad reacted the same way when I got engaged. I don't think he deals with change well lol. 

bossybluejay

ilovelucyv said:

Im the oldest and i was 28 when i found out i was pregnant for the first time. DH and i both were in a similar position as you in terms of job, house, etc. My mother was overjoyed. Im sorry you didnt get the reaction you hoped for, im sure they'll come around

My mom is pretty excited. Her first reaction was "oh my god. oh my god. oh my god" Lol and then she made me call my grandma (her mom). She told my dad and his reaction was "...oh". My grandma was excited and told me she was already planning her trip out to meet her first great grand baby.

dojo1

I'm the youngest, but I get the same reactions I guess because I'm viewed as the baby.  I also get this when H is acting out:  "Can you imagine another!?"  

MamaK818

My dh is the oldest and his parents said "wow, we thought you'd wait longer" when we told them about our first. We were the same, good jobs, house, no debt. Try to give them time, once baby gets closer/is here I'm sure they'll be super excited, I know it can be frustrating though.