**Last Update** 6 weeks no heartbeat. . .

Blessed4This

Got a call today (my birthday) my levels did go down so we unfortunately did lose the baby. I'm actually some what relieved to finally for sure know that it's gone. I was driving myself crazy with the simple thought of oh it might still be alive it may have just been a mistake. But now we know so now it's time to figure out what to do next.... and I need all yalls help please. I was all about waiting it out and letting it happen naturally. But I've been told that it can take up to 6 weeks to complete. I'm now stuck with either the pill you insert vaginally or the surgery... I see the surgery can permanently damage your uterus from the scrapping.... the pill seems like it would be painful. I just need some insight. Please. What do I do. I just wanna get it over with asap so I can move on. With it still inside me makes me feel so sad. I just wanna get things going... and hopefully have a successful pregnancy soon after.

NoeliaV

I am so sorry to hear

The miscarriage board is helpful to read to get others' experiences, when you feel up for checking it out. 

With my m/c, I wasn't a candidate for the medicine (breastfeeding) so we scheduled a D&C for the following week. However, shortly after my appointment, I started to have pink spotting, which progressed over the next day, and I ended up having a natural miscarriage.

Honestly, that was my preference, if I couldn't do the medicine. Going under anesthesia freaks me out.

Please feel free to PM me if you need more details or have additional questions. Sending you lots of hugs in the coming days. 

asturgeon04

I've had a couple miscarriages and I didn't opt for either. I wanted to give myself as much opportunity to conceive again. The waiting for it to happen naturally is depressing but that was what was best for me.

seannemairi

The pill is mildly painful, but it's fairly brief and no worse than a bad period. At least for me. I'm so sorry for your loss and wish you a happy and healthy journey to your next pregnancy!

adorebel

I'm so, so sorry to hear this. You and your family are in my thoughts. 

beckynsean11

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's a hard decision to make. I went with a D&E (lower risk of uterine damage because it uses suction not scraping). I couldn't bear the thought of dragging things out another month or longer. For me going to sleep, then waking up with it over was easiest. When I woke up, I had a feeling of "Ok, it's done. Now I can heal." It's a very personal decision though. I've heard a lot of stories from women who tried the medicine & it didn't work, then they ended up needing surgery anyway. So I don't think I'd ever go that route, not a risk I'm interested.

It's such a personal decision though. I wish you the best. Take care of yourself!

BookishMomma

I'm so very sorry for your loss. I have had 2 natural miscarriages, at about 5 and 6 weeks, respectively. I've had one D&C at 9 weeks. The natural miscarriages were not very painful. I had some cramping, but nothing worse than a really bad period. With the D&C, I was groggy for a couple of days from the anesthesia. I also ended up having retained tissue and had to have a second surgery to get everything out. So... if it were me in your shoes, I would opt for either natural or taking the medication. But that's just based on my experiences. There are lots of women who have had D&Cs without the complications I experienced.

Also, you may already know this, but there's a Miscarriage/Loss board and also TTCAL (trying to conceive after a loss) that might be a great support for you if/when you are feeling up to it. Again, I'm so sorry you're going through this.

edit- clarity

housewifebecomesher

Very very sorry to hear this.  As PP mentioned, the Loss board was extremely helpful for me when I went through my m/c.  It was the only place I felt like I could talk to people who understood.

As far as the decision you face, everyone is different.  For me, the D&C was the right choice because it was the least traumatic.  The chances of damage are very small, but they do exist.  I went on to have a healthy and happy pregnancy just three months after my D&C, so don't lose hope.  Losses are much more common than people realize.

bbcherie

I'm so sorry for your loss. I had a miscarriage in July and opted for the meds. I was terrified that it would be really painful (stay away from google!), but for me it didn't hurt at all. I actually thought it didn't work because I was expecting pain and there wasn't any. I ended up miscarrying over the next 3 days, I had cramping but nothing really painful. I think it all depends on the individual person. I'm sorry you're going through this, good luck with your decision!

KikiCohen

I am so, so sorry  Not that there's ever a time to hear this news, but I'm so sorry for the timing.  

With my loss, I was so far along that a D&C was really my only option.  I probably would have chosen it any way b/c I just couldn't imagine having it happen over days and days.  I just wanted everything to be over with.  I've never heard that having one could hurt your uterus though, so I'm not sure about that.  It was physically an easy procedure.  I had some mild cramping and bled on and off for about two weeks.  Obviously, it's devastating emotionally, but any option would be.  

And just to give you a heads up.... if you chose a D&C, you will probably have to sign a paper that basically amounts to approving the hospital to dispose of the "material" from the procedure.  I was completely unprepared for this and remember sitting there and staring at that paper for a long time b/c of what it literally meant.  

Big hugs and best of luck with your decision.

beattykid

I'm so sorry for you.  I mentioned this before, but I had a D&C in June and that is what I would choose.  My doctor (who is great) recommended either the surgery or the pill, she did not advise waiting for it to happen naturally because my body had already not recognized it for so long (I measured around 6 weeks and I was at 10) and she was worried about infection caused by decay.  I'm not trying to scare you, but that scared the crap out of me and it can cause damage inside.  I would try to find out what your insurance covers because the surgery can be expensive but mine covered the whole thing.  I just couldn't bare to do it myself at home with the pill.  I wanted it finished and clean so I could heal, and my hospital had a ceremony I could go to where they bury the remains of all of the lost children.  It was nice because that part was so strange and sad to think about but I knew my baby was safe with the others instead of thrown out with other medical waste.  

One other thing is if you have the surgery you can have the remains tested to see if there was anything wrong.  My tests all came back normal which means it was likely a chromosonal issue, but I did clean the kitty litter and had a few sandwiches so it was nice to know it wasn't toxoplasmosis (sp?) or listeria. 

Last note, it is very very hard to walk around and know that your baby has passed but is still with you.  It made me feel better when I read somewhere that you are giving your baby a resting place.  I'm so sorry you are going through this.  Please feel free to message me if you want.  

opheliacantswim

I don't have any advice about your choices, but I just wanted to say I am so very, very sorry.  Thinking of you and yours. 

RNMoMmy17

Im so sorry you are going through this. I opted for the pill. That way I knew when it was going to happen, I was "prepared", & I could get it over with so we could start moving on and healing. Problem was, it didn't work I did 2 rounds without results. Had to have d&c anyways. I know your pain & I'm so sorry. Thats my opinion on the options. I'd want to avoid surgery if at all possible & have some control over when it happened. The waiting was terrible. At least once it's over you can start to heal. Ts & Ps for you. I hope this helps. PM me if you'd like.

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Ana0927

I just wanted to say I am sorry for your loss. 

GASuzuki

I am very sorry for your loss. A friend of mine had a miscarriage and a subsequent D&C; she got pregnant within a few months afterward.

jmw46

I am so sorry for your loss! I have only had a natural m/c so I can only speak to that.  I had a lot of cramping, so it was painful (and emotionally very painful) but the physical pain wasn't completely overwhelming.

aimhop

I'm so sorry for your loss
I had a missed miscarriage in August. I opted for the pills because the thought of it taking up to 6 weeks to happen on its own felt like too much for me to handle.
It was painful, but only lasted a few hours. And the pain was bearable. I did take one of the pain pills they gave me. Everything completed as it was supposed to and I had no further problems. I had one normal period and then got pregnant again immediately after. I'm now 6wks 6days and optimistic as my levels are doubling this time.
I wish you all the best with whichever option you choose and hope you have a healthy, full term pregnancy when you're ready to try again >:D<

finchfeeder80

I am so terribly sorry for your loss. 

I think I would rather just have the surgery and get it over with quickly. I can't imagine the hell of waiting for it to happen naturally, or risk the pill not working. I think it would be so hard to have it be a days long process as well. 

I wish you the best of luck in finding the right decision for you, grieving and healing. My thoughts are with you.

TheAerialist

Ugh.  i'm sorry.  These answers have been helpful to me too because I am going through the same thing.  I definitely did NOT want to wait for it to happen naturally (although prior to finding out I was definitely going to wait for it to happen naturally!) I just wanted it to be over.

Last time I took 2 rounds of the pills and then had to have a D&E (which is the suction one) which was totally fine, I went to work afterwards, but that was after 2 rounds of pills, which was a long-ass time.

This time I took the pills again on Tuesday and they haven't worked, so I am likely going to need the D&C anyway.  

Next time (god forbid) I will go straight to the D&C because this medicine clearly doesn't work on me, but generally I am resistant to medications, I always need more than is expected.

mrssmith5

I'm so sorry for what you have to go through. I lost my first baby in May at 6 weeks but didn't find out til 9 weeks. I thought my body and mind would sync up after knowing the truth and it would happen naturally but it never did. I ended up using the pill. It was awful (more emotionally tha physically) but I was glad to have control. I didn't have to wait anymore. If you use the pill, a heating pad brought me the most relief. I pray for you and your family as you grieve the loss of your little one. Only you will know what's best for you and your situation. Trust your gut.

superkarynfragilistic

I am so very sorry for your loss. I was in a similar situation and I opted for the D&C as I did not want to deal with the emotional impact of waiting for my body to expel the contents of my uterus. The surgery was quick and relatively painless. I was exhausted for a few days after and a bit crampybut nothing that Tylenol could not handle.

My biggest advice is to find someone to talk to -- friends, a group, anyone who understands and will allow you to grieve. This is a loss and deserves to be treated as such.

Much love to you.

jackierj07

I found out i had a blighted ovum last December and although I kept telling myself that I wanted to miscarry naturally i was also told it could take several weeks before my body miscarried on its own. I decided to have the D&C and it was what was best for me. The procedure was quick and I felt better within a day or two. My doctor did a great job and was able to get everything out the first time. I ended up getting my period about a month and a half later. Sorry for your loss. I know how hard it is !

lclutter14

I had a blighted ovum miscarriage in Feb and took cytotec by mouth. It helped give me closure in order to move on sooner. It was just like a really heavy period but ibuprofen took care of my cramps. Good luck and so sorry for your loss.

kristle8384

I'm so very sorry. I've had 9 misscariages and they never get any easier. The pill is painful but best. Your strong you'll be fine just take a few painkillers and get a heat bag on your belly and hop into bed.

Apollo11235

I'm so sorry for your loss. Thinking of you.

kailanick

I am so sorry for your loss. I am praying for you and your significant other and send love to you.

hswan26

I've done both at different points in time. Honestly if I faced it again I would do the d&c. When I did the pills it was much more emotional for me because I had to see everything. At least with the surgery I just went to sleep and when I woke up it was over. I also bled a much shorter length of time after the d&c. That may not mean it's the right choice for you but you said you were looking for opinions.

So sorry you're going through this.

carrick2310

I'm so sorry for your loss... My gf had a D&C in April last year and she naturally conceived this September! That's just her experience and you have to do what's best for you!

jno86

I would go for the surgery. I had a miscarriage in July 2013 and a missed miscarriage in July 2014 which I opted to do the d&c and now I'm 6w 5d preg and got to hear the heart beat today... They call it like a fresh new start with the surgery!! It's not that bad, just sneezing hurts for a little after! And I'm very very sorry for your loss.